Lisa's Writing Projects and Thoughts on Life

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE OF THINGS: FREEBIES!!

2008-10-28T08:08:00.001-07:00

Okay, so what have I been doing??

Searching for freebies! Has the economy been a factor for you? It surely has been for our family. So every penny counts now...how about for you?

So...I've been searching hi & lo for the best freebie sites, which I will be adding slowly to this site as I come across them. I've tried the 'so-called' freebies and surveys, and sure enough I've spotted 'loopholes', the true cost for the item in the midst of filling out question after question to get the so-called "free" item. Although the sites I list will have some of these listed on the sites, you should be able to spot them right away when they ask for any kind of 'participation' clause at the beginning and usually the bigger the item, the greater the participation, as one would assume. Try one and see if you want to put the time, energy and cost into this sample and then you'll know whether it's worth it for you...quite frankly I didn't find a sample I felt was worth all of the questions and requirements, but to each his own.

I've ordered many samples over the past month and they are slowly but surely coming in! Why samples? Well, for one, it's nice to have the extra product of something that we are use and need anyway, but it is also a great way to see what's new out there! And best of all, it really is FUN! Okay...and addicting. Only one downside, SPAM and unnecessary newsletters required for the sample, but I have been able to unsubscribe successfully to those I don't want any longer. As for the spam, I would highly recommending setting up an email account just for your freebies, so you know which are actually coming from your freebies! (I didn't do this, but no matter, I'll survive...) I would not put your phone number in, either...unless you want sales people after you...if the sample requires it, ask yourself if the sample is worth it. Maybe it is.

I'm currently trying one "free" survey site that pays $$ per survey...I'll let you know how that goes as I have a feeling I'm not going to like the added 'stipulations' as I go along. Will keep you all posted.

My favorite website so far is http://www.mysavings.com/ because of their cool forum that lists the ups&downs of each sample and actually lists comments to show which ones are SPAM and which samples were actually sent out. It seems to be maintained often also.

Happy Hunting!

Back on track-

2008-08-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow bloggers...sounds better than Dear Diary, right?

I'm back on track with health issues actually much faster than I had expected, which I am very thankful for. It was only a few months, but it felt like years.

My family and I have been enjoying the outdoors and the nice weather in July, especially with 10 days up north at our place at the lake! We are addicted to our trailer and all of what a small lakeshore community offers. It has been a time of fun, peace and relaxation.

The only area that I feel I need to get back up to speed is my writing projects, which had been put on the back burner. I feel my novel calling me, and something about approaching Fall always has me itching to complete projects. I was a little discouraged at my lack of progress on revising my novel, but I think I'm ready to start tackling that.

I know it is a lack of motivation. I have plenty of excuses why I haven't been writing, but does it matter? If I really wanted to do it, I would! That's the bottom line.

Anyone else out there struggling with this?

In any case, I feel much better and enjoying life again and perfect timing for the summer and fall!

Well, I've rambled enough!

GOOD FRIDAY

2008-03-18T12:56:00.000-07:00

As Good Friday and Easter rapidly approaches, I find myself getting excited.

You see, I take time off from work and have a day just for me and my Lord on Good Friday, every year. I'm so looking forward to devotional and prayer time just with my Counselor and Mighty God, and then a little time for my writing, for much needed peace. I usually try to fast as well, and while I don't want to seem ready for a pat on the back, I just can't keep quiet about my enthusiasm for spending one-on-one time with my Savior.

I'm counting down the days and just wanted to share how enthusiastic I am about making time to concentrate on reading scripture and getting close with the Risen Lord and Savior! I can't wait...

And then in my bitty brain, I wonder why I need to wait until Friday?

The Thirteenth Tale By Diane Setterfield

2008-03-18T11:58:00.000-07:00

It's funny, but for some reason, I just haven't read a really good book in months until, "The Thirteenth Tale," by Diane Setterfield. I know I'm really late in reading this book, out in 2006!

What an an awe inspiring novel, a wonderfully written tale. As the story progresses, it invokes so many emotions. I found myself relating to the wonderful main characters and others as the plot of the story unfolded. So many questions unanswered throughout and when all were answered at the end, it was total satisfaction. This novel includes a hint of ghosts, misplaced identities, lives revolved around books, books and more books. I felt if it was a match made in heaven; I was one with the story.

The MC, Margaret Lea works in her father's book store and is haunted by an event in her past. One night Margaret receives a letter to visit the home of a famous author, Vida Winter, in England, to record her autobiography. Vida Winter, the author, tells her story between battling a terminal illness, layering stories within stories piquing the curiousity of Margaret and readers.

It is a must read, but one warning. Please make sure you have time to read this because you won't be able to set down this powerfully rewarding piece of literature.

ANXIETY, BE GONE!

2008-03-18T11:25:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow bloggers,

My last blog was about anxiety...yuck!

I am happy to say that I am on the road to recovery, and although I do have times of anxiousness (who doesn't?), I have not had any more panic attacks--Praise God!

I found on the Internet a website from an author who talked about the fact that we have control over panic attacks. Of course he has a book that I haven't ordered about ridding all anxiety. I'm not a big fan of easy answers. (I keep referring to the author as "he" and my apologies, but I don't recall his name) The one thing that he had mentioned on his site helped me. If anyone is interested, I'm sure I could find the web site...please email me. I have no idea if this guy knows his stuff or not, but some of what he mentions on his site helped me.

Control over panic attacks, no way I said to myself. Once your in one, it's uncontrollable, I say. But this author dared its readers to bring on a panic attack and said it wouldn't happen. What? Try to bring on an attack, are ya crazy? (maybe).

This is the thing. People who have panic attacks are VERY afraid of having another, and that (as I think I stated before) can create other panic attacks...now that is just ridiculous! But once the fear is taken out of the equation and that's exactly what happens when one tries to bring on his/her own panic attack, then according to the author, it won't happen. Without the fear, the attack doesn't occur. I'm thinking, yeah right. But I was desperate, so tried it when I was in an anxious state (not in an actual attack). I couldn't bring one on!

So how's it work if one has already started? I can still control it? Some seem to think so. Normally once I'm in a panic attack, I'm in it until it just goes away, or I've done something to help convince me that the fear is totally irrational (which is hard to do), but I've read where others believe that we can refuse to let our minds go through the constant loop of worry (the rapid heartbeat and the rest of the cycle that follows.)

I write this and still don't understand it, but I can tell you that after my worst attack, when I tried to make myself have another panic attack, I couldn't. When I started going through one a few days later, I refused to go down the road of worry/stress/panic, telling myself it wouldn't help to rehash this irrational fear. I'm done with it! If there is something constructive that I can accomplish, then do it; otherwise, let it go! I had to tell myself this off & on after I first noticed signs of an attack...clammy hands, rapid heatbeat, dizzy...

And to date, I haven't had another. This doesn't take away the root of my anxiety of course, and will it work for all of my panic attacks? I have no idea. I just know that this is one of the weirdest things that I've experienced in a long time.

God is good!

ANXIETY

2008-02-27T16:08:00.000-08:00

Anyone else out there experiencing anxiety?

It's one thing to be unmotivated during these winter months, but to then experience anxiety on top of what are classic signs of depression, I think I could lose my mind. I'm not talking worry. I'm talking anxiety (panic) attacks that hit out of the blue that take over whatever it is that I'm doing at that point in time. Whatever it is that I had the panic attack over (could be anything that has given me fear, whether it's rational or not) lasts as lingering anxiety until either it has been proven (and I do mean, proven) that my fear is totally irrational or that I have found a new problem to worry about. It is very disturbing. I try to let these things go, but just can't. I feel like I'm a pretty strong person and most times, I am, but when this anxiety takes over...it's debilitating.

What? Is this the same person who has strong belief in God? How can this be? Honestly I struggle with this. If I had all of this faith in God, why wouldn't I just give this to him? I simply don't know. Faithful critters know that I understand that it's normal to have faith and fear, and that I work hard to hand over my will to Him, but during the times of anxiousness, I can't let go of the fear until it runs out of steam. What creates it? What stops it? I don't know.

Have I been on meds before for this? Yes. I'm sure I blogged about it last year at this time. But the difference is that there was 'usually' a direct underlying cause to my anxiety...this is mostly irrational fear. I even wake up with these panic attacks and it is extremely frightening...heart races and there is this fear that I should be doing something or that I have forgotten to do something. I'll even get up out of bed prepared to rush off to fix the matter and then stand in the kitchen and wonder what the heck I'm doing there. One might diagnose this as a need for control or frustration over my lack of it.

What? Yeah, say it. She's crazy. That's what I think sometimes, too. I know it must be a chemical imbalance...you think? But the meds that one is put on for depression etc is just as bad, at times, as the anxiety. It creates other problems. I probably should have been put on something in the fall so that it wouldn't have gotten this bad in the winter months, which hit me the hardest.

People who know me usually don't have any idea this is happening to me, unless I tell them. I usually keep it to myself until I've worked through the anxiety for whatever reason. For the first time, I let my husband know more about how I feel when this happens. I usually go about the day and struggle with it on my own. Even admitting depression is easier than explaining to people how I feel when struggling with anxiety and panic attacks. I know others struggle with this, but at the time it's happening, it is very personal and even to talk about it with my family is almost impossible.

Who should I also be talking with? Jesus. I try. I try praying and making time for devotions. But during times of great anxiety, it's the only time I've ever not been able to communicate with my Redeemer. Even in the worst stresses of my life, I've been able to, but when I get these attacks, I can't focus on any one thing, including my faithful Counselor whom I know tries to break through the clutter and noise clunking around in my brain.

Then I think that if I could just see the sun! Michiganders (as of last week) only rec'd 14% of the possible sunlight for the month. My hubbie tells me this as I can't even swallow food at a restaurant because my throat has tightened for no apparent reason, oh wait, I was thinking about that worry that I had had a panic attack over a few days before. I've lost weight. I just can't eat at times when these episodes hit. The attack itself doesn't last long, but it's the lingering fear of another and the irrational possibilities that ramble through my head seem to go on and on that takes away what little appetite I had.

Again I say, what? I consider myself to be a fairly healthy person. I've been starting to exercise a little more...okay so I hadn't been. The weather has been so awful that I just want go from home to work, work to home and feel drained just doing that. So, I'm exaggerating here, and do more than that, but that's what it feels like. If I hadn't been eating fairly decent, I would definately be changing that, but I've been pretty good in trying to keep a balanced diet. That is until the anxiety increases for no unknown reason...I wonder if it's tied to hormones, and yes, estrogen make me anxious, but it isn't always linked to that.

Could you understand my scrambled thoughts? If you've got this far, treat yourself! I know I could re-do this, but wanted to keep it real.

So get on meds or not? That is the question. I will be praying on this issue. Please pray for me.

Got Snow?

2008-02-05T06:16:00.000-08:00

Last week was a tough week. It's tough to stay positive in the gloom and doom of winter in Michigan. But I really had to remember to be thankful for the things that we take for granted. Last week, I was certainly reminded of this.

Snow, ice, snow, rain, thunder...you name it, we had it last week. One never knew what the roads were really going to be like. One day it was ice and snow covered, other days, it was just snow, sometimes one could even see dry pavement.

On one of the worst driving days I've seen in a long time, I was very thankful that my car handled the ice and snow without any problems (of course I have 'some' experience driving in Michigan winters) ;) The big questions that morning were, was I going to stop at the intersection or how could I get through as many lights without stopping yet not running any red lights. Or avoid the moron who cut in front of me (yes, I actually leave a space between the other car in front of me) and fish tail either on the front or side of me. Yikes!

When I pulled into work driveway, I said a small prayer of thanks to God for getting me to work in one piece. Of course I didn't appear that I would be able to get my car back out of the driveway any time soon, but that was a problem for later.

I made me way through the snow and ice to unlock my work door. It was frozen shut. My key got stuck in the lock, and oh did I say that it was only about five degrees with wind chill of 10-15 below? My hands and feet are already freezing when I decide that 'no, I can't open the door.' I went next door and asked the guys if they could fix it. I think I could have used the word de-icer, but said, that stuff that unfreezes the door or something like that. Where had my intelligence gone, I wondered. But within ten minutes or so, I was inside. Again, another prayer of thanks.

Of course anyone who knows me will know what I did next...went straight for the thermostat to turn up the heat! My boss turns it down quite low so it's about 60 degrees when I walk in on a normal day. We've had issues before here with the furnace so when my eye caught the needle down past 50, I knew I was in for an even rougher day. I cranked up the heat to 80 to no avail.

I called next door (as we lease from that company) to have a repairman come out, knowing full well on this kind of day with high winds, below zero windchills and ice/snow that they wouldn't be out for a while. By afternoon a guy came in asking me what was wrong with the furnace...I had all I could do to remain calm. How do I know?

In any case, he went on to say that they wouldn't risk getting on the roof since that's the type of furnace it is. I nod my understanding, afraid of any unkind words slipping out. 'Please call me tomorrow to let me know when they planned on coming out,' I finally muttered. Oh wouldn't plan on anyone coming until the afternoon. Two days without heat? Well, okay no problem.

Needless to say, since I am intolerant to cold anyway, I had dressed in the warmest clothes I owned that would be acceptable to an office setting, even long underwear! I kept on my coat and clothes and thankfully had two heaters going, but it only kept the heat to about 54.

The heat was back on the following afternoon so all went well. We have had more snow and rain and thunder since then, and scary road moments, but I'm still here! Frozen, but here!

The bottom line to all of my rambling? I am reminded of how good I have it, and how I take for granted the little things that not only make my life more comfortable, but survivable. It's weird but that day helped to keep things in the right perspective. I thank God for all of his wonderful blessings!

But I need more work before I'll see all of this snow in a positive way...hey, I'm still working on it! ;) Oh and another snow advisory out for tonight and tomorrow...imagine that!

AND HOW WAS YOUR DAY??

Project completed!

2008-01-18T11:16:00.000-08:00

Whooppiee!! Project completed!

Such a little room, such a lotta work. The carpeting was replaced this morning. The bed delivered and setup at noon. Just need to get the personal things back in and figure out which pics to hang.

It looks so much different. Funny thing though, if you read my last post you know that I struggled a little too much (for me) to pick a color of paint for the walls. Well...I went with the paint that my hubbie liked since I couldn't make up my mind (out of the top five anyway ;)

Once he saw the room painted for the first time though, he didn't like the color. He said, "it looks pink." Oh good gravy. It's not anywhere near the pink hues. But with the fluorescent light bulb we had in there, by golly (I barely admitted), it did seem a pink tint to it. No problem it's only for a teenage boy...but after changing the bulb and getting the carpeting replaced, it looks more like the creamy beige we picked out. But still...there are times...when yes, it looks a pale pink. Shhh...don't tell my son...

And how was your day?? Now on to the living room...did I just write that? I must be insane!

On the lighter side of things

2008-01-13T10:32:00.000-08:00

On the subject of getting things done...

I finally got motivated and decided to re-do my son's bedroom...the poor boy has had teddy bears stenciled as a border and wall paper that has long needed to be replaced for long time. Sure I tried, really I did. I put baseball theme over the border that included banners, baseball items, and covered the carpeting with an area room that well, could be a boys color, but really isn't. He hangs out in our rec room downstairs so it really doesn't matter to him.

But he asked for a different bed because his bed was up higher as part of a sturdy desk, drawer and bed combo and getting down was not as easy because of his height and a ceiling fan, which is what started all of this. :)

So I spent a week getting all of his things out, how the walls hadn't collapsed from all of that stuff is a miracle. The bed came down yesterday and that was heavy, but thankfully my hubbie and son got it out into the garage until the Salvation Army picks it up. It is in good condition but decided it would be best to donate it. Next week the painter comes and then later in the week the room will be re-carpeted and then the new bed arrives. The hardest part?

Picking out the color. I like the fact that I can make good decisions quickly when necessary. Picked out a scrap of carpeting within five minutes. Two places looking at a bed and made the decision. The color? I had one picked out on the Benjamin-Moore site. Good. No problem. Then I got the wonderful idea to make sure that the brochure matched the color on line, to make sure. I went to the local hardware store for the sample. Unfortunately I found a bunch of them and then didn't like the one I picked out any longer, and had MANY others I liked. They were all so close that it wouldn't matter if I had picked any of them. Silly. I finally asked my hubbie to help pick out the top five. Okay, okay, ladies, I know what you're thinking, mistake. He didn't like it, but he actually picked out the one that I decided to go with. :)

So that had been decided and bed paid for, etc. The painter asks, "do you want the ceiling painted?" I told him that the ceiling was fine. That was until I actually looked at the ceiling. It still had those little glow-in-the-dark stars that have been up since my son was a little boy. I took them off and the glue from the back left discoloring of little dots. No problem, I'll just call the painter back and tell him to do the ceiling in an off-white.

Off-white. No problem, the painter said. Do you have the color of the Benjamin-Moore color? No, I said, can't you just pick one out? He laughed. OH no, he says, I don't think so. Darn. He suggested I pick out another color. I say his own words back, Oh no, I don't think so. How about white? I asked, and then continued, And don't even think about asking for a number.

And...how was your day?

GETTING THINGS DONE...

2008-01-12T18:59:00.000-08:00

Getting some things done...finally. It seems like forever since I had tried to organize anything around the house. There is always so much to do, but I must confess with all of the re-runs on TV, it's amazing how much more time there is to tidy up around the house. Hmmm...

I've been much more serious about my writing projects over the past year and over the past month, I've realized that I'm serious about revising my entire novel. I've had much help from a faithful Obi-wan and feedback from others at "The Notebored." I just can't say enough about joining a writing group if you're serious about starting and finishing a novel or any writing project for that matter. I like the Notebored because it has a little something for everyone.

I've been focusing on the basics/foundation over the past year, and I see a difference in the quality of my writing, and although I have a long way to go, I am really excited about it. Sure I've been progressing but I've always given myself an out to stop the process. That's what has changed for me. I've made up my mind that I'm taking it to the next level and becoming serious in at least completing a revised draft of my book, one way or the other.

But for some reason, my mind had been working over-time on worry. Although there were some work issues that helped play into this, it also ties in to my last posts of letting go, letting God. I think this has been a learning experience to draw closer to God. There have been too many things to call a coincidence. I really feel this is a test to hand over what I can't control to Him and draw closer to Him. Unfortunately I had been failing the test or maybe a better word is challenge. I would think about the problem over and over until I was either in full-fledged panic attack or at the very least very uncomfortable as my heart raced. Sure I'd pray but as I had stated in previous posts, it wasn't enough because I wasn't working at my relationship with God nor was I trusting Him. So I would try to stay busy to keep my mind off the problem that was bothering me, but I was still at a state of unrest. So what's changed?

When I feel insecure and start to worry in that dead-end loop (you know the one where you replay scenarios over and over with no end in sight), I tell myself to stop. And then I actually say quietly out loud, "Help me, Lord. I can't handle this. Please show me the way." Or depending upon the situation, "Lord, I can't control this. Let your will be done." Sounds so simple doesn't it? But it's not the words that are important, it's believing/trusting that God will actually help in any situation. I could pray to ask God to help me, but if I don't believe that he is in control and will show me the way, then the words mean nothing. Is this anything new? Nope, I know what I need to do, but the devil and my sinful nature lead me astray and once again I would struggle to find Jesus' hand along my daily walk. All we need to do is call out to him and reach with arms outstretched and He is there, even if the place seems too dark and far to make contact with our Creator.

More importantly, there are times when I feel dark forces at work...yes, I am lazy and choose not to do the things I need in order to remain close with God, but there are also times when Satan is at work leading me astray. It is a battle and we shouldn't forget that. When this happens, I say just a few words, but it works FAST. "Leave me, Satan." Sounds silly, I know, but it is amazing how quickly I find God's peace and comfort. If only I could be strong all of the time! But I am weak!

I pray for strength, wisdom and guidance to do God's will. Who is it that said to be careful what you pray for? I think God has been showing me the way, but I just didn't want to follow him either because I was too scared and disillusioned by evil and letting my weakness rule my spirit. I'm still not sure if God would say that I'm even close to where he wants me to be at this point. I go to my Lord and Savior asking forgiveness for my weakness and continue trying. It's all about faith and trust.

I wonder if I could get a tape recorder with this message plugged into my brain. I haven't seen one of those at Best Buy. Darn.

Proverbs 3:5-8
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones.

Interesting...

2008-01-08T12:24:00.000-08:00

Quotation #32964 from Michael Moncur's (Cynical) Quotations:

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. Robert FrostUS poet (1874 - 1963)

http://www.quotationspage.com/

LET GOD BE GOD!

2007-12-31T18:34:00.000-08:00

Hello Fellow Bloggers!!

I know it's been a while since I've posted...my laptop died a few months ago making my computer time hard to come by. But now I have a new one, praise God, so hopefully blogging will be a little easier.

I re-read my old blog from October (yes, way back in October), and found it continously applies to my everyday life. We cannot let our fears stop us from doing God's will! I have so many overwhelming fears that I, yes, even fear over having fears. How is that possible when I KNOW that God will be there for me, no matter what?

Over the past few months, I have struggled with these same issues. Afraid of this and that, these little fears threaten to consume me. When trying to do God's will, bumps and struggles are bound to happen and when they do, we each have a personal decision to make. Will we continue on the path that God wants us to travel or will we take the easy road that might seem to bring a safer, if not more comforting way.

And then for the first time in a long time after an upsetting situation unfolded a month ago, I found it hard to hear what the Holy Spirit had to say regarding this particular issue. I couldn't imagine living my life without the Spirit's guidance. I realized that I hadn't been in the Word like I should be. It should go hand in hand. I know this yet when I get baffled by something, I turn away from the very things that sustain me. Why is this?

I could blame it all on the evil one and wouldn't that be easy? But is that all there is to it? I don't think so. I think it's about letting fear get the best of me, little by little. Before I know it, I'm in a situation where I am weak and then yes, evil can worm its way into my heart, soul and mind, leading me astray, leading me away from God, his Word. While it's all right to admit that even as our faith grows, our fear is still a part of us, we cannot forget that we must keep up the basics of our faith to keep these same fears from overwhelming us to the point that we turn away from our God. This can be a gradual process and it takes an emotional experience to show that we might just not be right in our walk with the Lord.

We cannot be consumed by the "what-ifs" so that we let fear keep us from doing God's will. I really feel this is the message that God has been sending me over the past few months, and instead of digging deeper into the Word to listen to the Holy Spirit, I have been praying for easy answers that just weren't forthcoming. Imagine that.

Although God wants us to pray and I believe in the power of prayer, I feel he wants us to work at a personal relationship with Him. Key word being work. That means at a very minimum doing the right thing even though it's uncomfortable, grabbing ahold of Jesus' hand and dig into the Word to seek the Holy one's counsel, and receive a peace that only He can give.

Okay, I have brought this to my OWN attention once again, what am I going to do about it? First of all, I'm going to "LET GOD BE GOD!" Realize that I will be instructed to do God's will, BUT...he is in control of all situations... I do my part as instructed to the best of my ability, and HE does his. My pastor used this expression in a sermon when I felt most confused about the above mentioned issue. It is really so simple. Secondly, go to the Word! Seek out the message that God wants me to hear coming from Him. Then the Holy Spirit will show me the way! I cannot merely demand an answer without the proper understanding of his ways, his will.

Will this miracously cure all ills of the world, or even make my problems go away? No, but it will bring me one step closer to finding my way in this crazy world. One step closer to the place that God wants me to be at this point in my journey. Then and only then will I understand what to do in critical situations, and the smaller daily events of my life for fulfillment and joy.

This verse gives me great comfort and joy...

Romans 5:1-5
Peace and Joy 1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, wehave peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Ah, now don't you feel better? I know I do... ;)

SUMMER! REMEMBER THE SUN?

2007-12-31T18:27:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's me and my 14" bass! Why post a summer pic now? Well, I'm hoping to keep my spirits up during the sometimes dreary winter...especially when I look at the radar and see more snow coming!

Thank you Lord for all of your wonderful blessings!

Faith & Action~

2007-10-02T06:05:00.000-07:00

Hello Fellow Bloggers~

It seems that just as life seems to calm down a little there is always something that comes along to heighten a fear(s) that had been lurking all along. Has anyone else ever experienced this?

Sometimes I get discouraged because I want all lingering fears and the insecurity and doubts that go with them to disappear entirely, but that isn't the case, is it? We can push them aside, but then that bump in the road shows itself, and we are forced to reexamine them all over again. I think we can be hard on ourselves thinking that with faith we should completely be rid of our fears and try too hard to free ourselves. Maybe I'm wrong, but with the world the way it is today, I just don't see that it's entirely possible. We are sinners living in a sinful world with Satan lurking. Fear isn't always a bad thing. It should remind us that this world isn't about us.

That's exactly where our faith comes into play the most. We should confess, hand over our fears (as much as we can) to the Lord, realizing we are human and will still have all of these things that scare us, even with a deep faith. We can then rise above to do His will, and that's what makes overcoming struggles so encouraging, knowing that in our sinful bodies we can still enjoy our lives and accomplish the plan that God gives each of us, fears, sins & all!

So does something scare you? Admit the fear and ask God to help you push past it. I'm finding that the older I get, more and more frightens me, but I'm trying to remind myself that it's God who will comfort me and give me the peace I need to move forward. Am I always successful? Nope. I still sit back when I should act, but I am confident that God will use and mold me, no matter what. God is good!

Enjoy the Journey!

Are ya going crazy yet?

2007-09-05T05:25:00.000-07:00

Hello Fellow Bloggers!

The kiddies are in school and a routine is starting to emerge once again. If your experience is like mine, time sneaks up on you. One minute everything is moving at an even pace, and then whoosh, a big wind threatens to toss us into a week from Tuesday. Or maybe it's just me?

It's nice to get everything back to normal, whatever normal happens to be, but for some reason, I am caught off guard every Fall for what I know is coming. Silly, isn't it? It's not anything earth shattering, a few stops here and there to Target, the local dollor stores, Walgreens, and office stores, and of course school shopping, but I'm sure there are people who prepare for the insanity better than I do. With me, it's one day I have some free time and then I don't. No in between...no getting prepared...whammy, it just smacks me in the side of the head. Where did the day go?

Well, I might not be any more prepared today than I was seventeen years ago when my daughter first started school, but I have learned a few things a long the way to help ease the anxiety:

1. Know your limits. If you have children, Fall gets crazy fast, for many, without any warning, or for some, like myself, who are in denial until the last minute. Try not to take on more than absolutely necessary. Some can handle extra, fine. Go for it. Just as long as you know you can handle it with everything else that is in the schedule. Otherwise, there is a two letter word that many women still don't know how to use. What is it? "NO."

2. Don't panic. It all rushes on us like a big wave, but remember, for most of us, it's not our first time. We have done it before, we can do it again. If this is your first year, enjoy it. Keep a positive attitude and 'try' to find some humor when you have just purchased an expensive notebook that your child decides not to use--right away, they say, and know it will not be used. The worst part of this? You did the same thing the year before. Any more grays pop out?

3. Find an outlet of expression. This time is usually about everyone else but you...your thoughts and cares are pushed aside and it becomes your goal to make sure the family is situated between children starting school, getting physicals/dentist appts out of the way and then of course any other extracurricular activities and sports. Try to sneak time in for your devotions, prayer, other interests and hobbies...whatever they are. Get creative to find a few minutes here and there to remember your individuality. You can do it.

4. This is number four, but mark it number one. Because after all of the above, you'll need it. Remember to soak in the bathtub. I mean it. Don't laugh and say, 'yeah, right.' Do it. Come home and wash off the worries of the world. Put a nice soothing soy candle in the room with you with the light off...oh yeah, that is relaxation. Anyone asks something through the door, and you need the time to be alone, say just that. "I need some time. I'll be out in ten minutes." There, that wasn't too hard, was it? Ten minutes with epsom salts in your bathtub, and you'll be refreshed for whatever else comes your way. Well, almost. Oh and I have a glass of wine with mine, shh...don't tell anyone.

5. Try to remember you and spouse are a couple that still need to have a few minutes of alone time amongst the crazy schedules. A quick lunch alone, maybe? A massage? There are many ways to show support during this busy time. It makes everything so much easier when Mom & Dad are happy and getting along.

6. This one is the most important. Don't be too hard on yourself when you forget the above and freak out, lose your patience and stomp up & down because you bought the wrong color notebook or forgot to pay a bill or forgot to wash your son's special shirt. We all do it. It happens. I'm not all convinced it's a bad thing for our kids to see. We're not perfect, but we are thankful to our Lord that we have another day to work on it once again.

As always, somehow, someway, find joy in your journey! And I am reading my own list as a reminder as I struggle for my sanity. And reminding myself and other fellow bloggers that above all, God is good and will take care of all of us!

God bless!

Books, books and more books!

2007-08-02T07:21:00.000-07:00

Hello Fellow bloggers!

I know that it is common knowledge that there are local bookstore consignment shops that would love your books...but until noticing a cute little shop up north, I had forgotten about them.

For booklovers like myself, these shops are a place close to heaven. I wish I had all day just to explore all they have to offer. I brought in a 'few' books last fall to the above mentioned bookstore, and stopped by this summer to see if I had made 'big bucks' (really not expecting anything). I had made $13! Now, I know that sounds about as exciting as my 'big' article compensation, but that's keeping in mind that most books go for $3 there and my cut is 1/3. Not too shabby.

The reason I mention this is to remind all of the booklovers out there to look up their local bookstores! I love consignment shops regardless of the type because it is a win-win situation. I love the fact that my books are in the hands of others who care just as much about them as I do. And I have a little spending money for MORE BOOKS! ;)

I have also been checking out the local library's collection of used books for sale, knowing garage sales are even better, but those are tougher for me to get to. I can get a book for a buck. Of course, I also use the library, but found that I'm a little too lax about bringing books back...imagine that. The fees are usually higher, so I might as well buy the book, right? Then get my money back from the consignment shop!

Hey, there is logic there somewhere, I know there is! Okay, so if you are sane and can't see my logic, then will you appreciate the fun in it, like I do? Hmmm...my hubbie might not agree as he helps me carry the bags of books to the consignment shop! What a good guy!

And don't forget, somehow...someway...ENJOY THE JOURNEY!

Good News!

2007-07-27T07:40:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow bloggers~

On the way home from work yesterday, I was thinking about an article that I had submitted a few months ago to Everton's Genealogical Magazine. I had submitted a short fiction yesterday to Rosebud and it made me think of it. Well, when I got home, guess what was in the mail??

A contract! Of course the payment is small, but as I tried to explain to my son, it is the respect of having my writing published that matters to me...of course, it would be nice if it was $250 instead of $25...picky, picky.

Seriously, it has been almost two years since I've had anything published, esp since I have been concentrating on my novel, and I was beginning to feel frustrated. (okay, I was 'already' frustrated ;) It is a respectable magazine and I'm glad to be a part of it. This will make my third published article with them and already have plans for a fourth relating to the life of my unknown great-grandmother from New England area. I'm currently researching for it.

I am making progress with my novel as well. It was slow going. I was constantly getting battered that it was not up to par. As I have said before, I am currently working with an instructor from one of my writing groups and that has helped tremendously. I was missing some basic techniques that was really hindering my efforts. So I took some time to learn more, and am finally making seeing improvement. Of course, it will be ten years before it is probably ready for market, but hey, why not try?

Thanks for letting me share my good news!

God bless!

Azar Nafisi non-fiction: "Reading Lolita in Tehran"

2007-07-25T06:53:00.000-07:00

Hello Fellow Bloggers~

Just curious if anyone out there has read Nafisi's non-fiction, "Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books. I actually picked it up at used bookstore up north. I'm going to re-read it to fully appreciate everything the author is trying to tell us.

I enjoyed it tremendously and learned a lot, wondered if anyone else enjoyed it as much as I did, AND to highly recommend it, especially to the ladies (not to be sexist, of course.)

Although our country has big issues, after reading this book, I have a greater appreciation for the freedom we (esp women) have in America. It also has great information on literature interweaved. Beautifully written!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reading_Lolita_in_Tehran "The book narrates the personal and intellectual events of a private literature class Nafisi started in Tehran after leaving her teaching post at the University of Allameh Tabatabei. The class consisted of seven of her best female students, who met at Nafisi's house every Thursday morning from 1995 to 1997 to discuss forbidden works of Western literature.[2] In this private class, they also discussed the situation in Iran shortly after revolution (1978-1981)."

Whether you agree with the political viewpoints shared in this book, it is an enjoyable and informative read, and fellow writers will truly appreciate the literary excellence.

Click on above link if interested in more information on the book.

Would love to have this as part of a writing group, but that is very tough to do, esp with magnitude of the issues this book explores. If anyone is interested, please let me know.

Enjoy the journey!

-Lisa

ANTICIPATION~

2007-07-15T17:36:00.000-07:00

The Box
I stare out the front picture window and see really big snowflakes coming down from the sky. I want to make a snowman. My hands and chin are propped on the windowsill. I look at the clock on the wall, and the hand isn’t moving at all. I know it’s not because I’ve been staring at it, and if the hand is moving, it isn’t moving fast enough. I felt like this on my last birthday when I turned eight years old.

My eyes look at the street in front of my house. Where are they? This isn’t good. Not good at all. Suddenly, I see a car coming down the road. This must be the one. No, no, no! Not the neighbor’s big old truck. I think it’s ugly.

I press my face up against the cold window and try to look down the road further when finally, I see glaring car lights approaching through the falling snow. Please, please, please…be the right one. Yea they’re here, I say to myself as I jump up and down. “They’re here,” I yell.

I race to the door as fast as my legs can carry me and run right into my two brothers who must have heard me. I glare at them, and then continue running to the door.

My tummy starts to rumble and tumble, like it does when I have to say something in front of the whole class at school. I fling open the door just in time to see it. The box. It’s the biggest box I’ve ever seen. It must be 100 feet tall. It’s even bigger than last year! I don’t think my Grandpa can carry it, but he does. He is strong. He grins when he drops this box down at my feet. My face feels warm. I know what’s in that box. Can you guess what’s in there? Extra water fills my mouth as I think about it.

Okay, I’ll tell ya. There are millions and millions of goodies. Gooey cookies like chocolate chip, oatmeal and raisin, peanut butter and chocolate fudge with nuts in it, and every kind of sugar snack you can think of. My brothers and I scoot down in front of the box after it has been placed on a nearby chair.

My mouth hits the floor, and I quickly close it because spit starts to fall out from smelling Grandma’s cookies. I just want one. I yank on my Mom’s apron. She says no. Each little goodie has its on box, whether it’s a shoebox or a Tupperware. I lift one of the lids as I look over my shoulder for Mom or Dad, but no one is watching.

Daddy and Grandpa are still bringing presents in from Grandpa’s truck, and Mommy sighs. My brothers are putting the presents under the tree. They hold and shake presents as they laugh and try to guess what they are.

Smiling, I open the lid of one of the little boxes, and inside are the best looking cookies in the whole, wide world. I grab one of the frosted sugar cookies, and take a big bite. Crumbs fall to the floor. Oh sorry. Do you want one?

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Written by Lisa Braendle

##

I wrote this a while back. It brought back powerful, happy memories, and hope it makes you smile. As I revised it (again), I wondered how happy God would be if we were in this much anticipation for our Lord's return. Just something to think about.

Coincidence?

2007-07-04T17:50:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note,

My hubbie got up to get coffee and donuts this morning and realized when he pulled into our driveway with smoke coming out of the hood of the truck; the alternator was fried. Not a good thing on any day, for sure, but the only thing I could think of right away was the fact that the truck could have had problems last weekend when our son was driving up to Ludington or worse when we were traveling to or from New York! So while it's not fun to deal with car repairs, I am thankful that it was today and not on any of those days.

Coincidence?

Family Time~

2007-07-04T17:24:00.000-07:00

Well, my family and I got back a week or so ago from a long weekend to celebrate our son’s 16th b-day. While I would love to show you a few pics that we took, I have no idea how to upload.

We took our son to Cooperstown NY to see the Baseball Hall of Fame Museum, and on the way, we stopped to see Niagara Falls, Canada. We had only planned to stay for lunch there, but ended up staying the whole afternoon. Wow! I wish we could have stayed the night there to see the colors of Niagara Falls at night. We just didn’t expect to have been blown away by the natural beauty there.

We had lunch on the second level deck of a nice restaurant, which overlooked the falls. The ambiance of the whole town fascinated us; a nice balance between yesterday and today. As I gazed upon the falls rushing down on both the American and Canadian side, I wondered how anyone could dismiss God. It is usually when I witness something so spectacular that I reaffirm my faith in our Maker, like the miracle of birth.

As the Maid of the Mist tour boat inched closer to the falls, I was transformed from tourist to Child of God, one of awe of the beauty of something so natural, so full of life. The only thing that took away from this was the view of a surrounding large lighted Casino sign. The place is a part of an ever-changing world, so while we enjoyed lunch at an updated restaurant that seemed to fit the atmosphere, the commercialism of glitsy signs and tourist shops reminded and annoyed me of the pushiness of today. Silly, I suppose to look at it that way, but it’s how I felt.

Then we went on to our original destination of Cooperstown, which did not disappoint. The green mountain countryside overwhelmed us Michiganders. The small historical town with its taste of something great and slower pace pleased us as if we were stepping back through time to the very place where dreams had originated. That was until we got our bill for souvenirs and lunch. We were pulled back to reality once again, but the lingering wonder of the little baseball town will stay with us for a long time.

The best part of our mini-vacation was having fun as a family and enjoying the company of our 16 yr old son, who loved it as much as we did and genuinely appreciated his birthday present.

Of course, the highlight for me was my picture being taken beside Cal Ripkin Jr.-my favorite baseball player, who is being inducted into the Hall of Fame this month. Okay, okay…so it was only me standing by one of his pictures there. Hey…I’ll take what I can get.

What’s next? A long, relaxing trip up north to the RV by the Lake... in just one week! Yippee!! Mini-vacations out of state are fun, but tiring…our vacation up north will be eating good and being lazy…ah, I can’t wait. Now if we can get our truck's alternator fixed by then, we'll be in good shape. Just so you know that I'm not on cloud 9. :)

Hope all is well with all of you! Have a safe and fun summer!

Thank you sweet Jesus for giving me life, so that I might enjoy life here and life with you, forever & ever. Amen.

Relationships

2007-07-03T15:05:00.000-07:00

Hello there,

Today, I thought I would share with you my appreciation for all of the important people in my life. It's amazing when I think of all of the support that I have from God, family and friends.

My relationship with Jesus is top priority, but finding the proper balance between all of the special people in my life while wearing many different hats has made maintaining important relationships challenging. But thankfully by listening to the Holy Spirit, I am more successful making time for meaningful friendships. It isn't easy, but well worth it.

I don’t know what I would do without special people in my life. When I need anything, it seems that I have someone I can go to, of course depending upon the circumstances. It’s interesting when I think about the relationships that I have now and had over the years. These people whom I call my friends know me. They accept me for who I am. No faking. No pressure. Just true friendship from people, who all, I might add, have different personalities. I think it’s true that certain friends have one or two characteristics in common, but all have special qualities that are unique, which make my life so much more enjoyable and interesting.

Thank you to all of you representing these special relationships/friendships, for all of your encouragement and support of my family and me. Sometimes it’s by way of a phone call/e-mail, card or lunch that does the trick. At other times, it’s your prayers that sustain me to stay positive amongst a negative world, and/or maybe it’s your laughter that reminds of the joy in my life, even when I don’t feel like laughing.

Really this is just the tip of the iceberg of the many ways that special people in my life, from my spouse and children to my parents and other family members to my close friends and on-line acquaintances, that have been unexpectedly fulfilling and pleasurable…you know who you are.

So even though it takes work sometimes to maintain relationships, it is important to keep the lines of communication open to ensure health and longevity. Some friendships come & go, but the ones that last, take some work and will be precious for years to come.

Have you encouraged anyone today?

COMING OUT OF THE DARK

2007-06-07T05:54:00.000-07:00

Hello, Blogger Friends and Family!

I know it's been a while since I last posted, but I am slowly coming out of darkness.

Most of you know that I have been struggling with depression since my hubbie went out on the road truck driving a couple years ago. Thankfully a few months ago, he found new work just 15 miles from our house! What a blessing. It is hard work since this is a very busy time for the business, but he is doing great. I am proud of him.

It's like coming out of a gloomy cave. The winter months were especially tough, but God is good, and we see the light and it feels good! I have started exercising and eating better. It's amazing how quickly the body suffers from depression as well. I am off my medication now and my body and mind is healing.

It's weird. The medication is good for depression (in most cases) and some of the symptoms, but it is very hard on the body--rough on the liver and kidneys. When I stopped the medication after a few weeks, my body bounced back to life, like some weight has been lifted from my shoulders that I didn't even realize was there. I don't know all of the medical explanations, I just know that I feel lighter. Of course shedding a few pounds in the process helps!

Lisa's tip of the day: Need a few inches off in time for that pool party or day at the beach? Head to your local health place for body wraps. Remember those? Please treat yourself! Plan on doing at least two or three before you see a big difference. Please make sure to drink lots of water and eat balanced diet as you detox to help rid yourself of those nasty little toxins! You'll be so glad you did! Leave the sugar and eat more vegies! (My reminder as well!)

Remember in our times of trial, God will not desert us!

TIME FLIES...

2007-04-16T12:10:00.000-07:00

I can't believe 1 1/2 months has gone by since I last blogged. Where does the time go? What have I been up to?

The good news is that I have been working one-on-one with an experienced writer from the writing group I belong to. We are going step-by-step through my novel, which is really helping me. I had been trying to revise it on my own...that did not work. Then, as part of this same group, I was posting it as part of a workshop, but I could not figure out what to keep v. what to revise. It was very overwhelming and I almost gave up. If it had not been for the workshop and the help, I would have walked away from the project. It was just too frustrating...how many times could I bump my head against the wall without seeing any progress?

This reminds me of my daughter and her frustrations with her goals and college. It is tough trying to find our way, is it not? What is important and what isn't?

Sometimes, we need to work hard to obtain important goals, but could we be making it harder because we are not going to God with our questions? Example of questions, we all have asked. (Not in any prioritized order...)

1. What type of work should I be doing?
2. Where should I attend college? What program should I work toward?
3. Should I attend college or trying to find full-time employment straight from high school?
4. What type of person should I marry? What qualities are important to me? Who should I be with for the rest of my life?
5. Should my spouse and I have children? If so, how many?
6. After baby has been born, should both parents work outside the home?
7. Where should I live? House, apartment?
8. Should I attend church?
9. What religion should I be a part of? Where should I attend church? Once a member, should I help? If so, what should I do?
10. Do I need to support my community? If so, how?
11. What other activities/hobbies will fill what little extra time I have?
12. How do I prioritize and balance everything that I want to accomplish?

Just to name a few!

Whew! How do we make the right decisions? That is where the Holy Spirit and our relationship with Jesus really becomes a big factor. Sometimes we bump our heads against imaginery walls on things that maybe we aren't meant to do. How do we know which path to follow? By communicating with our Creator! He is the only one who knows what we should and should not be doing. Easy? No way.

Confused? Yeah I am, too, at times. When I really need guidance, instead of picking up a book, I go to the Lord in prayer, and he has NEVER let me down.

So what are you waiting for?

I am weak

2007-02-28T15:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I feel like such a wimp. It's embarrassing. When am I going to learn that God will make sure that I'm taken care of?

I worry. I complain. And more importantly, I don't fully appreciate all of the goodness that God has shown me and my family. Shame on me.

I pray. I cry. And then, I worry some more.

God must be so disappointed. He gives me the tools, which I use on a daily basis, but there are those times. Those times when something goes wrong, or when things don't go my way, I'm wishy-washy.

I pray some more and expect God to miraculous make me feel better. Where's my faith? I know He will take care of me and my family yet...wild thoughts take over, and I am weak. Weak when I could be strong. Why can't I quiet my mind?

Sure, my faith is strong when things go well (my way), but what about in the face of adversity?

Growth. Growing in my faith. That's what I want, but when I want strength the most, sometimes...sometimes, I falter.

My soul whimpers and whithers, and I forget that my personal Lord & Savior is right there with me. When I come to my senses, I lower my head and look down at my feet.

How do I get past insecurities and weakness? By going to the Lord, of course! Our God is a forgiving and loving God! It's never too late to call on the Lord for strength and reassurance! He will not let me down. He never has.

Growing? Yes, I'm growing. But it's a gradual process. I'm working on it, walking hand in hand with my Lord.