Lisa's Writing Projects and Thoughts on Life

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE OF THINGS: FREEBIES!!

2008-10-28T08:08:00.001-07:00

Okay, so what have I been doing??

Searching for freebies! Has the economy been a factor for you? It surely has been for our family. So every penny counts now...how about for you?

So...I've been searching hi & lo for the best freebie sites, which I will be adding slowly to this site as I come across them. I've tried the 'so-called' freebies and surveys, and sure enough I've spotted 'loopholes', the true cost for the item in the midst of filling out question after question to get the so-called "free" item. Although the sites I list will have some of these listed on the sites, you should be able to spot them right away when they ask for any kind of 'participation' clause at the beginning and usually the bigger the item, the greater the participation, as one would assume. Try one and see if you want to put the time, energy and cost into this sample and then you'll know whether it's worth it for you...quite frankly I didn't find a sample I felt was worth all of the questions and requirements, but to each his own.

I've ordered many samples over the past month and they are slowly but surely coming in! Why samples? Well, for one, it's nice to have the extra product of something that we are use and need anyway, but it is also a great way to see what's new out there! And best of all, it really is FUN! Okay...and addicting. Only one downside, SPAM and unnecessary newsletters required for the sample, but I have been able to unsubscribe successfully to those I don't want any longer. As for the spam, I would highly recommending setting up an email account just for your freebies, so you know which are actually coming from your freebies! (I didn't do this, but no matter, I'll survive...) I would not put your phone number in, either...unless you want sales people after you...if the sample requires it, ask yourself if the sample is worth it. Maybe it is.

I'm currently trying one "free" survey site that pays $$ per survey...I'll let you know how that goes as I have a feeling I'm not going to like the added 'stipulations' as I go along. Will keep you all posted.

My favorite website so far is http://www.mysavings.com/ because of their cool forum that lists the ups&downs of each sample and actually lists comments to show which ones are SPAM and which samples were actually sent out. It seems to be maintained often also.

Happy Hunting!

Back on track-

2008-08-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow bloggers...sounds better than Dear Diary, right?

I'm back on track with health issues actually much faster than I had expected, which I am very thankful for. It was only a few months, but it felt like years.

My family and I have been enjoying the outdoors and the nice weather in July, especially with 10 days up north at our place at the lake! We are addicted to our trailer and all of what a small lakeshore community offers. It has been a time of fun, peace and relaxation.

The only area that I feel I need to get back up to speed is my writing projects, which had been put on the back burner. I feel my novel calling me, and something about approaching Fall always has me itching to complete projects. I was a little discouraged at my lack of progress on revising my novel, but I think I'm ready to start tackling that.

I know it is a lack of motivation. I have plenty of excuses why I haven't been writing, but does it matter? If I really wanted to do it, I would! That's the bottom line.

Anyone else out there struggling with this?

In any case, I feel much better and enjoying life again and perfect timing for the summer and fall!

Well, I've rambled enough!

GOOD FRIDAY

2008-03-18T12:56:00.000-07:00

As Good Friday and Easter rapidly approaches, I find myself getting excited.

You see, I take time off from work and have a day just for me and my Lord on Good Friday, every year. I'm so looking forward to devotional and prayer time just with my Counselor and Mighty God, and then a little time for my writing, for much needed peace. I usually try to fast as well, and while I don't want to seem ready for a pat on the back, I just can't keep quiet about my enthusiasm for spending one-on-one time with my Savior.

I'm counting down the days and just wanted to share how enthusiastic I am about making time to concentrate on reading scripture and getting close with the Risen Lord and Savior! I can't wait...

And then in my bitty brain, I wonder why I need to wait until Friday?

The Thirteenth Tale By Diane Setterfield

2008-03-18T11:58:00.000-07:00

It's funny, but for some reason, I just haven't read a really good book in months until, "The Thirteenth Tale," by Diane Setterfield. I know I'm really late in reading this book, out in 2006!

What an an awe inspiring novel, a wonderfully written tale. As the story progresses, it invokes so many emotions. I found myself relating to the wonderful main characters and others as the plot of the story unfolded. So many questions unanswered throughout and when all were answered at the end, it was total satisfaction. This novel includes a hint of ghosts, misplaced identities, lives revolved around books, books and more books. I felt if it was a match made in heaven; I was one with the story.

The MC, Margaret Lea works in her father's book store and is haunted by an event in her past. One night Margaret receives a letter to visit the home of a famous author, Vida Winter, in England, to record her autobiography. Vida Winter, the author, tells her story between battling a terminal illness, layering stories within stories piquing the curiousity of Margaret and readers.

It is a must read, but one warning. Please make sure you have time to read this because you won't be able to set down this powerfully rewarding piece of literature.

ANXIETY, BE GONE!

2008-03-18T11:25:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow bloggers,

My last blog was about anxiety...yuck!

I am happy to say that I am on the road to recovery, and although I do have times of anxiousness (who doesn't?), I have not had any more panic attacks--Praise God!

I found on the Internet a website from an author who talked about the fact that we have control over panic attacks. Of course he has a book that I haven't ordered about ridding all anxiety. I'm not a big fan of easy answers. (I keep referring to the author as "he" and my apologies, but I don't recall his name) The one thing that he had mentioned on his site helped me. If anyone is interested, I'm sure I could find the web site...please email me. I have no idea if this guy knows his stuff or not, but some of what he mentions on his site helped me.

Control over panic attacks, no way I said to myself. Once your in one, it's uncontrollable, I say. But this author dared its readers to bring on a panic attack and said it wouldn't happen. What? Try to bring on an attack, are ya crazy? (maybe).

This is the thing. People who have panic attacks are VERY afraid of having another, and that (as I think I stated before) can create other panic attacks...now that is just ridiculous! But once the fear is taken out of the equation and that's exactly what happens when one tries to bring on his/her own panic attack, then according to the author, it won't happen. Without the fear, the attack doesn't occur. I'm thinking, yeah right. But I was desperate, so tried it when I was in an anxious state (not in an actual attack). I couldn't bring one on!

So how's it work if one has already started? I can still control it? Some seem to think so. Normally once I'm in a panic attack, I'm in it until it just goes away, or I've done something to help convince me that the fear is totally irrational (which is hard to do), but I've read where others believe that we can refuse to let our minds go through the constant loop of worry (the rapid heartbeat and the rest of the cycle that follows.)

I write this and still don't understand it, but I can tell you that after my worst attack, when I tried to make myself have another panic attack, I couldn't. When I started going through one a few days later, I refused to go down the road of worry/stress/panic, telling myself it wouldn't help to rehash this irrational fear. I'm done with it! If there is something constructive that I can accomplish, then do it; otherwise, let it go! I had to tell myself this off & on after I first noticed signs of an attack...clammy hands, rapid heatbeat, dizzy...

And to date, I haven't had another. This doesn't take away the root of my anxiety of course, and will it work for all of my panic attacks? I have no idea. I just know that this is one of the weirdest things that I've experienced in a long time.

God is good!

ANXIETY

2008-02-27T16:08:00.000-08:00

Anyone else out there experiencing anxiety?

It's one thing to be unmotivated during these winter months, but to then experience anxiety on top of what are classic signs of depression, I think I could lose my mind. I'm not talking worry. I'm talking anxiety (panic) attacks that hit out of the blue that take over whatever it is that I'm doing at that point in time. Whatever it is that I had the panic attack over (could be anything that has given me fear, whether it's rational or not) lasts as lingering anxiety until either it has been proven (and I do mean, proven) that my fear is totally irrational or that I have found a new problem to worry about. It is very disturbing. I try to let these things go, but just can't. I feel like I'm a pretty strong person and most times, I am, but when this anxiety takes over...it's debilitating.

What? Is this the same person who has strong belief in God? How can this be? Honestly I struggle with this. If I had all of this faith in God, why wouldn't I just give this to him? I simply don't know. Faithful critters know that I understand that it's normal to have faith and fear, and that I work hard to hand over my will to Him, but during the times of anxiousness, I can't let go of the fear until it runs out of steam. What creates it? What stops it? I don't know.

Have I been on meds before for this? Yes. I'm sure I blogged about it last year at this time. But the difference is that there was 'usually' a direct underlying cause to my anxiety...this is mostly irrational fear. I even wake up with these panic attacks and it is extremely frightening...heart races and there is this fear that I should be doing something or that I have forgotten to do something. I'll even get up out of bed prepared to rush off to fix the matter and then stand in the kitchen and wonder what the heck I'm doing there. One might diagnose this as a need for control or frustration over my lack of it.

What? Yeah, say it. She's crazy. That's what I think sometimes, too. I know it must be a chemical imbalance...you think? But the meds that one is put on for depression etc is just as bad, at times, as the anxiety. It creates other problems. I probably should have been put on something in the fall so that it wouldn't have gotten this bad in the winter months, which hit me the hardest.

People who know me usually don't have any idea this is happening to me, unless I tell them. I usually keep it to myself until I've worked through the anxiety for whatever reason. For the first time, I let my husband know more about how I feel when this happens. I usually go about the day and struggle with it on my own. Even admitting depression is easier than explaining to people how I feel when struggling with anxiety and panic attacks. I know others struggle with this, but at the time it's happening, it is very personal and even to talk about it with my family is almost impossible.

Who should I also be talking with? Jesus. I try. I try praying and making time for devotions. But during times of great anxiety, it's the only time I've ever not been able to communicate with my Redeemer. Even in the worst stresses of my life, I've been able to, but when I get these attacks, I can't focus on any one thing, including my faithful Counselor whom I know tries to break through the clutter and noise clunking around in my brain.

Then I think that if I could just see the sun! Michiganders (as of last week) only rec'd 14% of the possible sunlight for the month. My hubbie tells me this as I can't even swallow food at a restaurant because my throat has tightened for no apparent reason, oh wait, I was thinking about that worry that I had had a panic attack over a few days before. I've lost weight. I just can't eat at times when these episodes hit. The attack itself doesn't last long, but it's the lingering fear of another and the irrational possibilities that ramble through my head seem to go on and on that takes away what little appetite I had.

Again I say, what? I consider myself to be a fairly healthy person. I've been starting to exercise a little more...okay so I hadn't been. The weather has been so awful that I just want go from home to work, work to home and feel drained just doing that. So, I'm exaggerating here, and do more than that, but that's what it feels like. If I hadn't been eating fairly decent, I would definately be changing that, but I've been pretty good in trying to keep a balanced diet. That is until the anxiety increases for no unknown reason...I wonder if it's tied to hormones, and yes, estrogen make me anxious, but it isn't always linked to that.

Could you understand my scrambled thoughts? If you've got this far, treat yourself! I know I could re-do this, but wanted to keep it real.

So get on meds or not? That is the question. I will be praying on this issue. Please pray for me.

Got Snow?

2008-02-05T06:16:00.000-08:00

Last week was a tough week. It's tough to stay positive in the gloom and doom of winter in Michigan. But I really had to remember to be thankful for the things that we take for granted. Last week, I was certainly reminded of this.

Snow, ice, snow, rain, thunder...you name it, we had it last week. One never knew what the roads were really going to be like. One day it was ice and snow covered, other days, it was just snow, sometimes one could even see dry pavement.

On one of the worst driving days I've seen in a long time, I was very thankful that my car handled the ice and snow without any problems (of course I have 'some' experience driving in Michigan winters) ;) The big questions that morning were, was I going to stop at the intersection or how could I get through as many lights without stopping yet not running any red lights. Or avoid the moron who cut in front of me (yes, I actually leave a space between the other car in front of me) and fish tail either on the front or side of me. Yikes!

When I pulled into work driveway, I said a small prayer of thanks to God for getting me to work in one piece. Of course I didn't appear that I would be able to get my car back out of the driveway any time soon, but that was a problem for later.

I made me way through the snow and ice to unlock my work door. It was frozen shut. My key got stuck in the lock, and oh did I say that it was only about five degrees with wind chill of 10-15 below? My hands and feet are already freezing when I decide that 'no, I can't open the door.' I went next door and asked the guys if they could fix it. I think I could have used the word de-icer, but said, that stuff that unfreezes the door or something like that. Where had my intelligence gone, I wondered. But within ten minutes or so, I was inside. Again, another prayer of thanks.

Of course anyone who knows me will know what I did next...went straight for the thermostat to turn up the heat! My boss turns it down quite low so it's about 60 degrees when I walk in on a normal day. We've had issues before here with the furnace so when my eye caught the needle down past 50, I knew I was in for an even rougher day. I cranked up the heat to 80 to no avail.

I called next door (as we lease from that company) to have a repairman come out, knowing full well on this kind of day with high winds, below zero windchills and ice/snow that they wouldn't be out for a while. By afternoon a guy came in asking me what was wrong with the furnace...I had all I could do to remain calm. How do I know?

In any case, he went on to say that they wouldn't risk getting on the roof since that's the type of furnace it is. I nod my understanding, afraid of any unkind words slipping out. 'Please call me tomorrow to let me know when they planned on coming out,' I finally muttered. Oh wouldn't plan on anyone coming until the afternoon. Two days without heat? Well, okay no problem.

Needless to say, since I am intolerant to cold anyway, I had dressed in the warmest clothes I owned that would be acceptable to an office setting, even long underwear! I kept on my coat and clothes and thankfully had two heaters going, but it only kept the heat to about 54.

The heat was back on the following afternoon so all went well. We have had more snow and rain and thunder since then, and scary road moments, but I'm still here! Frozen, but here!

The bottom line to all of my rambling? I am reminded of how good I have it, and how I take for granted the little things that not only make my life more comfortable, but survivable. It's weird but that day helped to keep things in the right perspective. I thank God for all of his wonderful blessings!

But I need more work before I'll see all of this snow in a positive way...hey, I'm still working on it! ;) Oh and another snow advisory out for tonight and tomorrow...imagine that!

AND HOW WAS YOUR DAY??

Project completed!

2008-01-18T11:16:00.000-08:00

Whooppiee!! Project completed!

Such a little room, such a lotta work. The carpeting was replaced this morning. The bed delivered and setup at noon. Just need to get the personal things back in and figure out which pics to hang.

It looks so much different. Funny thing though, if you read my last post you know that I struggled a little too much (for me) to pick a color of paint for the walls. Well...I went with the paint that my hubbie liked since I couldn't make up my mind (out of the top five anyway ;)

Once he saw the room painted for the first time though, he didn't like the color. He said, "it looks pink." Oh good gravy. It's not anywhere near the pink hues. But with the fluorescent light bulb we had in there, by golly (I barely admitted), it did seem a pink tint to it. No problem it's only for a teenage boy...but after changing the bulb and getting the carpeting replaced, it looks more like the creamy beige we picked out. But still...there are times...when yes, it looks a pale pink. Shhh...don't tell my son...

And how was your day?? Now on to the living room...did I just write that? I must be insane!

On the lighter side of things

2008-01-13T10:32:00.000-08:00

On the subject of getting things done...

I finally got motivated and decided to re-do my son's bedroom...the poor boy has had teddy bears stenciled as a border and wall paper that has long needed to be replaced for long time. Sure I tried, really I did. I put baseball theme over the border that included banners, baseball items, and covered the carpeting with an area room that well, could be a boys color, but really isn't. He hangs out in our rec room downstairs so it really doesn't matter to him.

But he asked for a different bed because his bed was up higher as part of a sturdy desk, drawer and bed combo and getting down was not as easy because of his height and a ceiling fan, which is what started all of this. :)

So I spent a week getting all of his things out, how the walls hadn't collapsed from all of that stuff is a miracle. The bed came down yesterday and that was heavy, but thankfully my hubbie and son got it out into the garage until the Salvation Army picks it up. It is in good condition but decided it would be best to donate it. Next week the painter comes and then later in the week the room will be re-carpeted and then the new bed arrives. The hardest part?

Picking out the color. I like the fact that I can make good decisions quickly when necessary. Picked out a scrap of carpeting within five minutes. Two places looking at a bed and made the decision. The color? I had one picked out on the Benjamin-Moore site. Good. No problem. Then I got the wonderful idea to make sure that the brochure matched the color on line, to make sure. I went to the local hardware store for the sample. Unfortunately I found a bunch of them and then didn't like the one I picked out any longer, and had MANY others I liked. They were all so close that it wouldn't matter if I had picked any of them. Silly. I finally asked my hubbie to help pick out the top five. Okay, okay, ladies, I know what you're thinking, mistake. He didn't like it, but he actually picked out the one that I decided to go with. :)

So that had been decided and bed paid for, etc. The painter asks, "do you want the ceiling painted?" I told him that the ceiling was fine. That was until I actually looked at the ceiling. It still had those little glow-in-the-dark stars that have been up since my son was a little boy. I took them off and the glue from the back left discoloring of little dots. No problem, I'll just call the painter back and tell him to do the ceiling in an off-white.

Off-white. No problem, the painter said. Do you have the color of the Benjamin-Moore color? No, I said, can't you just pick one out? He laughed. OH no, he says, I don't think so. Darn. He suggested I pick out another color. I say his own words back, Oh no, I don't think so. How about white? I asked, and then continued, And don't even think about asking for a number.

And...how was your day?

GETTING THINGS DONE...

2008-01-12T18:59:00.000-08:00

Getting some things done...finally. It seems like forever since I had tried to organize anything around the house. There is always so much to do, but I must confess with all of the re-runs on TV, it's amazing how much more time there is to tidy up around the house. Hmmm...

I've been much more serious about my writing projects over the past year and over the past month, I've realized that I'm serious about revising my entire novel. I've had much help from a faithful Obi-wan and feedback from others at "The Notebored." I just can't say enough about joining a writing group if you're serious about starting and finishing a novel or any writing project for that matter. I like the Notebored because it has a little something for everyone.

I've been focusing on the basics/foundation over the past year, and I see a difference in the quality of my writing, and although I have a long way to go, I am really excited about it. Sure I've been progressing but I've always given myself an out to stop the process. That's what has changed for me. I've made up my mind that I'm taking it to the next level and becoming serious in at least completing a revised draft of my book, one way or the other.

But for some reason, my mind had been working over-time on worry. Although there were some work issues that helped play into this, it also ties in to my last posts of letting go, letting God. I think this has been a learning experience to draw closer to God. There have been too many things to call a coincidence. I really feel this is a test to hand over what I can't control to Him and draw closer to Him. Unfortunately I had been failing the test or maybe a better word is challenge. I would think about the problem over and over until I was either in full-fledged panic attack or at the very least very uncomfortable as my heart raced. Sure I'd pray but as I had stated in previous posts, it wasn't enough because I wasn't working at my relationship with God nor was I trusting Him. So I would try to stay busy to keep my mind off the problem that was bothering me, but I was still at a state of unrest. So what's changed?

When I feel insecure and start to worry in that dead-end loop (you know the one where you replay scenarios over and over with no end in sight), I tell myself to stop. And then I actually say quietly out loud, "Help me, Lord. I can't handle this. Please show me the way." Or depending upon the situation, "Lord, I can't control this. Let your will be done." Sounds so simple doesn't it? But it's not the words that are important, it's believing/trusting that God will actually help in any situation. I could pray to ask God to help me, but if I don't believe that he is in control and will show me the way, then the words mean nothing. Is this anything new? Nope, I know what I need to do, but the devil and my sinful nature lead me astray and once again I would struggle to find Jesus' hand along my daily walk. All we need to do is call out to him and reach with arms outstretched and He is there, even if the place seems too dark and far to make contact with our Creator.

More importantly, there are times when I feel dark forces at work...yes, I am lazy and choose not to do the things I need in order to remain close with God, but there are also times when Satan is at work leading me astray. It is a battle and we shouldn't forget that. When this happens, I say just a few words, but it works FAST. "Leave me, Satan." Sounds silly, I know, but it is amazing how quickly I find God's peace and comfort. If only I could be strong all of the time! But I am weak!

I pray for strength, wisdom and guidance to do God's will. Who is it that said to be careful what you pray for? I think God has been showing me the way, but I just didn't want to follow him either because I was too scared and disillusioned by evil and letting my weakness rule my spirit. I'm still not sure if God would say that I'm even close to where he wants me to be at this point. I go to my Lord and Savior asking forgiveness for my weakness and continue trying. It's all about faith and trust.

I wonder if I could get a tape recorder with this message plugged into my brain. I haven't seen one of those at Best Buy. Darn.

Proverbs 3:5-8
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones.

Interesting...

2008-01-08T12:24:00.000-08:00

Quotation #32964 from Michael Moncur's (Cynical) Quotations:

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. Robert FrostUS poet (1874 - 1963)

http://www.quotationspage.com/

LET GOD BE GOD!

2007-12-31T18:34:00.000-08:00

Hello Fellow Bloggers!!

I know it's been a while since I've posted...my laptop died a few months ago making my computer time hard to come by. But now I have a new one, praise God, so hopefully blogging will be a little easier.

I re-read my old blog from October (yes, way back in October), and found it continously applies to my everyday life. We cannot let our fears stop us from doing God's will! I have so many overwhelming fears that I, yes, even fear over having fears. How is that possible when I KNOW that God will be there for me, no matter what?

Over the past few months, I have struggled with these same issues. Afraid of this and that, these little fears threaten to consume me. When trying to do God's will, bumps and struggles are bound to happen and when they do, we each have a personal decision to make. Will we continue on the path that God wants us to travel or will we take the easy road that might seem to bring a safer, if not more comforting way.

And then for the first time in a long time after an upsetting situation unfolded a month ago, I found it hard to hear what the Holy Spirit had to say regarding this particular issue. I couldn't imagine living my life without the Spirit's guidance. I realized that I hadn't been in the Word like I should be. It should go hand in hand. I know this yet when I get baffled by something, I turn away from the very things that sustain me. Why is this?

I could blame it all on the evil one and wouldn't that be easy? But is that all there is to it? I don't think so. I think it's about letting fear get the best of me, little by little. Before I know it, I'm in a situation where I am weak and then yes, evil can worm its way into my heart, soul and mind, leading me astray, leading me away from God, his Word. While it's all right to admit that even as our faith grows, our fear is still a part of us, we cannot forget that we must keep up the basics of our faith to keep these same fears from overwhelming us to the point that we turn away from our God. This can be a gradual process and it takes an emotional experience to show that we might just not be right in our walk with the Lord.

We cannot be consumed by the "what-ifs" so that we let fear keep us from doing God's will. I really feel this is the message that God has been sending me over the past few months, and instead of digging deeper into the Word to listen to the Holy Spirit, I have been praying for easy answers that just weren't forthcoming. Imagine that.

Although God wants us to pray and I believe in the power of prayer, I feel he wants us to work at a personal relationship with Him. Key word being work. That means at a very minimum doing the right thing even though it's uncomfortable, grabbing ahold of Jesus' hand and dig into the Word to seek the Holy one's counsel, and receive a peace that only He can give.

Okay, I have brought this to my OWN attention once again, what am I going to do about it? First of all, I'm going to "LET GOD BE GOD!" Realize that I will be instructed to do God's will, BUT...he is in control of all situations... I do my part as instructed to the best of my ability, and HE does his. My pastor used this expression in a sermon when I felt most confused about the above mentioned issue. It is really so simple. Secondly, go to the Word! Seek out the message that God wants me to hear coming from Him. Then the Holy Spirit will show me the way! I cannot merely demand an answer without the proper understanding of his ways, his will.

Will this miracously cure all ills of the world, or even make my problems go away? No, but it will bring me one step closer to finding my way in this crazy world. One step closer to the place that God wants me to be at this point in my journey. Then and only then will I understand what to do in critical situations, and the smaller daily events of my life for fulfillment and joy.

This verse gives me great comfort and joy...

Romans 5:1-5
Peace and Joy 1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, wehave peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Ah, now don't you feel better? I know I do... ;)

SUMMER! REMEMBER THE SUN?

2007-12-31T18:27:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's me and my 14" bass! Why post a summer pic now? Well, I'm hoping to keep my spirits up during the sometimes dreary winter...especially when I look at the radar and see more snow coming!

Thank you Lord for all of your wonderful blessings!

Faith & Action~

2007-10-02T06:05:00.000-07:00

Hello Fellow Bloggers~

It seems that just as life seems to calm down a little there is always something that comes along to heighten a fear(s) that had been lurking all along. Has anyone else ever experienced this?

Sometimes I get discouraged because I want all lingering fears and the insecurity and doubts that go with them to disappear entirely, but that isn't the case, is it? We can push them aside, but then that bump in the road shows itself, and we are forced to reexamine them all over again. I think we can be hard on ourselves thinking that with faith we should completely be rid of our fears and try too hard to free ourselves. Maybe I'm wrong, but with the world the way it is today, I just don't see that it's entirely possible. We are sinners living in a sinful world with Satan lurking. Fear isn't always a bad thing. It should remind us that this world isn't about us.

That's exactly where our faith comes into play the most. We should confess, hand over our fears (as much as we can) to the Lord, realizing we are human and will still have all of these things that scare us, even with a deep faith. We can then rise above to do His will, and that's what makes overcoming struggles so encouraging, knowing that in our sinful bodies we can still enjoy our lives and accomplish the plan that God gives each of us, fears, sins & all!

So does something scare you? Admit the fear and ask God to help you push past it. I'm finding that the older I get, more and more frightens me, but I'm trying to remind myself that it's God who will comfort me and give me the peace I need to move forward. Am I always successful? Nope. I still sit back when I should act, but I am confident that God will use and mold me, no matter what. God is good!

Enjoy the Journey!

Are ya going crazy yet?

2007-09-05T05:25:00.000-07:00

Hello Fellow Bloggers!

The kiddies are in school and a routine is starting to emerge once again. If your experience is like mine, time sneaks up on you. One minute everything is moving at an even pace, and then whoosh, a big wind threatens to toss us into a week from Tuesday. Or maybe it's just me?

It's nice to get everything back to normal, whatever normal happens to be, but for some reason, I am caught off guard every Fall for what I know is coming. Silly, isn't it? It's not anything earth shattering, a few stops here and there to Target, the local dollor stores, Walgreens, and office stores, and of course school shopping, but I'm sure there are people who prepare for the insanity better than I do. With me, it's one day I have some free time and then I don't. No in between...no getting prepared...whammy, it just smacks me in the side of the head. Where did the day go?

Well, I might not be any more prepared today than I was seventeen years ago when my daughter first started school, but I have learned a few things a long the way to help ease the anxiety:

1. Know your limits. If you have children, Fall gets crazy fast, for many, without any warning, or for some, like myself, who are in denial until the last minute. Try not to take on more than absolutely necessary. Some can handle extra, fine. Go for it. Just as long as you know you can handle it with everything else that is in the schedule. Otherwise, there is a two letter word that many women still don't know how to use. What is it? "NO."

2. Don't panic. It all rushes on us like a big wave, but remember, for most of us, it's not our first time. We have done it before, we can do it again. If this is your first year, enjoy it. Keep a positive attitude and 'try' to find some humor when you have just purchased an expensive notebook that your child decides not to use--right away, they say, and know it will not be used. The worst part of this? You did the same thing the year before. Any more grays pop out?

3. Find an outlet of expression. This time is usually about everyone else but you...your thoughts and cares are pushed aside and it becomes your goal to make sure the family is situated between children starting school, getting physicals/dentist appts out of the way and then of course any other extracurricular activities and sports. Try to sneak time in for your devotions, prayer, other interests and hobbies...whatever they are. Get creative to find a few minutes here and there to remember your individuality. You can do it.

4. This is number four, but mark it number one. Because after all of the above, you'll need it. Remember to soak in the bathtub. I mean it. Don't laugh and say, 'yeah, right.' Do it. Come home and wash off the worries of the world. Put a nice soothing soy candle in the room with you with the light off...oh yeah, that is relaxation. Anyone asks something through the door, and you need the time to be alone, say just that. "I need some time. I'll be out in ten minutes." There, that wasn't too hard, was it? Ten minutes with epsom salts in your bathtub, and you'll be refreshed for whatever else comes your way. Well, almost. Oh and I have a glass of wine with mine, shh...don't tell anyone.

5. Try to remember you and spouse are a couple that still need to have a few minutes of alone time amongst the crazy schedules. A quick lunch alone, maybe? A massage? There are many ways to show support during this busy time. It makes everything so much easier when Mom & Dad are happy and getting along.

6. This one is the most important. Don't be too hard on yourself when you forget the above and freak out, lose your patience and stomp up & down because you bought the wrong color notebook or forgot to pay a bill or forgot to wash your son's special shirt. We all do it. It happens. I'm not all convinced it's a bad thing for our kids to see. We're not perfect, but we are thankful to our Lord that we have another day to work on it once again.

As always, somehow, someway, find joy in your journey! And I am reading my own list as a reminder as I struggle for my sanity. And reminding myself and other fellow bloggers that above all, God is good and will take care of all of us!

God bless!

Books, books and more books!

2007-08-02T07:21:00.000-07:00

Hello Fellow bloggers!

I know that it is common knowledge that there are local bookstore consignment shops that would love your books...but until noticing a cute little shop up north, I had forgotten about them.

For booklovers like myself, these shops are a place close to heaven. I wish I had all day just to explore all they have to offer. I brought in a 'few' books last fall to the above mentioned bookstore, and stopped by this summer to see if I had made 'big bucks' (really not expecting anything). I had made $13! Now, I know that sounds about as exciting as my 'big' article compensation, but that's keeping in mind that most books go for $3 there and my cut is 1/3. Not too shabby.

The reason I mention this is to remind all of the booklovers out there to look up their local bookstores! I love consignment shops regardless of the type because it is a win-win situation. I love the fact that my books are in the hands of others who care just as much about them as I do. And I have a little spending money for MORE BOOKS! ;)

I have also been checking out the local library's collection of used books for sale, knowing garage sales are even better, but those are tougher for me to get to. I can get a book for a buck. Of course, I also use the library, but found that I'm a little too lax about bringing books back...imagine that. The fees are usually higher, so I might as well buy the book, right? Then get my money back from the consignment shop!

Hey, there is logic there somewhere, I know there is! Okay, so if you are sane and can't see my logic, then will you appreciate the fun in it, like I do? Hmmm...my hubbie might not agree as he helps me carry the bags of books to the consignment shop! What a good guy!

And don't forget, somehow...someway...ENJOY THE JOURNEY!

Good News!

2007-07-27T07:40:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow bloggers~

On the way home from work yesterday, I was thinking about an article that I had submitted a few months ago to Everton's Genealogical Magazine. I had submitted a short fiction yesterday to Rosebud and it made me think of it. Well, when I got home, guess what was in the mail??

A contract! Of course the payment is small, but as I tried to explain to my son, it is the respect of having my writing published that matters to me...of course, it would be nice if it was $250 instead of $25...picky, picky.

Seriously, it has been almost two years since I've had anything published, esp since I have been concentrating on my novel, and I was beginning to feel frustrated. (okay, I was 'already' frustrated ;) It is a respectable magazine and I'm glad to be a part of it. This will make my third published article with them and already have plans for a fourth relating to the life of my unknown great-grandmother from New England area. I'm currently researching for it.

I am making progress with my novel as well. It was slow going. I was constantly getting battered that it was not up to par. As I have said before, I am currently working with an instructor from one of my writing groups and that has helped tremendously. I was missing some basic techniques that was really hindering my efforts. So I took some time to learn more, and am finally making seeing improvement. Of course, it will be ten years before it is probably ready for market, but hey, why not try?

Thanks for letting me share my good news!

God bless!

Azar Nafisi non-fiction: "Reading Lolita in Tehran"

2007-07-25T06:53:00.000-07:00

Hello Fellow Bloggers~

Just curious if anyone out there has read Nafisi's non-fiction, "Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books. I actually picked it up at used bookstore up north. I'm going to re-read it to fully appreciate everything the author is trying to tell us.

I enjoyed it tremendously and learned a lot, wondered if anyone else enjoyed it as much as I did, AND to highly recommend it, especially to the ladies (not to be sexist, of course.)

Although our country has big issues, after reading this book, I have a greater appreciation for the freedom we (esp women) have in America. It also has great information on literature interweaved. Beautifully written!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reading_Lolita_in_Tehran "The book narrates the personal and intellectual events of a private literature class Nafisi started in Tehran after leaving her teaching post at the University of Allameh Tabatabei. The class consisted of seven of her best female students, who met at Nafisi's house every Thursday morning from 1995 to 1997 to discuss forbidden works of Western literature.[2] In this private class, they also discussed the situation in Iran shortly after revolution (1978-1981)."

Whether you agree with the political viewpoints shared in this book, it is an enjoyable and informative read, and fellow writers will truly appreciate the literary excellence.

Click on above link if interested in more information on the book.

Would love to have this as part of a writing group, but that is very tough to do, esp with magnitude of the issues this book explores. If anyone is interested, please let me know.

Enjoy the journey!

-Lisa

ANTICIPATION~

2007-07-15T17:36:00.000-07:00

The Box
I stare out the front picture window and see really big snowflakes coming down from the sky. I want to make a snowman. My hands and chin are propped on the windowsill. I look at the clock on the wall, and the hand isn’t moving at all. I know it’s not because I’ve been staring at it, and if the hand is moving, it isn’t moving fast enough. I felt like this on my last birthday when I turned eight years old.

My eyes look at the street in front of my house. Where are they? This isn’t good. Not good at all. Suddenly, I see a car coming down the road. This must be the one. No, no, no! Not the neighbor’s big old truck. I think it’s ugly.

I press my face up against the cold window and try to look down the road further when finally, I see glaring car lights approaching through the falling snow. Please, please, please…be the right one. Yea they’re here, I say to myself as I jump up and down. “They’re here,” I yell.

I race to the door as fast as my legs can carry me and run right into my two brothers who must have heard me. I glare at them, and then continue running to the door.

My tummy starts to rumble and tumble, like it does when I have to say something in front of the whole class at school. I fling open the door just in time to see it. The box. It’s the biggest box I’ve ever seen. It must be 100 feet tall. It’s even bigger than last year! I don’t think my Grandpa can carry it, but he does. He is strong. He grins when he drops this box down at my feet. My face feels warm. I know what’s in that box. Can you guess what’s in there? Extra water fills my mouth as I think about it.

Okay, I’ll tell ya. There are millions and millions of goodies. Gooey cookies like chocolate chip, oatmeal and raisin, peanut butter and chocolate fudge with nuts in it, and every kind of sugar snack you can think of. My brothers and I scoot down in front of the box after it has been placed on a nearby chair.

My mouth hits the floor, and I quickly close it because spit starts to fall out from smelling Grandma’s cookies. I just want one. I yank on my Mom’s apron. She says no. Each little goodie has its on box, whether it’s a shoebox or a Tupperware. I lift one of the lids as I look over my shoulder for Mom or Dad, but no one is watching.

Daddy and Grandpa are still bringing presents in from Grandpa’s truck, and Mommy sighs. My brothers are putting the presents under the tree. They hold and shake presents as they laugh and try to guess what they are.

Smiling, I open the lid of one of the little boxes, and inside are the best looking cookies in the whole, wide world. I grab one of the frosted sugar cookies, and take a big bite. Crumbs fall to the floor. Oh sorry. Do you want one?

##

Written by Lisa Braendle

##

I wrote this a while back. It brought back powerful, happy memories, and hope it makes you smile. As I revised it (again), I wondered how happy God would be if we were in this much anticipation for our Lord's return. Just something to think about.

Coincidence?

2007-07-04T17:50:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note,

My hubbie got up to get coffee and donuts this morning and realized when he pulled into our driveway with smoke coming out of the hood of the truck; the alternator was fried. Not a good thing on any day, for sure, but the only thing I could think of right away was the fact that the truck could have had problems last weekend when our son was driving up to Ludington or worse when we were traveling to or from New York! So while it's not fun to deal with car repairs, I am thankful that it was today and not on any of those days.

Coincidence?

Family Time~

2007-07-04T17:24:00.000-07:00

Well, my family and I got back a week or so ago from a long weekend to celebrate our son’s 16th b-day. While I would love to show you a few pics that we took, I have no idea how to upload.

We took our son to Cooperstown NY to see the Baseball Hall of Fame Museum, and on the way, we stopped to see Niagara Falls, Canada. We had only planned to stay for lunch there, but ended up staying the whole afternoon. Wow! I wish we could have stayed the night there to see the colors of Niagara Falls at night. We just didn’t expect to have been blown away by the natural beauty there.

We had lunch on the second level deck of a nice restaurant, which overlooked the falls. The ambiance of the whole town fascinated us; a nice balance between yesterday and today. As I gazed upon the falls rushing down on both the American and Canadian side, I wondered how anyone could dismiss God. It is usually when I witness something so spectacular that I reaffirm my faith in our Maker, like the miracle of birth.

As the Maid of the Mist tour boat inched closer to the falls, I was transformed from tourist to Child of God, one of awe of the beauty of something so natural, so full of life. The only thing that took away from this was the view of a surrounding large lighted Casino sign. The place is a part of an ever-changing world, so while we enjoyed lunch at an updated restaurant that seemed to fit the atmosphere, the commercialism of glitsy signs and tourist shops reminded and annoyed me of the pushiness of today. Silly, I suppose to look at it that way, but it’s how I felt.

Then we went on to our original destination of Cooperstown, which did not disappoint. The green mountain countryside overwhelmed us Michiganders. The small historical town with its taste of something great and slower pace pleased us as if we were stepping back through time to the very place where dreams had originated. That was until we got our bill for souvenirs and lunch. We were pulled back to reality once again, but the lingering wonder of the little baseball town will stay with us for a long time.

The best part of our mini-vacation was having fun as a family and enjoying the company of our 16 yr old son, who loved it as much as we did and genuinely appreciated his birthday present.

Of course, the highlight for me was my picture being taken beside Cal Ripkin Jr.-my favorite baseball player, who is being inducted into the Hall of Fame this month. Okay, okay…so it was only me standing by one of his pictures there. Hey…I’ll take what I can get.

What’s next? A long, relaxing trip up north to the RV by the Lake... in just one week! Yippee!! Mini-vacations out of state are fun, but tiring…our vacation up north will be eating good and being lazy…ah, I can’t wait. Now if we can get our truck's alternator fixed by then, we'll be in good shape. Just so you know that I'm not on cloud 9. :)

Hope all is well with all of you! Have a safe and fun summer!

Thank you sweet Jesus for giving me life, so that I might enjoy life here and life with you, forever & ever. Amen.

Relationships

2007-07-03T15:05:00.000-07:00

Hello there,

Today, I thought I would share with you my appreciation for all of the important people in my life. It's amazing when I think of all of the support that I have from God, family and friends.

My relationship with Jesus is top priority, but finding the proper balance between all of the special people in my life while wearing many different hats has made maintaining important relationships challenging. But thankfully by listening to the Holy Spirit, I am more successful making time for meaningful friendships. It isn't easy, but well worth it.

I don’t know what I would do without special people in my life. When I need anything, it seems that I have someone I can go to, of course depending upon the circumstances. It’s interesting when I think about the relationships that I have now and had over the years. These people whom I call my friends know me. They accept me for who I am. No faking. No pressure. Just true friendship from people, who all, I might add, have different personalities. I think it’s true that certain friends have one or two characteristics in common, but all have special qualities that are unique, which make my life so much more enjoyable and interesting.

Thank you to all of you representing these special relationships/friendships, for all of your encouragement and support of my family and me. Sometimes it’s by way of a phone call/e-mail, card or lunch that does the trick. At other times, it’s your prayers that sustain me to stay positive amongst a negative world, and/or maybe it’s your laughter that reminds of the joy in my life, even when I don’t feel like laughing.

Really this is just the tip of the iceberg of the many ways that special people in my life, from my spouse and children to my parents and other family members to my close friends and on-line acquaintances, that have been unexpectedly fulfilling and pleasurable…you know who you are.

So even though it takes work sometimes to maintain relationships, it is important to keep the lines of communication open to ensure health and longevity. Some friendships come & go, but the ones that last, take some work and will be precious for years to come.

Have you encouraged anyone today?

COMING OUT OF THE DARK

2007-06-07T05:54:00.000-07:00

Hello, Blogger Friends and Family!

I know it's been a while since I last posted, but I am slowly coming out of darkness.

Most of you know that I have been struggling with depression since my hubbie went out on the road truck driving a couple years ago. Thankfully a few months ago, he found new work just 15 miles from our house! What a blessing. It is hard work since this is a very busy time for the business, but he is doing great. I am proud of him.

It's like coming out of a gloomy cave. The winter months were especially tough, but God is good, and we see the light and it feels good! I have started exercising and eating better. It's amazing how quickly the body suffers from depression as well. I am off my medication now and my body and mind is healing.

It's weird. The medication is good for depression (in most cases) and some of the symptoms, but it is very hard on the body--rough on the liver and kidneys. When I stopped the medication after a few weeks, my body bounced back to life, like some weight has been lifted from my shoulders that I didn't even realize was there. I don't know all of the medical explanations, I just know that I feel lighter. Of course shedding a few pounds in the process helps!

Lisa's tip of the day: Need a few inches off in time for that pool party or day at the beach? Head to your local health place for body wraps. Remember those? Please treat yourself! Plan on doing at least two or three before you see a big difference. Please make sure to drink lots of water and eat balanced diet as you detox to help rid yourself of those nasty little toxins! You'll be so glad you did! Leave the sugar and eat more vegies! (My reminder as well!)

Remember in our times of trial, God will not desert us!

TIME FLIES...

2007-04-16T12:10:00.000-07:00

I can't believe 1 1/2 months has gone by since I last blogged. Where does the time go? What have I been up to?

The good news is that I have been working one-on-one with an experienced writer from the writing group I belong to. We are going step-by-step through my novel, which is really helping me. I had been trying to revise it on my own...that did not work. Then, as part of this same group, I was posting it as part of a workshop, but I could not figure out what to keep v. what to revise. It was very overwhelming and I almost gave up. If it had not been for the workshop and the help, I would have walked away from the project. It was just too frustrating...how many times could I bump my head against the wall without seeing any progress?

This reminds me of my daughter and her frustrations with her goals and college. It is tough trying to find our way, is it not? What is important and what isn't?

Sometimes, we need to work hard to obtain important goals, but could we be making it harder because we are not going to God with our questions? Example of questions, we all have asked. (Not in any prioritized order...)

1. What type of work should I be doing?
2. Where should I attend college? What program should I work toward?
3. Should I attend college or trying to find full-time employment straight from high school?
4. What type of person should I marry? What qualities are important to me? Who should I be with for the rest of my life?
5. Should my spouse and I have children? If so, how many?
6. After baby has been born, should both parents work outside the home?
7. Where should I live? House, apartment?
8. Should I attend church?
9. What religion should I be a part of? Where should I attend church? Once a member, should I help? If so, what should I do?
10. Do I need to support my community? If so, how?
11. What other activities/hobbies will fill what little extra time I have?
12. How do I prioritize and balance everything that I want to accomplish?

Just to name a few!

Whew! How do we make the right decisions? That is where the Holy Spirit and our relationship with Jesus really becomes a big factor. Sometimes we bump our heads against imaginery walls on things that maybe we aren't meant to do. How do we know which path to follow? By communicating with our Creator! He is the only one who knows what we should and should not be doing. Easy? No way.

Confused? Yeah I am, too, at times. When I really need guidance, instead of picking up a book, I go to the Lord in prayer, and he has NEVER let me down.

So what are you waiting for?

I am weak

2007-02-28T15:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I feel like such a wimp. It's embarrassing. When am I going to learn that God will make sure that I'm taken care of?

I worry. I complain. And more importantly, I don't fully appreciate all of the goodness that God has shown me and my family. Shame on me.

I pray. I cry. And then, I worry some more.

God must be so disappointed. He gives me the tools, which I use on a daily basis, but there are those times. Those times when something goes wrong, or when things don't go my way, I'm wishy-washy.

I pray some more and expect God to miraculous make me feel better. Where's my faith? I know He will take care of me and my family yet...wild thoughts take over, and I am weak. Weak when I could be strong. Why can't I quiet my mind?

Sure, my faith is strong when things go well (my way), but what about in the face of adversity?

Growth. Growing in my faith. That's what I want, but when I want strength the most, sometimes...sometimes, I falter.

My soul whimpers and whithers, and I forget that my personal Lord & Savior is right there with me. When I come to my senses, I lower my head and look down at my feet.

How do I get past insecurities and weakness? By going to the Lord, of course! Our God is a forgiving and loving God! It's never too late to call on the Lord for strength and reassurance! He will not let me down. He never has.

Growing? Yes, I'm growing. But it's a gradual process. I'm working on it, walking hand in hand with my Lord.

GOT SNOW?

2007-02-03T13:36:00.000-08:00

Hello there, fellow bloggers (and loved ones :)~

Anyone else out there getting any snow? Michiganders (most of, anyway) are experiencing blizzard conditions, basically getting dumped on. I was just saying yesterday to my fav writing group that things around Grand Rapids don't close for snow...well, me and my big mouth--again. Of course, things around town (including ROADS and HWYS) are closing by the second due to the weather. We have over a foot of snow already with possibly another foot to go! We haven't seen these conditions in many years. YUCK! So glad that I got my chores done yesterday. WHEW!!

Who else out there is stuck in the snow??

Oh yeah, we are also at about 13 degrees with -15 deg windchill. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....
I'm so glad that this happened on the weekend, although my dau had to get out in it today, which made me just a tad bit nervous. Surprisingly enough, I've been pretty good about not getting too nervous with her out and about in bad weather, but today...it made me uncomfortable. Now, she's home safe & sound...DOUBLE WHEW!!

I'm just not a snow person. I don't get it. I grew up in Michigan. People have to deal with snow here...it's a given. So why is it that the older I get, the more I hate it? Strange. Although I will say that it is nice to be in the house watching it snow, but how often can one do that? Not often. I'm able to get more writing and housework done, so that's a plus, but man, for those you have to get out in this...I feel bad for them. It's crazy out there.

I think my blog still has a radar...click on it and you'll see what I mean.

ps-My thoughts & prayers go out to those Floridians who have experienced the terrible tornados and storms!

Be safe out there!

THIS IS JUST FOR YOU, PAULIE!

2007-01-18T16:51:00.000-08:00

My hubbie checks my blog when he's on the road from his phone, of all things...how is that even possible. I don't get it. Why is it that the older I get, the more dumb I feel?

Anyhoo...Hi, Paulie!!! I love you.

My man & I will celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversay next month! Yippee!

American Idol Again?

2007-01-18T15:23:00.000-08:00

Will the craziness ever end?? American Idol is on once again, and I am sitting in front of the television watching it, once again. It just seems to get stranger and stranger. One minute I think it's all staged and the next, I see someone so genuinely surprised that they can't sing that I get emotional. Is that what draws so many people? I don't know.

One minute the controversial judges are rude & obnoxious while at other times, they seem to enjoy and try to help the contestants, but then that Simon opens his mouth and vile spills out. Is that staged or is it real? Is it all an act. You play good judge, I'll play the bad judge? Can't tell for sure. I think I'd be disappointed yet relieved if I knew it was.

We all like to see people reach their goals. I think that's the best part of the show and in order for one to get to his/her dream, another cannot. I think the music industry has a genuine respect for the show and it's appeal as well. Some of the guest singers are well...a little "out there," but for singers like Prince to go on there, I think that says something. (I won't admit that I like that artist to very many people.) He is used to be more wild than he is now. (I think.)

So I prop my feet up and reach for the clicker in anticipation to see those make it one step closer to their dreams and to the others who don't. At least, they are participating in something they love, who can fault a person for that? Oh I'm sure there are quite a few out there that could and do. I just can't believe that some of those people actually believe they can sing...let's face it, there were just too many tears and anger for all of it be fake, right?

My husband said, "Look, honey, I love ya, but if you wanted to try out for American Idol, I'd stop you and say, "you stink, you can do other things, but you can't sing." Which brings me to my latest point, why aren't the genuine people who think they can sing not being told by family members not to go? I just don't understand that. But maybe some family members just find it hard to bring a lifelong dream to a halt. Maybe they don't want to be the ones to tell them...let Simon break it to him/her? I don't know. It just seems like a cruel way to find out.

Thank goodness, I have my husband...you never know, I might've faked my age to try out, but as he says, 'you stink, don't do it.' Another dream crushed. For those of you who don't know me, I'm kidding of course. About trying out that is, not that my singing isn't bad. Oh it is...it is. I don't know if all of the reality shows are worth my time, most aren't, but I make an exception for American Idol, and I'm not alone.

QUESTION: Would you tell someone close that they could not achieve their goal because they set a goal just too far out of reach, and it was VERY obvious that they couldn't?

If you're wondering what I mean, see next week's American Idol from just a few examples.

Enjoy the journey!

ROCKY BALBOA-

2006-12-23T20:01:00.000-08:00

Okay, so it's confession time for me again...

ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!

I confessed to being addicted to a few of the reality shows, I'm happy to confess my love for Rocky Balboa. Yeah, I know he's only a character in a fictional movie, somewhere deep down. Way deep. Want a motivational movie to watch, go see, "Rocky Balboa."

I've enjoyed every Rocky movie. Yes, I like Sylvester Stallone as an actor, but it's Rocky whom I love. I heard a couple of years ago that another Rocky was coming, and I've been patiently waiting ever since. I can't express to you how excited I was when I heard the first hint that the movie was coming out this year. I didn't need anyone to tell me that it was going to be a good movie...I just knew it. Okay, so Rocky V wasn't so hot, but I still liked it.

So why is it worth an entry in my blog? Well, I mention missing socks etc, so that's not really too impressive, is it? Well, it's worth mentioning because it is an inspiring story of hope of overcoming great odds to win the good fight (and I don't mean just in the ring.) It's about not quitting when things get tough. I'm trying to think of the great speeches from good ole Rocky, but can't remember exact wording, but I gotta tell ya, when Rocky spoke, it was like he was talking to each and every one of us. One of his comments (paraphrasing of course):
"It's not about how many hits you make; it's about how many hits you can take and still make it." Okay it was something like that. Simple. But man, it hit home. Okay so he said better stuff, I just can't remember it all, but bottom line the message is simple. You want something, nobody's going to get it for you, and no one has the right to tell you that you can't go after your dream. You've got to work hard for what you want to achieve. And what I love about this movie is that Rocky doesn't win the actual fight in the ring, but he won so much more...respect for a job well done and self-respect knowing that he didn't give up on his goal, his dream. That's it, that's what I like the most: RESPECT...today's society seems to have lost respect to foundamental principles, walking away from giving and focusing more on taking. Or by thinking that someone owes us something for nothing. I don't know maybe I'm just getting old...I'm starting to sound like someone even older than I am.

Maybe that's not so bad.

Okay, I'm done...for now.

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-20T17:15:00.000-08:00

How's everyone doing? Five more days until Christmas!! The countdown begins!!

Do you have your Christmas shopping done? If you think you have it all done, do you really? How about those stocking stuffers? Okay you have the kids done, right? Hope so. How about your parents, grandparents, boss, colleague, sunday school teacher, pastor, oh and don't forget your spouse, dog? Didn't mean to list spouse by dog...just the way it came out of the ole brain. I don't even own a dog. The list could go on and on. Have I depressed you yet? Every time I go to the store, I think of something else that I need to buy and buy something else that I didn't even have on the list. How is that?

Do you have the Christmas tree up and decorated? Is your house all decked out with decorations? How about those Christmas lights on the house, bushes and anywhere else you can think of? Oh yeah, how about one of those new snow globes for the lawn? (now those are cool...get the one with Winnie-The-Pooh! My fav!) I have one pine tree decorated outside, is that enough? How about the Christmas cards? Buy those Christmas stamps? Have the cards all been sent out?

How about groceries for Christmas dinner? Oh, I see, you're waiting until the craziest weekend of the year to go grocery shopping, like myself. For you bakers out there, are the Christmas cookies baked? How about the fudge? Oh I think I can smell them now. I made about four patches of cookies in hopes that one batch wouldn't be under-baked (is that a word?) or burned. I digress. So, what else is there?

Oh my goodness, how can I forget. Do you have all of your presents WRAPPED? You're good if you have that done. I'll give you a tip...wrap gifts when you buy them, and it is a much better experience. Even when I do this, I'm still wrapping a day before Christmas, why is that? I don't even want to talk about getting the house clean for family & friends. That list is wayyyyy too long to list here.

And isn't it interesting that out of all the presents we buy for those we love and respect, we don't even give to the one who Christmas is all about? I know...Jesus doesn't want any gifts from his children, right? Or does he?

Could he want to see a little more patience from his children as they rush thru the stores? Could he want his children to give just a little bit more to those in need? Could he want just ten darn minutes of our time daily to praise his name, pray and/or spend time doing devotions? Hmmm...I wonder, what else could he want?

But it's hard, I say to myself. I know that God speaks to me as I open up The Word and pray to him, yet during the time of the year when deep down I am the most thankful, for some reason, at times, I feel the furthest away from my heavenly Father. I can't even use the excuse that I'm just too busy. This season has been much more laid back than years past. I find time for other things, but when it comes to spending time with God, I am unfocused. It's embarrassing to admit, but that's the truth. There are times when I feel close to my Lord because I pray every day, but is that for Him or for me? What am I doing for Him?

I'm going to try hard to go to The Word, work on devotions and think about ways to help others. I ask myself to focus my overday routine and my writing projects, why not this, which is much more important? During this holiday time, shouldn't we actually celebrate the true reason for the season and give our Lord and Savior the best Christmas present ever? I think so.

I encourage you, as well as myself, to remember to praise his Holy Name and find ways to reach out to Him and His people during this busy holiday season. May God bless you and yours.

M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S!!

Big 4-0

2006-11-17T07:51:00.000-08:00

Ya know, it was tough enough turning 40 last month, but when books and newspaper and magazine articles magically get smaller, that really pushes me over the edge. My husband had been bugging me to get an eye exam because I couldn't read those darn backs of medicine boxes...why or why are those so darn small???

I'd been avoiding the issue for "a while." My hubbie and I were walking the mall (which we don't do much of) last weekend, and we walked past an eye place (what are these places even called?) Anyhoo, I'm trying to steer him the other way--too late. He spotted it. So...we walked in (after his pleading and pulling), and I got my exam...the first since my exam needed for my drivers license, I think one year. (I can't remember, I'm old remember?) I have very good eyesight other than small print. (so I'm far-sighted, right))

So, the optomotrist (sp?) recommended + 1 reading glasses. Now, those take some getting used to...I can use it for close up, but as most of you know to look further with them is well...a little scary.

I thought I'd look studious and wear them at work...all that did was make me dizzy, so I wear them when I'm using my laptop and going over my novel and other misc writing projects and for that fine print everywhere else. The funny thing is I'll watch tv with them on while I have my laptop. So I have learned to adjust them on my nose just right. I look up to see the show and down to write. Am I talented or what? My family still laughs when I have them on...now that isn't very nice. I feel like a librarian when I have them on...why is that? Do I need to get one of those necklaces to attach them to? Notice how well I know the lingo! ha!

Well, the point of this...who the heck knows...it must have some entertainment value somehow. My blogger friends have such inspirational posts of late and what do I have? A post on reading glasses...I best step it up! But as most of you know (those who even care to stop by) I have more than my share of the serious side...hope you find some humor in your day...life is serious enough, right?

Have a great day!

ANOTHER MONTH HAS GONE BY? SAY IT ISN'T SO!

2006-11-17T07:40:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that I did it again! Not blogging for an entire month?

I guess I've been focusing on other things...

Just an update...my family and I are doing just fine. I have been working on my novel yet once again with the fine critters at the Notebored. I have a very complicated novel on my hands that I'm trying to work thru...it's tough! It shows some promise so I'm not giving up--yet. I might have to make some major changes to make it work, but I'm trying to work thru it w/o that at this point anyway. My inexperience is glaring.

Although I love summer and all of the sunny days on the beach, I am starting to appreciate fall and winter more than I ever have before. Summertime, my family and I are very active and spend a great deal of time up north at our trailer. But the winter is a slower time for us, and we're able to catch our breath. This is the best writing time for me, and I really love it. I'm looking forward to those cold, snowy days with my computer on my lap...if you know me at all, you know that I HATE snow...I don't like anything about it, so for me to even state such a thing is crazy...but it is true. Of course, I wouldn't hate snow if I didn't have to get out in it every single day, but reality of it, is that I do. But if I have something to look forward to, it sure helps!
Nope, no skiing for me.

So...with all of that being said, I won't have any excuses for not blogging, right??

Thanks to my friends for waking me up and reminding me that I need to remember my blogger friends!! Forgive me!!

Thanks for stopping by and for your constant support!

Best,
-Lisa

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE OF THINGS...

2006-10-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd lighten things up a bit and tell ya'll a quick funny.

Running late for work this morning...imagine that on a cold, dark, rainy Monday morning...and on the way out the door, I remembered the giant size coffee I had purchased over the weekend for the office. I mean this baby must weigh five lbs--hey, I'm dutch...it was a good deal. Anyhoo, I then remembered that this is the type of can that needs to be opened with a can opener. NO problem, right? Yeah, right.

So here I am trying to fit this big can of coffee to my little opener, and I try and try to get it to open the whole way. Nope...after several tries, I still cannot open it completely...I'm now just a little mad and looking at the clock reading 7:55 am...I realize that gives me exactly five minutes to get to work on time, which isn't going to happen. I pull on the top and there is still a 2" gap so I try to twist and turn it, but...no go. Well, I gotta tell ya, I almost threw that thing out the window! After staring at it like it had grown horns and was now laughing at me, I put the plastic cover on and set it on the table (as calmly as I could--really I was calm.) ;)

At lunch time, (after spending $30 for wrinkle cream at Walgreen's--now if that ain't enough to depress a girl, ha ha.) I tried once again to open it all the way and lo & behold, after a few tries it came right off. Now, I ask you...why couldn't it have done that this morning?? hmmm, I wonder.

And...how was your morning??

Who's it All About anyway?

2006-10-13T07:06:00.000-07:00

Hello dear friends~

I was going through my son's old books to help clear out his room--no easy task :) I came across a book for teens by Max Lucado, and it deals with the subject that the focus of our lives should be on God and not ourselves. Good message, right? Pretty simple to understand, right? Why is it then that when life gets rough, that we focus on our problems and the negative rather than putting more focus on God for a more positive outlook? Is it the devil's work--our own human weakness that prevents us from looking up to the Lord? I think a little of both probably.

Society also helps dictate this, "it's all about me" syndrome. I fall into it; most, at some point, fall into it. But we need to rise above and recognize it for what it is--a trap. We must place our focus on our Lord Jesus Christ for peace and fulfillment for a joy that will last no matter what our circumstances.

God knows what he's doing! He knows when we focus on ourselves, we get down and depressed. He wants our focus on him, so that we realize His BEST plan for our lives. We are sinners--we cannot achieve God's will for our lives w/o the focus on Him. This world will NOT give us what we need, although we surely do try to find it there. We must have the attitude that it's all about God rather than about us--then, only then will we be on the right road. Easy? NO way.

We get down, depressed. I'm there--daily. But we don't have to struggle alone. There are medications and therapy--yes...good in their rightful place. But we must allow God to help us as the number one authority. When we look to God, we are on the right path to finding true happiness.

I pray that you will remember to look to the Lord and know that this message is my own reminder as well. God bless!

WHAT THE HECK?

2006-10-11T07:33:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I haven't posted anything in over a month! This fall has been flying by...but still...what the heck?

What have I been up to? Well, for one thing, I haven't felt well. Most of you know that I'm usually more quiet when something's up. I found out that I have two ovarian cysts that are bleeding, so they are painful. Good news is that they should go away on their own...I've had one before. They usually aren't this painful, but these babies are...so I'm anxious for them to go away ;)

I have been writing as much as I can but with my laptap still dead and with my kids hogging the home computer, it has been difficult to get much done. That's my excuse anyway. I had all four submissions rejected for my "Big Girl" short story. I'm going to work on getting it out to a few others to try and find a home. I am still revising my novel from hell and getting support from the Notebored writing group. There just isn't enough time in the day to fix the glaring errors with it, so I take it step-by-step and find the experience very rewarding (even though at times it is extremely frustrating)--makes perfect sense, right?

I've also been fighting a little thing called depression. Any of you know about that? I've fought it off and on over the years, so I know the symptoms--it usually takes a while before I do something because...well, we all think we should just snap out of it like a bad mood--not like that, unfortunately. I went to my doctor for help, and I'm going to take just a low dose of an antidepressant that I was on years back.

I've also been busy with Cody's cross country practices and meets. I so enjoy them! My hubbie & I were CC runners in HS, so we have a lot of fun supporting him. Thankfully, my hubbie has been home on the weekends and that has been wonderful, but this summer/fall was tougher than I thought it would be without him during the week.

Well, I will try to be more faithful to my blogger buddies. Please be patient with me!

Take care and God Bless!!

Real Life Stuff

2006-08-16T08:09:00.000-07:00

So are ya ready for a philosophical chat? Hope not. How about listening to me ramble about silly stuff?

Like why/how I always have extra socks AND missing socks ...now I know this must happen to other people, right? But now, it's underwear for my boys...okay, my hubbie and son, to be exact. They both scratch their head and wonder where all of their underwear go. And I honestly don't know. I search, oh yeah, I look under beds, near the washing machine, the hamper? Why would I check in the hamper? I've checked laundry baskets and other misc places. Where do they all go?

And why is it my responsibility to know where these items are at all times and a better question is why it's my responsibility to find them? Yuck. Dirty socks and underwear. Dang. Did I sign up for this duty somewhere along the way? When I ask the question to "my boys," they only shrug and say, "cuz, you're the mom." Hmmm, now where have I heard that before?

Or what about, the slamming of cupboard doors one-by-one by family members and of course the refrigerator door slams next. "Mom, where's all the food?" It's Wednesday. I went shopping on Friday night and spent $160 on food. Where did that all go, I ask. They want me to get more food. I say no. Why, they ask, with hungry eyes of a child who has had something to eat ten minutes ago. Friday, that's shopping day, that's why. They moan and groan and then find something that they'd passed over earlier in the week. It's hard not to stop to the store during the week and of course there are times when I must, but I could quite possibly be there every day if I didn't draw the line. I ask my 21 yr old to stop by for her own needs and you'd think I'd just slapped her. But that's another story.

How about the towel dilemma--those sometimes, too become MIA. And since when were two towels needed for a shower? This is a necessity according to my daughter. Heck I'm all for using the same one two days in a row, now that is a sin.

And how is your day? Can anyone relate to any of this craziness?

Is it my birthday?

2006-08-10T13:18:00.000-07:00

Okay folks, I'm feeling older today, much older. Is it her birthday, you ask? Nope. Might as well be though--feeling the wrinkles pop out as I type this. The grays aren't hidden any longer. Why more so today?

Well, my daughter turns 21 today and my 15 yr old son started drivers training this week. (thought I was going to have a heart attack when I saw my son behind the wheel of the car with the instructor--where was my peace then?) Whew, all good news, but dang, I'm feeling my age today. And all before my 40th birthday in October. Gee, I wonder how I'll feel then? Don't go there.

Age is all a state of mind. Then I'm 200 today, yeah for me :) Try blowing out those candles. I'm going now to get my cane ;)

Ya'll have a good day and I hope you're feeling younger than I am.

POV

2006-07-27T05:47:00.000-07:00

So, okay, here's the scene.

It's a bright, sunny Sunday afternoon. And it's hot. After spending over four hours at the beach and swimming in Lake Michigan and nearby river, my son, his friend and my hubbie are inside our trailer, which I think is close to a sin on such a beautiful, breezy day as this.

Now, here's the thing. I like it quiet on Sunday afternoons esp if I have some time alone. Or should I say, I'd expect that in the park, it would be quiet on a Sunday afternoon. It's one thing when I'm enjoying the outdoors, say fishing, reading a book on my deck or even when sitting by a roaring campfire. I expect noise then, right? Of course. But today there is an unusually loud, annoying man-made noise in the park from one of the nearby campers. It's some sort of power generator, which I have come to find out is from someone power-spraying his/her trailer. Yeah so my soothing, relaxing time is not so soothing because of this over-bearing, constant noise.

I'm pretty darn good at drowning out noises (whether they are internal or external) in order to accomplish a quiet Sunday when necessary. But I confess having to work hard to tune out that generator. It's humming and buzzing and not stopping. It's been a few hours. Nope, still there.

Well it got me to thinking. Life is like this, isn't it? In order to accomplish any goal, hear God's voice, we must learn to quiet the other voices and noises around us. At times, peace doesn't come easily--we need to work hard to achieve it. Let the problems go, let the internal monologue go, and let God give you peace. And if you want peace on any noisy day, you might just need to block out the noise, even if only for an hour. Yes, even blocking machinery.

How to block these stubborn noises? Focus. It takes a great deal of focus/concentration to block out equipment, believe me--but I've been doing it as I concentrate on writing exercises and reading a book. I've trained myself to focus on the task while taking out the background. I still know the noise is there, no doubt about that. We can't just work away from life's problems or issues, but we can put them in the proper prospective so they don't run havoc to destroy our peace and joy.

It's about staying at the task at hand until something stops you that can't be stopped and yes, there are those things. I'm interrupted many times at work, but when focusing on the top priority task, I go back when I've taken care of the other issue. But when the focus is on the project rather than the noise, we're actually working harder and longer on our goal. Could you imagine if we stopped everything in our day when we hear an annoying noise or couldn't block our annoying self-talk? We wouldn't ever get anything accomplished.

So when the noises of life take over, just remember to stay on task until the job is complete--even if it takes many interruptions. Ahh, the post is written and the external noise has stopped. The generator humming has stopped. Now isn't that perfect timing? Ha! But isn't that the story of our lives?

Enjoy the Journey

ANOTHER POST ON FOCUSING??

2006-07-13T05:59:00.000-07:00

Why is it harder to focus when I'm not as busy? Does that make any sense?

Yes, of course I'm busy--who isn't? The month of July is normally a relaxing month for me, more so than any other month. But I've noticed that I'm not accomplishing any more, even though sports and misc. church activities aren't in the schedule. Of course then I'm running around like a madwoman, but I still feel like I should be getting more done around the house, more writing projects out the door, making more time to write new stories/revise older ones and other activities. I am taking care of normal business, but how to focus when the sun and chair on my deck call my name?

Or is it the Lord who calls me? Part of me knows that rest & relaxation is needed to find time to listen to the Lord. When the track and cross country meets overwhelm my schedule and let's face it, even my spiritual responsiblities, at times, deflate my spirit, the Lord often reminds me to cool my jets. (Is that an expression that is even used any more?) Sometimes we want to concentrate on the achievement of goals too much when I think sometimes God wants us to sit. Listen. Then there will be a time to march forward to work out his plan. But are we listening?

My thoughts for today...It's okay to enjoy the sun and let go of all of the madness, but it's important to remember to praise God and listen for his guidance in our daily lives, no matter the season.

May God bless you and keep you. Look to the heavens for focus and God will show you the way.

Enjoy the Journey, my blogger friends!

Vacation~

2006-07-10T15:56:00.000-07:00

I'm baaaaaccccckkkkk!!!!!

I've been on vacation for the past week, and it was fantastic. I went kayaking for the first time--we kayaked for three hours on Hamlin Lake. We went down trails that few choose to go down. Shallow trails with high weeds and plenty of bugs, snakes and of course a beautiful blue sky and water. We had to get out five times, and port (portages seasoned kayak'ers call them,) drag the boat and then get back in another side. Those who kayak might be able to appreciate the challenge of this. It aint easy. Challenging. Will I fall in this time, I wondered. I spent time with close family and cousins...sitting around campfires, watching thunderstorms roll by...sprawling out in the sun on the beach and of course, reading my books purchased at the local used bookstore, and so much more.

But people are surprised when I tell them that I'm usually ready to get back to the routine--to my life, my work, my writing. I like my job (most times) when I have the right frame of mind, thus the importance of rest & relaxation. Sometimes I forget to take that daily break--to focus on the important things in life--devotions, praising God, spending time with family. Once priorities are in proper order, life is much more enjoyable, with or without a get away from it all vacation. A vacation for me can simply be time with God on my deck, listening to the birds as I complete a devotion, or even spending time with family--playing cribbage with my son.

But let's face it...there's nothing like that time away from everything...when our minds are renewed...refreshed...almost erased of worry. If we don't take time to wipe the slate clean, how can we get down to what's really important? Just like God wipes are slate clean, we too must forgive ourselves and let the past go, let the worries go, and just enjoy the journey that we must follow.

Isn't it interesting how it all ties together? Peace, rest, relaxation, forgiveness and yes, work. We can work and have all of these things. Vacations away remind us of what that peace feels like, but if the only time that I felt peace was one week a year, I would go insane. My joy is in the Lord and peace comes from Him--not the lake or a cottage or RV.

I thank God that he allows us our vacations to remind us what his peace can feel like year round even when we know that we have hard work ahead of us as we do God's will.

Make the Bed!

2006-06-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

Hello Fellow Blogger friends,

Okay, I admit it...I haven't ever really been concerned about beds being made in our house. My kids make their own decision on that. I showed them how when they were younger, and then left it up to them. And I confess that I don't make my own bed every day...did I just hear gasps out there in cyber-world? Not make her bed? Well that's just terrible, you think. But again, it's just never been a big thing with me. Okay what's the point, you ask.

Well on those days that I decide I want my bed made, I quickly throw the top covers--my quilt and comfortor over my queen size bed, not paying any mind to the sheets underneath. As I was tossing them over my bed one day, I wondered if this was a lot like disguising real thoughts of inadequacy and guilt from sin when we buy our fancy cars, our expensive homes and materialistic things like the name brand suit and shoes in hopes to feel better. Is it all a disguise, a cover for the real feelings inside? Oh we all like nice things...but at what cost? I wonder if some like to shop for escape from dealing with problems and bad feelings, instead of going to the source, our God through our Lord, Jesus Christ for peace, fulfillment and forgiveness. But instead are we pulling the comfortor over our beds in hopes of hiding what's lying underneath? Will those materialistic items be enough?

I pray that we'll be able to deal with pain, disappointments, anger, feelings of guilt from sin and other issues by praying and confessing sins to Jesus Christ, instead of running out for the latest car or outfit. He is the only source for long-term peace and joy.

And no, I won't make my bed any different after this post ;)

From one blogger just trying to find the joy in the journey...

WHERE DO STORIES COME FROM?

2006-06-20T10:23:00.000-07:00

It's interesting to stop and think about where writers come up with their stories. Where do these stories come from? I hadn't put too much thought into the subject until my mom mentioned that she was depressed by my stories and didn't want other people to read them, thinking they were about me. I reassured my mom that no, in fact, they were not based on my life or me at all...but in thinking about that, I wondered if that was entirely true. The story itself is fiction, but what about my character's thoughts/feelings?

I think about some of the stories that I've written, and I have felt the way that my characters have at one time or another, but these feelings are ones that most have had, so I think readers will be able to relate to my characters better. That's the goal, right?

I have thought about where Stephen King gets his stories from. I mean, that's just plain scary. I did read his book, On Writing, but honestly couldn't tell you if he mentioned where his stories come from or not. The stories aren't real of course, but the feelings behind some of the characters must be real. I'd say all characters, but his stories can get wayyyy out there so not all are human ;)

So back to the question: Where do stories come from? I have a book on Freud and dream interpretation, maybe I should read it to see what he has to say on the subject. Obviously our imaginations, right? What does that mean? Do we have a magical fairy godmother/muse up there directing our thoughts? I know the holy spirit directs our lives down the path that God wants us to follow--is there something us going up there?

Well, now my head hurts, but I'll just say that for now, my stories are fiction and not based on anyone I know or myself, even if some of the thoughts and feelings are based on real human emotion. There...that sounds good. That's my story, and I'm sticking with it!

End of Story...

What do you think?

FOCUS...FOCUS...FOCUS...

2006-06-06T18:22:00.000-07:00

Hello Fellow Blogger Buddies~

Sorry that I've been neglectful to my blog! Blame it on the weather--the birds singing, the soft warm breezes blowing through my hair as I lounge on my deck at the RV (home away from home), those many writing projects--whatever the reason, I've been a tad bit unfocused. But lately it's most likely because I've been tired, esp after a nightmarish week of work. Hell week. It was good to go thru it, I tell my boss...to show yourself you can get thru anything...like childbirth. Ha Ha. No, it wasn't anything like that...don't worry :) This on top of an already busy few months of constant stress.

I've been trying to focus on my writing projects as I've stated before. Many writers have a hard time focusing when they have so many projects in the works. I love Kevin Alexander's monthly article in Writer's Digest magazine on the subject. He is hilarious. Here's the thing. I'm having my novel critiqued weekly at the Notebored (Writing group that I've mentioned before.) Every week as part of a workshop, I post 2,000 words and have approx 4-6 people give feedback on it. It doesn't sound like a lot, but when trying to revise the terrible stuff I wrote three years ago and then revising that after receiving feedback only to find out it's still terrible, it is tough. The cycle continues weekly. It's been five weeks now. On top of this, I really want to market a children's story as well as work on other pieces. I have my goals, but just can't seem to get all of this done! What is more important--work on the novel? Get out the children's story? How about those other two short stories that I've had critiqued and re-written 20 times that are calling my name? I also have many other flash/short shorts that I've written on the Notebored from triggers--what about them? I could re-write and post on the Notebored as part of another challenge. I also try to participate in the weekly trigger flash to keep my writing skills up to par as I revise my novel. But...what's more important? How do I prioritize? What story is more important?

Okay, you'll know by now that I'm very much a gut instinct kinda girl. I listen to the Holy Spirit for direction in my life. Does the Spirit guide me on such simple projects? If so, I'm not listening. Or am I? I could be doing many other things with my time. Why write? What does my instinct say about that? It certainly isn't an enjoyable experience all of the time, especially after another "critter" slaughtered my flash or thinks my novel is something out of a scary movie. Okay I might be exaggerating, but honestly, it does get overwhelming. Does anyone else feel this way?? Am I all alone? Am I normal?

Remember the post for lists and goals? Well, I still make them and actually do accomplish quite a bit, but every day lists? No way. Just can't do it. And after reading my earlier post on this subject, it sounds insane. I think I'm trying to control my life better, not wanting to miss out on everything. But life isn't that controllable is it? And do I need to be reminded of this daily?

So back to the main question, am I alone in my frustration of being a writer who struggles with her goals because of lack of time and focus? You tell me. Is there magical dust that I can buy? Will my muse help me? Will the Spirit show me the way? Or do I just write and write and write and do the best I can?

The good news is God is there for me. He listens to my insanity and frustrations and the Spirit does show me the way. I just need to remember to be still and listen to His voice. While I might go about my writing in an unfocused way...God reminds me to put the focus back on him. Hmmm...that is much more important. Yes, there is still craziness, and I still want everything organized, but my peace returns about my writing. I know this is the direction I should follow. I know that everything is fine. Just fine.

Thanks for reading and listening. I feel better already.

Enjoy the Journey!!

In Remembrance~

2006-05-30T16:47:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day reminds me of my ancestors, and I wonder what their lives must have been like, way back in the day. I have spent a great deal of time researching my past and have been richly blessed finding newfound cousins.

If you’re strolling here and would like tips on researching your heritage, feel free to ask! I also have research/info on the following surnames: Tuttle, Peavey, DeVries, McMullin, Braendle, Dove, and misc. others. Please let me know how I can help you! It is one of the most fulfilling and challenging endeavors to find one’s ancestors and family in the present! You won't be disappointed. I'm thankful that my ancestors risked so much to start a new life in a new world! My ancestors emigrated from England, Ireland/Scotland, Netherlands...etc.

Memorial Day also reminds me of those who have fought and still fight for our country, for our rights and the rights of so many others around the world. Sometimes it's hard to know what is right and wrong where war is involved, but we must always remember to support the men and women who give their very lives, so that we may have life, prosper and enjoy the very freedoms we enjoy to this day. I couldn't even imagine being a woman in places like Iraq and Afghanistan.

I pray that we take a moment to remember what our family and others we've never even met have done and continue to do to ensure freedoms here and overseas.

FRIENDSHIP

2006-05-23T16:12:00.000-07:00

To all of my friends out there ~ You know who you are!!

Friendship is a magical vehicle in which two distinct souls journey together to different destinations.

Author unknown

Contact a friend today!!

Motherhood

2006-05-14T16:57:00.000-07:00

As another Mother's Day comes to an end, I am convinced that my role as mother is not only one of the most important ones in my life, it's the most difficult. I have accomplished things in my life that I would consider tough. I've worked stressful jobs under tough managment and went back to college to earn my degree, working full time while raising a family, etc. But I'm telling ya, nothing compares to the challenges I face as a mother--daily. And it doesn't get easier as my children get older, much to my disappointment.

This divine appointment is one that takes my breathe away, an emotional rollarcoaster that no amusement park can outdo. It's amazing how many ups & downs a mother can experience in one day, let alone how much one experiences throughout the years. I feel pain, anger, frustration, impatience--okay, just flat out pissed off one minute while the next, I am joyous, amazed, calm and appreciative of the blessings/gifts God has given to me. Up and down, Up and down...and let's throw in the twirly rides, too--the twists and turns, just for fun because that's what a mother feels like. Sometimes I wish I could keep my emotions at bay, but I'm not sure that's the best way. Is it even possible, all of the time? Not in my world. We can't just push a magical button and make all situations/circumstances better with a calm smile. I believe there is a time, place and reason for different emotions.

My kids see and know the real me. They know the mom who loses her temper and cries over it--who apologizes for it, but stands firm when a harsh, "no" must be spoken, even when she wishes she could say yes. They see a mom who struggles with life and her own dreams, who has a mind and wants to be the best she can be for God, her family and her true self. One who works hard to fit everything in, but seldom accomplishes everything she wants to.

Do I pray for patience and less rollercoaster rides? Oh yeah, but I'm glad that my kids really know who I am rather than some watered down version of who they think I am. I am who I am, after all, and I wouldn't trade being a mother for anything in the world.

To all of you mothers on rollar coaster rides, Happy Mother's Day!! And a special, "Happy Mother's Day," to my own mom who knows exactly what I'm going through! Thanks, Mom for being there and sacrificing so much for me.

Enjoy the Journey!

SPEAKING OF MIDDLE AGE!

2006-05-09T13:27:00.000-07:00

Funny story on the book I'm reading. You know you're old when you buy a book at a used bookstore and then loan that same book from the library within a two week period.

To my defense (kinda), I mentioned here that I had purchased a couple of books up north from a used bookstore, which I kept at our trailer and hadn't read yet. I went to my local library the following week and happened upon, Light of August by William Faulker, revised 1985 edition. I took out the book. I started reading it late last week and had it with me when we went up north this past weekend.

When I walked into the trailer, I saw the book by Faulkner on the table. Keep in mind, it looked completely different and was the renewed edition (if that's how you say it.) from 1959. I know what you're thinking, didn't I recognize the title? Nope...it's sad but true. I knew that I had purchased one of his books but was the chance that it was the same book?? Yikes! I guess I'm supposed to read this book!

And HOW WAS YOUR DAY?? :)

Older & Smarter?

2006-05-05T06:51:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow bloggers~

As I approach this thing called "middle age," I wonder why I don't feel any smarter. What happened to the answers I once had? I thought I would be so smart at 40. Nope. Didn't happen-well I have a few months, maybe it will yet, suddenly. Hmm...I doubt it. If I didn't have the answers to life's questions as a youngster (not that I'm old-ok?), I had desperately sought them out. And now?

All right, I admit it. I still seek the answers to life's questions, at times. The good news? I search for the answers from a different source now, and instead of focusing on trying to find the answers to all of life's questions, I concentrate on my faith in the Lord. God is my source. He has the answers. I DO NOT. It has taken me a long time to figure this out. I still find it difficult to admit. I still need reminders. I can search & search within myself and roam around the entire face of the earth, but I will not find the answers to the important questions that I need to know. Answers to the questions that I must know for salvation, for peace, and to follow God's will.

Struggling? Need answers? Don't know your purpose in life? Go to the Lord in prayer and ASK for comfort, strength and understanding, AND HE WILL provide you with a peace that will astound you. Feeling unworthy? Ask for forgiveness and let your past sins/struggles melt away so that you may start a new life. A new life with the Lord by your side. A friend, an ally that no one can take away. Don't know this triune God? Ask Jesus into your heart and your life will change-FOREVER.

If anyone has specific prayer requests, please feel free to post them here! I would love to pray with you.

My Favorite passage from The Holy Bible

2006-05-05T06:45:00.000-07:00

1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

This helps me get thru life's struggles, through this journey called life. Our God is good! May it also help you along your path.

What are your favorites??

What is this? Who wrote this?

2006-04-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

I'm at the point now that I've written enough short stories, articles and other writing projects that there are things I don't remember writing! I came across this little diddy and still can't figure out why I wrote it. After revising it slightly, I remember writing parts of it, but it's all a blur. I have no idea where this came from...do you know what I mean?

Title? If I posted this early on in my blog days, forgive me...I can't remember ;) I think I wrote that already, right? See what happens when you approach 40? Enough stalling...here goes...

The tall, wet grasses brush against my old cotton sweats as I run, slipping and sliding on the slippery trail. Branches from large old trees bend and twist as I make my way alongside the stream, which is partially frozen with water still flowing. The scene of the stream, the glistening trees and squirrels scattering as I press forward should comfort me. I yearn for peace. I race to find it. Instead, strands of cobwebs fill a deep empty abyss that should be a normal functioning brain. Lead weights attach to my eyelids. I stop running and wipe beads of sweat off of my forehead. I close my eyes and take a deep breath filling my sore lungs with sweet, fresh air, exhaling to the point of a sigh.

Why can’t I escape my body and rise high above the trees to the heavens and leave this pain behind? I wonder. And, I want to continue my run. I want to scream-the kind that hurts your throat and takes your breath away. Instead, with heavy tight shoulders, I fall to the hard, icy ground. I sit in a pile of coldness and look at the whiteness and wonder how it can appear so bright when all I really see is a blackness that won’t go away.

An imaginary mass of misery and darkness swirls above, through me and finally rests on my shoulders. I can’t touch it, but sense its long, sharp teeth ready to devour me like the big bad wolf in an old nursery rhyme, which actually reminds me of another time and place-my youth and happiness, now a thing of the past. The powerful pull of restlessness takes over. A single tear falls down my face. No more will follow. Tears won’t take it away. I know.

This thing of unrest and heaviness consumes my thoughts. I want to grab and shake this endless stream of emptiness and loneliness. I want to place this crazy ball of destruction into a sling, fling it over my head and watch it sail.

I stand and spin round and round, hold my head and yell, “Move on! You can’t have me. I have so much to do.” Only silence follows. This is all too familiar.

Little gray and white sparrows flutter in the trees and bushes next to me and somehow, I know the cloud of gloom will not pass until it has dumped its ugly contents on me. I shudder and feel goose bumps rise and scatter across my skin. I sigh and remember I’ve run into the forest near my home and know much time has past as I see the moonlight peaking through the snowy twigs. I notice puffs of my breath steaming the air around me.

A light crunching sound behind me, my whole body stiffens. I hold my place, too afraid to move. And, suddenly I see them. A wide-eyed doe and her fawn stand motionless about fifty yards and stare at me. The burden once weighing on my shoulders has been lifted. Once again, I remember what peace feels like, if only for a brief moment in time.

###

Craziness!

2006-04-26T12:15:00.000-07:00

You know, I was re-reading my old post on time management last night, and I couldn't help but laugh at myself. I know better. Really I do. Trying to manage my time? I must be out of my mind...I thought of this post as I sat on my couch watching American Idol, (yes, I'm a fan-had another embarrassing post on that, too.) and folding two loads of clothes in between clicking my email and critting a few stories on my lovely "wireless" lap-top. Time manage? Yeah right...all this after my son's track meet and mopping the floor, getting supper ready. (that all after working all day :) Heck it will take me longer to figure out my schedule of events than it would just to do what I can. Right? Excuses, excuses, excuses...

Anyhoo, if I ever type up such a stupid post again, someone out there in cyperspace, come over here and give me a little pinch or something...I was going to say smack on the head, but I might just have another stupid post so I have to be careful...

I know what you're thinking...she's lost it...

:)

Books, books, books...

2006-04-23T17:53:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to pass along a couple of good books that I've recently read.

The Historian, by Elizabeth Kostova

This was a difficult and LONG book for me. I struggled through the historical parts, but the book is well-written and while I also struggled with the different POVs, it was suspenseful and interesting. (Although I must confess skimming over some of the historical parts-shame on me because the novel is beautifully written.) It was good and spooky! Believe it or not, it was a book about the history of Dracula (and variations thereof) mixed with a fictional tale about him.

Me, by Katharine Hepburn

I've been fascinated with Katharine Hepburn for as long as I can remember. I was recommended by a used bookstore clerk this particular book since it was written by Katharine herself. I highly recommend it as well. I read it in two days. Although I wish she would have written more on her relationship with Spence, I found the book to be fascinating and Katharine very witty-quite hilarious at times. Her life was grand. I'm going to rent her older movies-if I can find them ;) I've seen a couple with her and Spence. Loved her with John Wayne, in Rooster Cogburn and also in On Golden Pond.

I'm in the middle of Scott Turow's, Reversible Errors.

Any recommendations?? Reviews??

ps-I also picked up Dan Brown's, Angels & Demons...see earlier posts on my review of his book, The DaVinci Code and my issues with it. Okay, I had to get it out of curiousity!

I'm officially addicted to books-please someone, please stop me. I can't stop going to the library, Barnes & Noble, and now Ludington has a used bookstore, which I love...not good. Not good at all. Oh well, guess there are worse things, right? Oh yeah, wouldn't want to forget my writing bookclub...yikes!

I'VE BEEN TAGGED!

2006-04-19T05:30:00.000-07:00

I've been Tagged
Ok. This is the first time I've gotten tagged in bloggyland. I got tagged by http://beneaththeivywreath.blogspot.com/ to tell six random things about myself, and then tag six more people. First you post with your six things, then you go to six other blogs and let them know they are tagged and to find the details on your blog. So here goes:
*My favorite hobby is genealogy (other than writing :)
*I am one of those low carb and low sugar freaks
*I love chocolate-see how I contradict myself :)
*I am inching closer & closer to 40
*I love my RV and vacationing in Ludington MI
*I am addicted to books & writing

I'm tagging Dave, Dana, Joy, Diane, March, (not sure if I can do the same as you Cindy, but don't have a ton of blogger pals...

Time!

2006-04-06T06:54:00.000-07:00

Why doesn't there seem to be enough time in the day? If I do find time, I'm too tired to accomplish everything I want. Yikes! One might consider this a sign of unrest, but I sincerely have so many things that I want to do. And although I am quite busy, I am at peace most of the time.

I try to organize and prioritize (as I've mentioned before about my writing projects), but I'm talking in general now. Let's face it, writing is only one small part of my life. I talk about writing quite a bit here, but I have so many other interests. Trying to prioritize and make time for everything just seems harder at this point in my life. I didn't have time to think about my priorities before because I had so many immediate needs that were obvious. Now I can pick & choose a little bit more, but then I'm unfocused.

My children are getting older so it should be easier, right? Not happening yet. Of course they are still living at home. I don't see any changes in the amount of laundry, that's for sure. ;)Remember washing the little ones clothes, maybe you're at that point in your life now, enjoy it. At least the clothes are small. :) Towels, towels, towels...I ought to have nightmares about dirty towels squeezing the life outta me. There is always a load that needs to be done.
But, I digress.

I'm going to try a schedule or goal list of some sort to list everything I want to do and see what happens. I hate to resort to list making because I think we are robbed of some joy if we get too carried away with just checking off the lists in our life. But I'm going to give it a try and see what happens.

Here's what I'm thinking on days I don't have anything scheduled in the Evening during the week:
8-4:30-Work ;)
4:45-5:00pm-Pick up Cody from practice. Ask about his day etc. Any homework?
5:00pm Dinner/misc chores-dishes, sweeping etc.
6:00-Check with Cody to make sure homework is being done or done. Game?
Misc chores-check on laundry, bills/misc paperwork, check schedule for next day to see what Cody is doing in track (practice or meet), CS/church duties (any cards to mail-anyone to check on?)
8:00-Spend time with Cody-ask about homework, play a game, if he will :) Watch television/read newspaper? Relax...Start looking at writing projects or read one of my books.
9:00-Writing/Devotional-will need sep outline writing project needs and devotional time. I'm currently working on a study guide on Luke. I normally spend an hour on that daily.
10:00-Television program/news-misc. writing if not too tired. Check emails. D. Check schedule for the next day.
11:30-Night night time

Weekends...that's a whole different world...that's when I do the most of my chores (too long of a list) and writing projects. With so many other things to do, it's extremely hard to focus. Can't plan ahead too much. I try to plan at least one thing together each weekend with Cody-he's a teenager so it's tough. This Friday, I'm talking the afternoon off and concentrating on just him! I'm taking him shopping for a few things he needs, going out to eat and to a movie. Tough to do at this age, but I feel it's very important! I'm trying to hook up with my daughter this weekend also-we need to connect.

Of course this is on non-track meet days . Then everything shifts by at least two hours... See my problem??

How do you fit it all in? Any suggestions?

AGENT NEEDED!

2006-04-06T06:49:00.000-07:00

Fellow bloggers,

I need your help! Do you have any recommendations for an agency for a children's book that I'm working on-possibly illustrated, not sure on that yet. I'm in foreign territory here. I have the Writer's Market book that I'm searching thru right now, but it would help to have a recommendation! I also have publisher listings but most do not accept unsolicited works.

Any suggestions?? Your help would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks in Advance!!

-Lisa

A writer's journey to becoming published: Critique & Hope

2006-04-01T11:32:00.000-08:00

Crit, crit, crit...it only seems appropriate I bring this up since I am receiving critique on my story, "Big Girl" with mixed reviews today. What a rush! This comes after my posts on "triggers" and the need for writing practice. Big Girl came from the trigger, "Dancing in the moonlight" for one of the challences at the Notebored. I received critique there right away and with their encouragement, I revised for what I thought would be a final draft. Stop there?

The Process-
You could start sending your story out to as many places you can find. But is that the best way? Not to get sidetracked but it's important to target your submissions to the proper genre and markets. This is assuming you know what your work is already: short story, flash, non-fiction, anecdote, novel etc.) No need to send your short-story to a magazine that doesn't print them. Sounds simple right? Nothing in the writing industry is simple-that's for darn sure. But after you've pin-pointed down your genre and market(s), this is the perfect time to post your final draft with writing groups. Stop at just one? You could. But I don't.

Background-
I had submitted Big Girl to two magazines previously but one rejection came back about a month ago, stating it was too long for their needs. After that, I figured I'd better d.check it with the Notebored again. I'm still waiting on the other magazine, but it too will probably reject the story. After receiving more feedback, I revised- yes, again. I decided to give this draft a shot with the critters at SS_Main (yahoo) writing group. I am still receiving crits today as I type this. Awesome.

Why take the abuse?
I just can't express to you how important it is to get your final draft in front of at least one writing group that you respect. As I've stated in another entry, it's a tough process especially on your first writing group submission, but the rewards are longlasting. Although my previous published works hadn't been critted, I am a firm believer that for fiction, it is a necessity.

Let's face it, we can get too attached to a story even when it's fiction. Maybe the grammar needs a second look. Wouldn't it be nice to know if your readers care about your MC? Does that analogy work or is it cliche? There are so many areas that need to be assessed for overall balance. And remember, "The flaws are in the writing, not the writer." p14-Getting Published, Paul R. Martin

What story?
Yeah you know that story. The one you want to see in print with your name in big bold letters-you can admit to me. The one you just can't let go. On certain days, you want burn it, hit the delete button sending it to another world, but you can't. You want to submit it somewhere, but you're just not sure it's good enough. Well, it probably isn't-YET. Get that story in front of a group and see what happens. Even if the crits are tough, which to be honest, they usually are. It is always helpful. You may not agree with all of the feedback (I guarantee you won't.) but when you really think about what people have to say, you'll notice that you're learning about what readers want and not what you want. Sometimes we're in tune with what our readers want and sometimes not.

Hope-
There is hope! The story that won't leave you alone is the one that needs to be published! I'm still working on it, but I am hopeful that my short stories will be published. Pick your genre/markets, making sure word count is accepted and story is appropriate for the markets you've chosen, get your final draft in front of critters and polish with an unbiased POV. And then submit to appropriate places. The Writer's Market book is a must for this point in the process.

So what's stopping you?

WWW.NOTEBORED.COM Check it out!

Enjoy the Journey!

Lisa goes wireless!

2006-03-31T06:45:00.000-08:00

Well, something good came out of my computer crashing! I finally got motivated to go wireless. I now get on the internet from my laptop! Awesome! My laptop didn't have a modem so I couldn't even hook up to our phone line for dial-up. So this is so much better!

I highly recommend this if you're using a laptop that isn't currently hooked to DSL already or doesn't have a modem for dial up. Even if you do have a modem, this way is so much faster. Do I know how to do this? Heck no. I know you need certain equipment, software and of course DSL from a main computer already. Just get yourself a nice little techie, and he'll fix you up-well, for a small fee anyway.

I love it!

Practice, practice, practice...revised

2006-03-30T05:22:00.000-08:00

Hi Fellow Writers/Bloggers~

We know, as writers, that we need to practice writing to improve our writing skills. We know this. But sometimes trying to find something to write about can be challenging. Because I've learned how to use various triggers to help start a story, finding a subject to write about isn't a problem. I might have a problem once I've been writing for ten years, but since I'm such a newbie, my problem is lack of time and talent more so than from lack of ideas.

I wanted to pass along some of my ideas to come up with triggers to start my stories. Keep in mind that some stories are just for practice. I post stories for critters to critique knowing that it isn't good enough to be published. Why? The learning experience. I learn from others who will take an unbiased look at my work and head me in the right direction. Not to get off subject, these writing groups, as I've written before, have flash challenges that help to get you writing in no time. There are also many books that explore various trigger starts-I have two for reference if I want a challenge.

I've found something else very useful though. My own memories/experiences. I highly recommend making a list of all of your favorite/impressionable memories/experiences whether from childhood or adulthood. From these memories, you can list keywords/sentences to describe/summarize your emotions. All of these will give you enough raw emotions for many stories to come.

Examples:
Cross Country camp: The accident (tears, heart racing, fear, friends, sirens/bright lights), pain, running on muddy trails, fun times-eating pizza, loyalty/teammates...
Grandma & Grandpa's House in Hopkins: Smells of the kitchen from Grandma's baking/cooking, Bible School learning about God, fun on Grandma's bike, spooky attic door, books and more books to look through, dollhouse, love, first kiss...
Campground-Campfires, square dances-fluffy colored skirts, wheelbarrow races on fun-day, campstore (candy galore)...
Apple orchard-scraps (squishy apples), burning leaves, ladders, bins, crates, mice, hot sun, sweat...

You get the idea. All of these can be used as story triggers/starts!! And this is with only four events/memories!

Happy Writing!! Enjoy the journey!!

ps-after reading Diane's comments I realized that I'd neglected to fine-tune this!

When tapping into your memories/experiences, the nice thing is that it doesn't need to be non-fiction! A great work of fiction can be started by one of our own experiences and an inspiring theme can easily be established!

I first started writing all non-fiction based on my experiences, but failed at first to see how these could be used as triggers for works of fiction whether short stories, flash-fiction and yes, even novels!
This makes for a more power-packed, emotional piece!

Baby Boy-

2006-03-20T11:14:00.000-08:00

I need to decide whether to have my baby boy take drivers training this summer. It was hard signing my daughter up about six years ago, but my last baby?? This is tough stuff!!

I asked my son if he wanted to take drivers training this year, and he seemed hesitant. I must confess I was happy. Maybe he won't want to drive this year, I thought. Maybe not ever. My lips turned into a grin. Oh wouldn't that be sweet.

My baby turns "15" this June. It's just so hard to believe!

But as I pick him up "yet again" from track practice, I think to myself, "oh yeah, he's taking drivers training this year all right!"

How fickle mothers are! Or at least this one anyway.

Getting Focused!

2006-03-20T05:56:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday fellow bloggers-

I consider myself a fairly organized person, kinda, sorta...I'm detail oriented and set goals. I love to research and keep good notes. The writing business should be right up my alley, right? Well, it would be if I had all day & night to spend on my writing. But, I don't. Who does?

I mention this because I spent part of my weekend trying to get my writing projects organized- "again." I can't seem to keep my head above water with all of my projects. My New Year's resolutions are already coming unraveled as time escapes from me. I'm trying to write new stories from trigger challenges as part of one of my writing groups, keep organized with drafts and crits I've been receiving from critters as I re-write my current stories, and of course help crit other stories as part of writing groups I belong to. This is on top of trying to keep my blog updated and keep my logs for submissions updated. Oh, and I can't forget to fit in working full-time, raising a family and staying active with church activities and praising God! (Oh yeah, I always have to fit some sort of daily reading: The Holy Bible, Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis and I'm trying to start another fiction book-key word, trying.) How does one do it all? I often wonder. Yes, I do prioritize-there are so many other things I want to do that aren't even mentined here.

Over the weekend, I had just enough time to get my work organized before I got too tired to do housework and other responsibilities (notice the order of things :) I did revise a couple of stories only to read more crits and decide to change/revise "again." It's enough to drive me to hitting the delete button on these stories, for sure.

But, something keeps me pressing on. I don't know what it is. There is a burning in the belly desire to keep up the madness, to push it to the limit. To be heard, to be known? Or is it all about self expression? Or have I just finally lost my mind. I just don't know.

But, I'm already thinking about a new story to write. Now, to find the time... :)

I'm hoping ya'll can relate to this in some way-please share your day/weekend with me.

Take care and God bless!

Computer - Up & Running

2006-03-20T05:40:00.000-08:00

Just to give anyone who cares :) an update on my computer. My techie was able to save all of my files-I have some slight browser issues with some things now but that's minor compared to the previous week.

Contest Updates:

February Winner-Diane! Pls check out her site: http://prayingforaprodigal.blogspot.com/
Diane, just email me privately at lbraendle@aol.com

March Winner-March St. Ives when she links to the site! http://tea-tyme.blogspot.com/

Thanks to those of you who support this blog!!

Have a Blessed Day!

-Lisa

COMPUTER CRASH!

2006-03-14T12:06:00.000-08:00

Howdy fellow bloggers!

Well after all of these years, I FINALLY did it. I pushed my computer over the edge. I made it crash & burn...I wanted to add further insult and throw it outside, but I restrained myself.

What happened? I am too fearful of those stupid automatic updates etc. My hubbie normally handles this silly stuff at home but he's on the road. So...to make a long, disastrous story short, I stopped the update mid-way thru and according to my husband, created a world of hurt. I said, "nah, it's fine." Well, the next day, it kept crashing, and I couldn't even use the go-back feature. Help me, dear Lord. Keep in mind that I'm an office manager and deal with computer issues there. Why is it when I get home, my brain shuts off for the computer stuff? I just don't get it.

Okay, so now I'm trying Nerds 2 Go, and praying that the tech does a good job...he's "trying" to save all of my files. It's amazing how much we rely on this silly thing. I mean, I have so many files, it's hilarious. I have family trees that represent many years of research etc., too many stories I've written and many family pics. Yeah, I know, we're supposed to back this stuff up and my hubbie does this but he's been busy so it hasn't been done in 6 months, which creates some havoc. Even when I get my computer back, it might be awhile before I have internet access so my blogs will be limited as I will only have access at work. So...don't forget about me.

This started out to be a short blog, really... :)

Enjoy the Journey
(I'm trying, really I am :)

February Contest Winner Announced!!

2006-03-11T13:00:00.000-08:00

Hello fellow bloggers-The winner for February Contest is Diane from http://prayingforaprodigal.blogspot.com/ Check out her site! Diane, just email me your address and pick from the following: Lists to live By-For Everything that really matters Or Craft & Technique, which includes 300 tips etc.

Congrats to Diane! I'm really glad that we found each other & don't forget to check out her blog-it's a good one!

Yes there will be a March contest!! So you newbies out there, leave a comment on one of my posts and link to my site-first one, wins the contest!

Thx for stopping by!! Pls don't forget to comment before you leave!

-Lisa

One Simple Sentence Asks it All-

2006-03-08T19:15:00.000-08:00

Prayer of Jabez-1 Chronicles 4:10

O that you would bless me indeed,
And, enlarge my territory,
That your hand would be with me,
And, that you would keep me from evil,
That I may not cause pain,
And God granted his request!

Such a tiny little prayer packed with the perfect request to God. Raw emotion.

I remember when there was a big hoopla over Bruce Wilkensen's book of "Prayer of Jabez, Breaking through to Blessed Life." Honestly, I didn't really think too much about it-a small book, a small prayer. But when I read the prayer when preparing for a new small group, the message hit me. It hit me hard. I was not praying for blessings for me and my family, not like I should. Sure, I pray(ed) for the normal things. For strength, guidance and protection for family, friends and the church etc, but I was not asking God for real blessings!

Bruce defines as follows, (p23): "To bless in a biblical sense means to ask for or to impact supernatural favor."

Okay, I pray for blessings for people when they are ill and dying but every day? Pray for extraordinary things to happen every day? Amazing, miraculous blessings for me? My family? Friends? No, I wasn't; but I am now!

I am praying with more expectation and faith that God will answer my prayer for blessings, expanded territory, for his hand to be with me, to keep me from evil, to prevent me from causing pain and believe that he WILL grant these things according to his will. I can ask for the miraculous things that only GOD can deliver for me and my loved ones and for the world I live in-I can expect great things from God!

Maybe this all sounds trivial. I mean it's not that I didn't believe in miracles or ever pray for them before. I do believe in angels, miracles and God's desire to grant our prayer requests, but not to the degree that Jabez prays for in his simple request before God.

This prayer and group study has really helped me improve my overall attitude about my daily life whether it's dealing with loss of a loved one, dealing with illness or with missing my spouse and dealing with the day-t-day struggles and frustrations of wearing many different hats from one of mother, daughter, friend, colleague, child of God and the list continues.

So what is this simple request all about? It's about asking God for supernatural goodness and protection that only God can bless us with. Things that we just cannot accomplish on our own. I now pray this prayer and my own version of it every day.

I hope you will too!

REJECTION!

2006-03-07T07:19:00.000-08:00

First Draft-as not to forget my thoughts...I will be revising this post...

When you see that word, what do you visualize? Anything in particular come to mind? Maybe a past relationship? As we enter Lent Season, I just can't help but think about the rejection that Jesus must have felt from some of his friends on that fateful day, all those years ago near the time we now call Easter.

Yesterday, I received my second rejection (in two weeks) for a story submitted, and I can't help but feel just a little down about it. Yeah, yeah, I know...it's just a part of the publishing world-part of the game. I'm not even submitting as much as I could be so shame on me, but I still have expectations that have not been met. I feel just a little rejected by a world I so much want to be a part of. Was this what Jesus experienced but on a much greater degree? I think he must have.

I think I can put my rejection into perspective as I can only imagine Jesus being led up that hill to that cross for my sins and my ultimate redemption. I like to focus on the good of Easter, but let's face it, there was a lot of bad along with it. So much sweat, blood and tears-none which even compares to the rejection I've felt in my short writing career. But it does make me think about Jesus, the man, who felt tremendous pain and rejection, and all for man...for me.

Writing Group to check out! Revised

2006-02-27T11:49:00.000-08:00

On the subject of Writing groups (see previous post and comments), please check out the following web site for more info on a cool writing group I belong to:

http://www.notebored.com/

http://www.notebored.com/board/index.php Updated: Try this link for more info:

It has something for everyone so check it out! There will be new instructions how to register (join) this group hopefully over the next week or so. This front page DOES NOT show all of the sections! There will be an email listed so that you can ask for your invitation code that is needed for registration. Once your registration has been approved, you'll be able to log in and see all of the sections. This is for tighter security to protect our privacy. For more info, please see me!

There is also a blog starting up to explain some of the features/benefits of this group (still starting), so keep an eye on this over the next few months:

http://www.notebored.com/noteblog/

Free Newsletter-

2006-02-21T08:05:00.000-08:00

Hello fellow writers-

To subscribe to The Writers Gazette, a free (ezine) newsletter, and to check out a good site for writing info., please check out:

http://www.writergazette.com/subscribe.shtml

I normally don't like signing up for free newsletters, but this one is jam packed with contests, submissions info, tips, and misc. tidbits! I look forward to receiving it!

Happy Writing!
-Lisa

January Contest Winner! February Contest!

2006-02-20T08:28:00.000-08:00

Fellow bloggers-
Contest updates:

Dave has graciously accepted the Nora Roberts book so I will be sending that out to him shortly!! Congrats Dave!

February contest is still up for grabs! I'll find a couple of books for the winner to choose from and post real soon.

Diane, do you have a blog yet?? You'd be the winner for February if you get a blog and link to mine! Just let me know!! You'd be an awesome "blogger!" :)

Have a great day!!

What keeps you going?

2006-02-19T12:40:00.000-08:00

What keeps you going? This morning, the pastor asked me (& the congregation of the church I belong to) this very question. The question and his sermon couldn't have come at a perfect time for me. (not unusual)

You see, for several months, my life has been in an upheavel of sorts. I've handled unforeseen problems fairly well, but recently I've found myself fighting symptoms of depression.

In the face of adversity, I tend to be reserved and become closer to God. I lean on him for constant support, which is a good thing of course. But lately, I've noticed a slight reservation even in my personal relationship with Jesus. I know he's with me, but as I'm confronted with daily battles, I find myself withdrawing even more. Sure, I'm still fulfilling my resonsibilities, but at times, my joy has faded into mere existance. Maybe for self preservation like keeping my hands over my head to keep from being bombarded by life's worries and disappointments.

I've been through this before. I know the signs of depression, but it has taken me a couple of months to acknowledge it. So, back to the above question. What keeps you going?

Wow! What great timing. Why you ask? Well, the answer to the question is quite simple actually. My life isn't about me and the things of this world. It's about what my paster calls, "hidden treasure." It's about what is unseen instead of what is seen. The pastor reminded me that the power of God is in us, and we will have a great peace even amongst great struggles. Apostle Paul understood this all too well. Paul writes in
II Corinthians 4-7:11:
"But we have treasures in jars of clay to show this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus sake so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body."

This is a power-pacted message! This life isn't about me. It is all about the glory of God. I have life to help spread the good news and have great power from God to overcome my hardships.

II Corinthians 16-18
"Therefore we do not lose heart though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is seen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

This is my answer to the above question, "What keeps you going." Why not let Paul answer it for me? He certainly had seen more troubles in his life than I'll probably ever see, and if he could write these words while living with his own pressures of spreading God's word and dealing with imprisonment and beatings, I know I need to do what Apostle Paul did all those years ago.

I pray to overcome adversity with my eyes fixed on Jesus and the new world to come, instead of concentrating on the ways of this world.

God is good.

Hidden treasure include:
Great Peace, Great Presence, Great Proclamation and Great Potential.
Look to the Lord for yours today! Better than all the riches in the world.

Thank you Lord for my life and help me to appreciate all of your wonderful blessings.
In Your Name I pray,
Amen

Writing Groups-Good or Bad?

2006-02-16T05:52:00.000-08:00

Good day fellow bloggers-

It seems as if I've been a part of writing groups all of my life when in actuality, it's only been six months. Why am I bringing this up? Well, to fellow inspiring writers, I wanted to encourage you to join a "serious" writing group when you have something you want to submit to the publishing world.

The good part of honest critique should be common sense. It helps. You will learn. I guarantee it. There are so many little things to accomplish for a piece to "work". Having other unbiased input is crucial. We all need help in determining what works and what doesn't with whatever we're working on. That doesn't mean that the writer must agree with every crit, but it often sparks new ideas and a different approach just might be needed. The past six months have been very instrumental to improving my writing skills, I think better than any writing class could accomplish. And the best part is the writing groups I participate in are free!

Okay for the down side. Thick skin. Gotta have it. The critiques normally aren't pretty, especially for newbie writers like myself. The first crits I had on a story were, how shall I say it? Harsh? Terrible? Crushing? Or somewhere in between? I felt many emotions, but bottom line, they were helpful and necessary for improvement. It was a reality check. I needed to work much harder than I thought I would. But, am I better for it? You bet. I received so much helpful feedback, it was amazing. And of course I still am.

So today's tip? Get your work out there! I know, I know...it's tough. It gets personal. What? Personal? I thought writers weren't supposed to take these things personally? Well, guess what writers are sensitive souls. We do take a harsh crit to heart, but with time and experience, we do adjust and we do learn. And then the coolest thing happens, you start to help other people with their writing as well! Now, that is fun. ;) It's interesting that we can find so many other flaws in other writer's work when our own looks just fine. This is why critique is necessary.

Well, I hope I have encouraged the nervous writer out there to submit one of their works to a writing group out there and haven't scared anyone instead. Oh and one more thing, find a strong, supportive, honest critique group. Keep an eye on the posts for awhile (most require crits first anyway) before posting so that you can get a feel for the experience and the type of crits being offered. You'll know whether it's for you or not. I belong to four but only two am I very active with, depending upon the type of project I'm working on.

There are different writing groups depending upon the writing project you are working on so make sure that the group will review and crit the type of work you need assistance with.

Go ahead, try it! Need help? Just email me.

Happy Writing!

He remembered!

2006-02-09T06:35:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to post an updated that my hubbie called me from "the road" at noon yesterday to wish me a happy anniversary! Good man. ;)

One extra thing. I wanted to post a link to a site discussing Estrogen Dominance etc to go along an earlier post. www.womentowomen.com/menopause/estrogendominance.asp?

And hey Dave, please email me on your book, k? Let me know which one you want and need your snail mail address also. February contest details to follow later...

Have a good day!
-Lisa

21st Wedding Anniversary-

2006-02-08T06:17:00.000-08:00

My hubbie and I celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary today. We'll see if my husband remembers. He's on the road driving so we'll just see if I get a "Happy Anniversary." My husband and I are actually high school sweethearts and have been together for approx. 23 years. Whew...I can't even imagine being married for 50 yrs! How do people do this? But, we're on our way...cane and all.

We're officially an old married couple. Happy Anniversary to me *us* :) There I said it to myself just in case my hubbie doesn't. He is coming home this weekend so I can clobber him then. ;) I'll let you know if he remembers!

Have a good day and thanks for stopping by!

-Lisa

School Projects-

2006-02-08T06:00:00.000-08:00

On the lighter side today folks, I thought I'd share with you my experience with my son's school project last night.

I helped him pick out a recipe from Venezuela. It was a corn cake of sorts. My mom brought over her trusty blender, (no, I don't own one ;) My son placed all of the ingredients including creamed corn, sugar, a touch of flour, eggs etc.-sound good? Not really. Oh and don't forget vanilla to taste...whatever that means.

Anyway, he placed the ingredients in the blender. I pushed the blend button and mixed the concoction into a yellow mess. I poured the "batter" :) into the pan and placed in the over at 350 degrees. We kept an eye on it, surely we did...we watched it bubble and wave up and down, not a pretty sight. We didn't think it would ever take shape enough to cut into little pieces. After an hour of baking, it was still gooey on the inside and outside. We let it cool for a couple of hours and were able to cut into little pieces, but it was still more like a souffle type consistency. I thought about doing another batch. Nah...this is what it's supposed to be like, so be it. The idea is to show different dishes, well, he will show his fellow classmates this for sure. ;)

So you're probably wondering, if it was any good. And you know...it wasn't too bad! It was like a bread pudding or something-at least it had a cup of sugar in it-ha!

Gee, what will I get to do tonite?? :)

Enjoy the journey!
-Lisa

January Contest!

2006-02-07T05:16:00.000-08:00

Dave has asked if Izzy wants to link and win the contest, but...I haven't heard from her!

Izzy, please let us know if you want one of these books by linking to my site.

I'll make final decision based on what Izzy wants to do on Weds 2/8/06! Thanks Dave!
(ps-Dave, I've emailed you "again" on this.)

February Contest-2006

2006-02-05T09:25:00.000-08:00

We could have a new winner if Izzy reports in as linked to my site! She is the first newbie to reply to one of my posts!

I haven't determined the books to choose from yet-depends on what Dave picks first and then I'll come up with another choice.

Thanks for all of your support! Please refer others to my blog and I'll do the same!

-Lisa

January Contest-

2006-02-05T09:23:00.000-08:00

Hey Dave, Guess what? You won another contest! Pls let me know which book you want: Lists to Live By-"Not just about things to do; they're about how to be."

OR...Night Tales By Nora Roberts.

Just let me know! And email me your address!

Thanks for your support!

Hormone Balance-

2006-02-04T14:24:00.000-08:00

This post is especially for you ladies out there (and for you guys with ladies out there).

I found a very informative book called, "Hormone Balance. A Woman's Guide to Restoring Health and Vitality," by Carolyn Dean, MD., N.D.

I have been researching the effects that sugar and various chemicals/toxins have on our bodies. This book covers these issues and much more regarding hormone balance. This book explains what ideal hormone balance looks like, how other factors contribute to imbalance and how to correct that imbalance whether by diet, exercise, fixing particular hormone imbalances etc.

I highly recommend this book for anyone wanting more information on how to help symptoms caused by PMS (including breast tenderness, abnormal periods etc.), perimenopause/menopause/postmenopause, bone loss, yeast infections, and other misc. issues. I'm really not doing this book justice by just listing these things because it covers so many different female health concerns.

If anyone wants a search of this book on a particular topic, feel free to post here or email me. Or run out and get your own book. It is $15 at Barnes & Noble and very well worth it. I'd put on as an option for the contest, but I'm keeping this one with my reference books.

It's really a book that every woman should read at some point because it explains so many different areas relating specifically to women. You won't be disappointed.

Tip for the day: Don't forget to grab a bottle of water and laugh, laugh, laugh!

Happy Monday!

2006-01-30T05:47:00.000-08:00

Tips for fellow bloggers-

Have good tips to share with the public? Make sure to check out your favorite magazine(s) who probably accepts "tips" to publish. I'd been paid $25 for a tip from Woman's World. It is easy and fun. Just think how many of these you could do?

Trying to get published for the first time? Try your smaller magazines that you receive on your favorite hobby or interest. They often have opportunities to share your experiences. (Pay not too shabby-I've been paid as high as $50 for a short non-fiction piece on my genealogy experiences.)

My tip for you-

Do you have a creative side? Scrapbook those memories by updating photo albums and scrapbooks with a flare, (see any photo scrapbooking store for ideas!) and share with family when you celebrate family birthdays, various holidays etc. Okay, so you don't want to spend hours on this? Just place in photo albums and share! Or guess what? You can even stick them in a photo box and tuck under your arm as you head to your next family gathering. It will create great topics of conversation and is sure to put a smile on everyone's face. What good are pictures if we don't ever share them with our family?

Family reunions are a great place to share achievements and pictures. For a lot of fun, bring out those old pics you haven't looked at in years. It brings back so many wonderful memories.

Enjoy the Journey!

Lies, Lies and More Lies~

2006-01-27T06:06:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday to fellow bloggers~

Pls see right side of my blog for link to article on James Frey and Oprah's shock about finding out his book was based on lies. I'm curious to know what writers think about this. We all know that anecdotes sometimes stretch the truth for better reading, but memoirs? And I'd say this is a case where the truth hasn't been stretched but not told at all. Are there any laws to this fraudulent behavior or is it okay to betray millions?

I'm not saying he should be prosecuted even if there is a statute to uphold, but I'm curious anyway. If I bought and read a book that I believed was the truth and then found out it was a lie, I'd be hopping mad. I haven't read his book thankfully.

What say you?

American Idol-

2006-01-26T05:14:00.000-08:00

I know I shouldn't. Nope, not going to stop there...keep clicking...almost...oh no, I just can't do it. The remote rested on my lap as the channel stopped on FOX last night-this has happened surprisingly two days in a row.

Yes, I'm one of those freaks who loves the hit show, "American Idol." My daughter usually asks me once a year why certain people try out when they are so terrible. I told her I felt that some people honestly believed they should follow their dreams, and I can't say that they're wrong. I would hope someone in his/her family would tell an individual he/she didn't stand a chance, but it's hard to stomp on other's dreams. Well, maybe not for Simon Cowell, but that's for entertainment value, I'm sure (I'm hoping anyway.) I start to feel sorry for some of these people not moving on to Hollywood (the next step), but I'm sure they have watched the show before to know that the judges are rude and tough. I'm not familar with auditions for singing, but I can't imagine they are for wimps. So...are the judges tougher this year? Are they just mean (directed at Simon)? Is it all fake or are some of the feelings real? I find myself asking these questions while I watch the show.

Although I'm sure there are better things I could be doing with my time-loads of laundry, quality time with my son, baking cookies. I do have my computer on my lap, but I'm not actually writing anything. Darn. I tried. So I lie on my couch like a sloth and continue to be entertained by bad singing, rude and darn right obnoxious behavior. Is that all there is to it? But wait. Then there is that one singer that your heart really goes out to. The one you know could be the one and then the dream is once again alive and well-that's a good thing right? I think so. Maybe the show could be less "Hollywood" or should I say, less "FOX." Would it be a better show-probably, but I still like it. There I said it, "I like American Idol." One more of my flaws, I guess.

Sooooo, what do ya'll think about the show in general? Do you like it, hate it? Is it better or worse this year. Is all the rudeness fake? For entertainment purposes? Why do you think people go on these shows when they know they can't sing? To be noticed? I wonder.

Have a good day and Enjoy the Journey...

On the Sentimental Side~

2006-01-20T11:42:00.000-08:00

I know it's a little late for this article, but I've been thinking about writing this since I decorated my Christmas tree this year! This is a first draft that I'll be working on to submit to a genealogy magazine later this year. Think I have time? :)

A memory and story in every Ornament-

I’m probably the only person who does this, but each year as I put my kid’s homemade Christmas ornaments on our tree, I think back to the year that each one had been made and visualize how that child looked right down to a particular outfit and even the words he or she spoke during that period of time. You know those delicate the ornaments made of clay, paper and even pretzels! I treasure them all.

But, this year it was even worse. When I placed each homemade ornament that had been passed down to me on the tree, I thought about what my ancestor’s lives must have been like.

My mind traveled back to another time and place as I placed an ornament my paternal great grandmother, Linda made over 75 years ago. Do you remember the handmade ornaments? This ornament made painstakingly by placing sparkly bead after sparkly bead with stickpins placed through the middle into a Styrofoam ball and then lined with felt. Light shines through the pink and purple beads creating a shiny ball of light. Stunning.

As I hold an ornament made of yarn that my maternal grandmother, Virginia was well known for making, I remember her smile, laugh and even the smell of her. I could see her with big goofy sunglasses, striped socks and long dangly earrings along with her wavy gray hair in disarray. I remember the smell of homemade goodies of fudge, peanut brittle, thousands of different kinds of cookies and cakes. Oh, I can smell them all now. How can one little ornament have such an effect?

Of course that made me think of my maternal great-grandmother, Lizzie whom I’d never even met. Really, I don’t know why. But, I did. Maybe it was the Christmas picture frame ornament with a picture of my mom at a young age that made me think about it. My mom was named after her. I wondered what Lizzie’s life was like. Family tradition tells me that Lizzie worked hard to support her family by washing laundry for others in a large round tub she placed on the stove. She had to support her family when he husband left her with many small children to take care of on her own. During a diphtheria outbreak, she took two of her young girls to the hospital, but they died shortly thereafter. Then, two other children came down with the illness, but instead of taking them to the hospital, she decided to keep them home to care for them on her own. Lizzie nursed them back to good health.

Even commercial ornaments hold precious memories. My family has given me numerous ornaments that represent different phases in my life. Various shaped ornaments for the births of my children and others in the form of angels, which I love. I could go on and on. I’m sure others do this, right? Well, I could just be a tad bit sentimental.

But let’s face it; this is only a small glimpse into my family, and there are obviously so many others I think about. I wish I could really go back through time to see how my ancestors lived, but I can’t. I’ll have to settle for Christmas tree ornaments that keep traditions and wonder alive as I continue searching for more stories to bring to life.

###

My Absence-

2006-01-18T06:59:00.000-08:00

Sorry I've been lax again on my blog. My husband's step mom, Carol passed away last Weds so it has been a crazy week. She was not only a step mom to Paul but she was a long-time personal friend of the family. She fought a courageous battle against cancer for almost two years. She was a fun, warm and witty women who loved her friends and family very much and showed this as often as possible.

I have been writing when I can late at night-trying to finish up final drafts on a couple of my short stories. One more pass through writing groups and they're off to the publishing world! Then let the rejection letters fly ;)

Please keep stopping by!
-Lisa

JANUARY CONTEST!

2006-01-06T07:48:00.000-08:00

Be the first newbie to comment on my post(s) AND link to my site this month, and you'll win this month's contest. If a newbie doesn't post in the month of the contest, then the first person who posts and has linked (or links) to my site, will win.

The winner may choose one of the following books:

Lists to Live By-"Not just about things to do; they're about how to be."

OR...Night Tales By Nora Roberts.

Thanks for stopping by!!

NEW CONTEST WINNER!! REVISED!

2005-12-31T09:10:00.000-08:00

I've searched high and low for her first name, so for now, the winner is "Beneath the ivy wreath!" She is a newbie to my blog and has linked to mine! REVISED: I can now add, her name: Cynthia!

If anyone else new has linked before this and hasn't notified me, please let me know!!

Congrats to Cynthia! And, check out her newly designed blog:

http://beneaththeivywreath.blogspot.com

I'm really looking forward to getting to know her better!
Happy New Year to All!
-Lisa
ps-Dave, I think we have another recruit for Writers in the Mist! Sorry a newbie took your place as the winner-hope you understand ;)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2005-12-30T12:23:00.000-08:00

Monthly contest still open unless Porchwise notifies me of a link to my site. If a newbie hasn't linked this month, I think Dave can pick his book. I'll wait for Porch to let me know though.

Porch, if you've linked to my blog, please email me your snail mail address and let me know what book you want (see previous contest blog for selection ;) so I can send out to ya.

Thx for all those who support my blog! Take care and God bless!

SKETCHY ROUGH DRAFT-A CHRISTMAS MEMORY

2005-12-29T10:57:00.000-08:00

Short fiction:
A Christmas Memory-

Marie scurried to the mailbox just outside her little house. Slowly opening the mailbox, she peered inside from a distance as if something might jump out at her. Nothingness stared back. She shivered as the December winds blew through her thin bones. Hustling back inside her house, she made her way into her tiny box living room, which also served as her dining room. She had everything she needed there. Inches in front of her, a couple of crossword puzzle books, her ashtray and remote control sat on her little wooden coffee table. She looked at the snow-covered trees outside her window, not even one bird perched there. She lit up and grabbed the control as she did every day.

It was Christmas, and she had checked her mailbox every day for the past month and nothing but bills had taken up space in the little box. She didn’t care if she was cut off from the world. True, Christmas was a time for family and friends and fruitcakes and Christmas trees and fa la la la las all around, but who needed it, she thought. She watched the Christmas Day parades on the television set located just across from her on a little stand. No matter, it is what it is, she thought.

Marie had family, but they were all in different states. She stared at the T.V as she remembered a different time and place as her children squealed in delight as they looked inside their stockings for oranges, walnuts and candy canes galore. She always had homemade goodies carefully placed inside as well as a special little present. She could see their bright eyes widen in delight as each item was yanked from the stocking. Marie’s heart raced when watching them and her heart raced as she remembered them. But, that was a long time ago. No bitterness. No tears. Just loneliness. No matter, it is what it is, she thought solemnly.

She was startled out of her thoughts as she heard her doorbell ring. She sat for a moment as she wondered if she was hearing things. It rang again. She stretched and yawned. Marie pushed up with her arms using the coach to assist her, and slowly walked to the front door. Peering outside, she saw before her very eyes, kids and adults and everything in between with their red noses and scarves and hats to keep them warm in this cold weather of Strafford, NH. In a daze, she stood there and glanced around as if she was losing her mind and tried to grasp her surroundings. And before she could get her thoughts to work for her, her grandchildren and children pulled open the screen door and rushed in hugging her, grabbing at her.

“Grandma!”
“Hey Ma, sorry we didn’t call. We wanted it to be a surprise. You were probably pretty mad when you didn’t hear from us, huh?
Marie stood there with hands on wide hips.
“Ma?”
As Marie moved back to allow her family to pile into her little house, one tear slipped down her cheek. I guess it did matter, she thought as she followed them all into the little room. After all, Christmas is a time for family and friends and such. She smiled and accepted the hugs of her grandchildren with a twinkle in her eye.

###

House of Pain-Short Story-REVISED OPTIONAL ENDINGS

2005-12-26T19:07:00.000-08:00

With a steaming cup of coffee in hand, I stepped inside and sighed and looked around the spacious yet empty living room of the cute bungalow I’d just purchased. A new day had dawned and like the bare walls and rooms would soon be filled, I hoped that some day that I’d be filled with peace and fulfillment. After everything I’d been through, I needed a purpose for living.

Shouts from outside my little house interrupted my thoughts. My best friend, Kathleen yelled at the driver of the moving truck. I walked onto the porch and had to smile. Kathleen, with her red hair blowing in the wind, motioned for the driver like a traffic cop, to stop as the truck approached my front steps. Over the past year, she’d helped me through some tough times.

Kathleen and I, along with the two hired movers, started unloading items from the truck. As I moved one of my items, I accidentally bumped into the young surly, dark-haired man with a grumpy disposition. To be fair, he could’ve been grumpy because I’d just about knocked him over with a brass lamp. But when we brushed up against each other, there was a brief, strong connection like lightning bolt to metal. Static electricity? Whatever it was, it was powerful.

He looked into my eyes. I looked into his. His blue eyes shimmered and flashed sparks like fireworks on the fourth of July. My heart raced and I stood frozen, speechless. Kathleen bumped into the other young man with a big box hard enough to force both of them to drop what they were carrying. Both men cursed in unison. Kathleen and I shrugged our shoulders in unison.

All of a sudden, the black sky lit up and a crack of thunder roared to the accompanying pounding rain.

“Okay, everyone stop,” said the annoyed callous, dark-haired man. “We have one too many hands in the pot here. Why don’t you ladies take a tea break or something?” he said as he placed a small duffel bag on the porch.

The other man, short and stocky, stopped and smirked. “All right, Steve. I think they get the point,” he said shaking his head as he brought in more boxes.

Finally able to speak again, I said, “Yeah, Steve, we get it.” I wasn’t too happy being told what to do. “Anything else?”

“Nope,” he said not looking up as they moved my lavender loveseat into the living room. “Nice color,” Steve muttered.

“Were you commenting on the color of my furniture?” And, as the movers walked across the creaky wood floor, I heard a long drawn out moan coming from…somewhere. I couldn’t tell for sure where. Now, I’m hearing things, I thought.

“It is a little bright, isn’t it?”

“Well I like it, and that’s all that matters. Come on Kathleen,” I said with determination, “we can start unpacking dishes while the big stuff comes in.”

As I turned the kitchen lights on, lamps busted and shattered to the floor.

“What the hell is going on? Man, it’s pitch black in here.”

"We just need to replace the lamps, Missy. Don’t get all worked up. Do you have a flashlight?”

"Yeah, somewhere. I pulled a box from under the sink. “Here’s one. Isn’t it strange that they would all go out at the same time?”

“There might be a short in your wiring or something,” Kathleen added as she looked up at one of the ceiling lights. “You shouldn’t get stressed. Remember what your doctor said. Maybe we should take a break and get something to eat. You’re too thin for that tall body of yours.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. I ate earlier. Anyway, I’m a cancer survivor remember?

“I’ll get the broom,” Kathleen said shaking her head as she made her way to the closet.

I walked back into the living room and noticed that each time Steve came in with another box or piece of furniture, he looked around as if hearing someone calling his name.

“Everything okay?”

He hesitated. “Yeah, why?”

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost or something.”

He stared at me, face tense and tried to speak but was hoarse. After clearing his throat, he said, “Of course not.”

“Did you hear anything when you were bringing in the sofa?”

“Yeah, but not sure what.” Shifting uncomfortably, he placed his fingers through his wavy, brown hair as he looked around and added, “I need to bring the rest of your things inside.”

I looked for anything unusual throughout the rest of the house, which didn’t take long with only a few rooms to walk through, and still wondered where the noises were coming from. The floorboards? Actually, the moans and soft wails were coming from everywhere. As rooms filled, one by one with my belongings, I felt pain filling the air. Suddenly, I bent over and put my hand across my abdomen.

“Hey girl, what’s the matter?” Kathleen asked.

“I feel terrible. Must be nerves.”

“Sit down on the couch for a minute. You look as white as a ghost,” she said as she sat down next to me.

“You’re working too hard. Maybe this move was too soon after your surgery.”

Subconsciously, I touched my old t-shirt that covered the empty place my right breast used to be and said, “Why do you need to bring that up? I’m trying to put the past behind me." And as I lay down on the sofa, I heard them. Heard the scratching, the scattering. I felt them. Felt the restlessness, the anger. My head pounded and beads of sweat covered my body. I placed my hand over my mouth and ran to the bathroom, just in time to let go of the contents of my stomach into my very own toilet. That’s great, I thought. Just great. I’d already had my share of vomiting over the past few months.

Steve walked in as I strolled out of the bathroom, just in time to catch me wiping saliva off my face with a hand towel.

“Not feeling well?”

“What makes you ask that?”

“Ah, well…nothing. I just thought you looked…under the weather.”

“Heard any other noises?” I asked hoping for subject change.

Steve looked down at his work boots. “Maybe. You?”

“Come here and sit down,” I said as I put my hands on my ears. “Do you hear anything?”

He sat down for a minute, rubbing his square skin and said, “Yes, I know what they are. You’re not gonna believe me though.”

“You know what they are or who they are?” I muttered. I began to think that I was on the show, Candid Camera. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

“Both. I’m here to help you with more than the moving.”

“What are you talking about?” I paced the floor, back and forth, looking up at the ceiling, not finding any answers there. “You’re freaking me out more than these voices or noises or whatever the hell they are.”

“Look, I can’t explain everything now. Can you ask your friend to leave? I’ll stay behind so I can explain what is happening.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. Then, it’s just you and I? How convenient for you. Do you see blonde roots?” I touched my short, spiky brown hair for added effect and continued, “Well, there aren’t any. So whatever you’re trying to sell, I’m not buying. Got it?”

He just sat there. Probably thinking of his next move.

“I’m going to get the last of the furniture, and then send Paul on his way so I can explain this to you.”

“Fine, but Kathleen stays with her cell phone nearby.”

“Okay. Don’t you sense a connection with me?”

"Yes,” I mumbled wrestling with my emotions. “What does it all mean?”

“Your house is in pain because evil spirits reside here. Our combination-your goodness and my sensitivity is pushing them over the edge.”

“What sensitivity? This is insane,” I said standing up too quickly. Feeling dizzy, I fell to my knees and covered my face with shaky hands. “I just don’t understand.”

“I know it’s a lot to take in, but I am telling you the truth. We need to cast these spirits out to the place they belong.

“We?”

“I need to perform a small ritual, but we’re in this together.”

As they talked about the plan, the house became a place of misery. Water poured down the walls of each room like tears of a forlorn lover. The cries and moans became loud. The power surged on and off.

“Come on Missy, this is crazy,” Kathleen demanded with hands on wide hips.
We both watched as the picture window fogged up with big letters spelling, “get out,” that cracked down the middle in a zigzag shape. Death and dirt and rot floated out of all the air ducts filling the rooms like dread filled my soul.

“All right, that’s enough. We’ve got to leave. Now.”

“You go ahead, but please don’t tell anyone,” I begged. More lamps blew out, splattering glass everywhere. The floorboards lifted up in places and flapped up and down like a seesaw.

“I can’t leave you!” she said standing close to me.

“Yes, you can,” I said hugging her tight. “ I trust this guy. Now, go.”

As Kathleen walked out the door, and she turned back just in time to see the heavy wood door slam behind her so hard that she lost her balance and tumbled down the steps. The door locked as she got into her car and left.

After pulling a note and a candle out his duffle bag, he said, “Okay. I think I have everything ready. First, we need to hold each other and…”

“Embrace? Get real.” I heard a loud crack when the ceiling split and pieces of plaster landed just inches from us. I looked up at the hole in the ceiling and said, “All right, let’s get rid of them.”

He lit the candle and wrapped his muscular arms around me like a warm blanket. I could feel Steve’s firm body under his flannel work jacket. As Steve read from a small piece of paper, I felt an odd sensation and warmth spread from my toes to my face. A rush of air pummeled into us like a huge wave, which knocked us down. Steve grabbed me again, which caused blood to rush to my head. I would have fallen straight to the floor if Steve hadn’t caught me.

One by one, the white streams of mist followed the fog-like entities like the tail and string trailing a kite, twisting and twirling as they rushed through the house, up and down encircling us, then swirled between us pushing outward, but we held on. All except one finally screeched past us and found there way out of the house by any opening they could find.

“Help me,” in a child’s voice, the little stream of haze said. “I don’t want to go.”
“Are you sure this is an evil one? I whispered.

Ignoring her, Steve yelled, “Demon, be gone!” And with the wave of Steve’s hand, the swirling haze raced past us and flew through the electrical outlet and was gone.

“Is that it? I asked quietly, out of breath from holding it for who knows how long. And as I asked the question I knew the answer. The silence was beautiful. I took a deep breath and exhaled sweet, fresh air. The house had stopped crying, but it needed some serious repair work. The apparitions were gone.

“Why were they here in the first place? And how did you know what to do?”

“I am one of the keepers.”

“The keeper of what?”

“The secrets of the dead-good and evil.”

“So why were they here?”

“I did some research on the history of your house so I’d know which spirits we were dealing with. These particular evil spirits were organized and sneaky. They found a loophole, for lack of a better word, and escaped the road to hell and from the one who seeks them. There was a madman who had lived here at one time and blood had been splattered here. Badness can be felt. And so they came here for refuge.

“Who is after them? Not the dude with red horns?”

“Something like that. I think these souls have been hiding out here for quite some time. This little place of yours has changed owners many times. At one time, there was a madman who had lived here. Blood had been splattered here. The essence of evil resided here so what better place to take refuge.”

“Well, are these spirits where they belong now?” I asked as I bit the edge of my fingernail to shreds. “Are there others like you?”

“I think they are on their way. And yes, there are many others like me. I’m part of the secret group that helps keep things in check between the good and bad spirits. Have you ever heard of the Manichean struggle?”

“I don’t even understand what you’ve asked me.”

“Do you believe in good versus evil? How about heaven and hell?”

“I don’t know, but after this experience I’m a step closer to believing. I only have one more question, for now. How did you know that spirit was really evil?”

“I just knew. Evil surrounds itself with evil. Good surrounds itself with good. Normally. And in time you will believe.” And, looking into my eyes he took my hand, and said softly, “I need to be going. I have more work to do, but I’d like to see again.”

I smiled. “Sure, just as long as no spirits are involved.”

He grinned and said, “You’re a survivor and have a goodness about you that is known in our circle. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re called upon in the future by our group.”

“Who me? A keeper or whatever? I’m just taking life one day at a time. But, I guess I could help kick some ghost butt if necessary.”

He lightly kissed me on the check, and for a brief moment, I closed my eyes. When I opened them, he was gone.
OPTIONAL ENDING#1:
I didn’t tell Kathleen everything that had happened, but at least I knew why I got such a good deal on my house. And, as the sun once again shone brightly outside my windows, I thought life might be worth living after all.
OPTIONAL ENDING#2:
Twist Ending-Noticing the front door slightly ajar, I slammed it shut. As I went to the kitchen, a breeze passed through me several times until it finally rested within. I knew what needed to be done, but I wondered if I’d found my destiny after all.

###

The End

Holiday Wishes-

2005-12-16T07:48:00.000-08:00

I've been struggling with something my Pastor commented on last Sunday in his sermon. He mentioned (as he does this time of the year) how it frustrates him to see so many "watered down" versions of ways to extend our salutations of Christmas wishes, such as "Happy Holidays, Merry X-Mas, etc." I thought about this because I am big on generic greetings, especially Happy Holidays. I wondered if I did this to be politically correct. I searched my soul hoping that wasn't the case. At work, I need to sign for our company Christmas gift of Mixed Nuts and I always sign, Happy Holidays. I would have to admit that was probably the case subconsciously, since I don't know all of the religious beliefs of our customers. But when I use the generic with family and friends, it is more out of laziness to cover all of the holidays than anything else.

It bothered me, though. If this is the case, how am I letting others know about the celebration of Christ and how much CHRISTMAS means to me? If I can't even sign a card with Merry Christmas any longer, what does that say? I didn't like my own answer to that question. So, I say to all of you, no matter what your beliefs are: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOURS!!!

I want to proclaim my reason for celebrating Christmas is JESUS, JESUS, JESUS!!! I AM SO THANKFUL FOR HIS BIRTH AND HIS GIFT TO ME.

Okay, there I feel a little better.

Fire of My Soul-By L.Braendle

2005-12-08T16:58:00.000-08:00

Until last year, I never thought about what a soul might look like, let alone my own. But when my boyfriend, Steve and I rented a cottage in Iron Mountain, Michigan, I surely found out.

Mile after mile into the gray and gloomy night we traveled. As snow piled up around us, I quietly slipped further into depression and wondered if we should’ve just stayed home and faced reality. We passed old junk cars and run-down buildings-all ugly like my mood. The paved roads turned into icy, muddy trails, and I could only imagine the appearance of our black Honda Accord.

Steve, the rugged handsome type, looked like a handyman, but wasn’t. We’d been dating for about a year and made a good couple. Both of us were in our mid-thirties, had crappy childhoods and tried to be good people.

Unfortunately, we stopped trying to be good. I guess our parents told us we were bad, one too many times. Anyway, we scammed people out of money. Young or old, it really didn’t matter. We weren’t prejudice.

After Steve had driven several hours, we finally arrived at the bottom of a driveway where a sign read, “Welcome to Haunted Hill.” He looked at the sign, and then at me. He raised his eyebrows.

I shrugged my shoulders. Interestingly enough, ever since I spotted the ad in the local paper, I felt a strong connection to the place, like a long lost friend calling out to me.

Tree branches swayed and scraped together to the rhythm of the gusty winds as we drove up the winding trail, which led to the cottage located a few miles back. Our car tires spun as the hill became too steep, and slowly, we slid backwards sideways until we hit a large oak tree. Thankfully, we escaped any major damage and pushed the car to the side of the road.

Opening the door, Steve said with a frown, “That’s as far as we go.”

“What? Not up for an adventure? Grab our bag and let’s walk the rest of the way.”

“Are you sure you’re up to it? he asked.

Out of habit, I touched my stomach. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

On foot, through the howling winds, I thought I heard a voice. We approached the cobblestone cottage and cleared fallen tree limbs to reach the front door.

“So, this is it,” I said, shivering.

"Does it even have electricity?” Steve opened the creaky door and muttered,

“Lacy, what have you gotten us into?”

We moved about the room, which didn’t seem much bigger than a large bedroom. I pushed past the cobwebs and sat down on a soft, red sofa and dust puffed into the freezing air. “Man, it’s cold in here.”

“I’m going to check outside for wood,” Steve said, rubbing his hands together.

I spotted a fireplace along the far wall of the small living room. Floorboards squeaked as I walked back to look at the old paintings that lined the wall, and as I walked past the stone fireplace, a voice whispered, “Come to me.” I’m losing my mind, I thought as I started to move away.

Unexpectedly, flames shot out at me like projectile vomit from a baby. I jumped back to avoid being scorched and screamed as I ran for the door.

Steve gasped when he walked in and saw my face ashen and hair askew. “What the hell happened?” He dropped the wood and pulled me close.

“Flames came out of that fireplace, Steve,” I said shakily.

“But, I didn’t start a fire yet.”

“I know. It started by itself.

He walked arduously to the fireplace, which was cool and still. “I don’t understand.”

“Steve, maybe this place is haunted.

"You’re kidding, right?

“How else do you explain it?

“I don’t know,” Steve said, putting his hand through his wavy hair.

“See Steve, there it goes again!”

“I don’t see anything,” he said through gritted teeth as he stared at the fireplace. “We need to get out of here.”

“Don’t you see the flames? I can’t leave yet.”

“This is crazy,” he said walking over to me. “You’re not thinking clearly. Ever since the…”

“Don’t say it, Steve. This has absolutely nothing to do with that. I need time to figure this out.”

“I’m going for a walk. Be ready to go when I get back.” He slammed the door on his way out.

I looked into the red and yellow flames, and there before my eyes was a face. Not just any face. But mine. And, it called out to me.

“What’s the matter, Lacy? Haven’t you ever seen your soul before?”

I fell to the floor, gasping for breath. “How is this happening? Who are you?”

“I am your soul.”

I lowered my head to my knees and screamed like I’d caught fire. “This isn’t real. You aren’t real.”

The face snarled and a large piece of ember flew out and landed on me. “Why did you do that?” I asked as I swiped at my jeans.

“I’m trying to get your attention. I am very real. You need to believe me when I tell you that if you don’t stop living an evil life, you will destroy yourself.”

“I don’t know how to do the right thing any more. Don’t you understand?” I said with my face in my hands. “It’s too late for me.”

“It’s not too late. It’s time you take responsibility for your life.”

Tears streamed down my face as I whispered, “If you are my soul, then you know that I killed my baby, and there isn’t any fixing that.”

“You had a miscarriage. It wasn’t your fault. But, you can change your life for the better. Do you want to change?”

“It was my fault,” I cried. I lost my baby because I’m a bad person.

“Your actions are bad. You are not. Again, I ask, do you really want to change?”

“Yes,” I said.

The face slowly faded and murmured, “Don’t worry. I’ll be there to help you. Just listen to me.”

Steve walked back in to find me lying on the sofa. I told him the story about my soul and the fireplace. He thought I had fallen asleep and thought the dream was a sign that I needed to change my life and realize that the miscarriage wasn’t my fault. He even promised to change, too.

There was only one problem with Steve’s theory. I hadn’t fallen asleep. But, I did want to live a better life. That was a start.

###

Draft Two-The Secret-

2005-12-02T11:17:00.000-08:00

Trigger -Three can keep a secret if two are gone-

The Secret-

Eight-year-old Dorothy slowly brushed off the dirt and unwrapped the velvet cloth to reveal an oval mirror with a small, blue handle that she found in the woods right next to her house. She thought it was just a regular mirror. But it wasn’t. She stared into the cloudy mirror and could not put it down. Excited, she twirled round and round as if she was on one of the amusement park rides her Grandpa had taken her on.

Dorothy would not go anywhere without that mirror. And, after a few weeks, while playing with her friends, Teresa and Heather, she gazed into the mirror like she had done hundreds of times. Suddenly through swirls of haze, Dorothy saw a face. It was the face of a young girl, around the same age as Dorothy, with hair like the color of butter.

“Who are you?” Dorothy whispered to the vision.

“My name is Elizabeth.”

“Why are you in there?” She said as she turned her head from side to side to see if her friends were watching. They were busypicking flowers.

"I can’t get out. What is your name?”

“My name is Dorothy. How did you get in there?” She asked as she twisted the ends of her hair.

“I found the mirror a long time ago. I got mad and wished I could go somewhere else, and then poof, I was in here.”

"Where did it come from?”

“It was in the woods by my house. I wish I hadn’t ever found it.”

“I wish I could help you,” Dorothy said.

“But you can. You can wish your friends were in here and they’d be here, and I’d be free.”

“I can’t do that!”

“You’re right. That was a pretty stupid.”

“I’m sorry,” Dorothy said as she rubbed the mirror, and hoped the girl could feel her touch. “Can’t we be friends anyway?”

“Okay. Sure,” said the porcelain face of pain.

Dorothy and Elizabeth had many conversations about dumb boys and how Dorothy didn’t like her Mom and Dad telling her what to do. But, Dorothy's friends soon became jealous of Elizabeth and even threatened to tell their parents about her.

Dorothy panicked and didn’t know what to do. She knew she’d be in trouble or worse that her new friend would go away. Suddenly, Dorothy thought back to the conversation with Elizabeth.

She could wish her friends were in the mirror instead. That would work, she thought. Wouldn’t it? It had to. That’s when she came up with the plan. That same day, she invited her friends over for a sleep over.

"Hi guys,” Dorothy said with a nervous smile. “Want to play a game?”

Teresa and Heather looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. “Sure,” they said in unison.

“Why not,” Heather said without much enthusiasm.

“Great. Okay, this is what we need to do. First, I’ll blindfold you both, and then we’ll play a kind of hide and seek. Are you ready?

They both nodded.

She tied a scarf to cover their eyes, and placed the mirror in front of them and muttered, “I wish Teresa and Heather were in this mirror.”

Upon hearing Dorothy's words, Heather and Teresa quickly tore off the scarf. All of a sudden, Heather’s face contorted into something wide and long, and then into something short and narrow as did the rest of her little body. Wide eyed, she howled and turned translucent as the mirror’s power finally pulled her in.

“Help me, Dorothy,” Heather cried, “What is happening to me?”

“Don’t worry. It will be okay in a minute. We can still be friends.” She secretly hoped so anyway.
Teresa started to run away as tears streamed down her face, but didn’t get far. She screamed and tumbled to the ground. Her body elongated and shortened simultaneously, back and forth, she stretched. It reminded Dorothy of the time she was in a funhouse when she stood in front of the wavy mirrors that made her body look weird. In the end, Teresa could not escape the mirror’s strong grasp, and she was sucked into the mirror.

However, when Dorothy looked into the mirror, she could not see her friends. However, she did see Elizabeth.

“Now what? Why didn’t you come out?” Dorothy asked.

“I don’t know. Something went wrong. You’re friends couldn’t stay here. They had to go to another place.”

Shaking and shivering, Dorothy stood on the cold, hard ground. “Another place? What do you mean another place! I thought they would be okay in the mirror so we could at least still be friends. What happened to them,” she demanded.

“I just don’t know, Dorothy. I’m really sorry. I just want to get out of this mirror,” Elizabeth said, as her face wrinkled and brown spots started to spread across her face while her once light brown hair turned to a dull gray.”

Dorothy dropped the mirror and ran and ran until she couldn’t hear Elizabeth’s screeches any more.

“Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me like all of the others. We’ll figure it out together… come back. Dorothy…come back to me.”

That’s all Dorothy heard as she ran as fast as she could back to her house. She slammed the
door and didn’t look back.

Several years later, she did go back to those same woods. And, she felt its power. She lie on the ground and scattered the dried leaves in the area she’d dropped the mirror. She lowered her head, and silently wished she could find the source of her nightmares and the answers for peace of mind.

“I wish I could find my friends,” she said aloud as she pounded the ground in frustration. Heart racing, her face suddenly widened and in horror, Dorothy touched her face.

"Oh no, no…no…no…," Dorothy cried as her body transformed into something between time and space.

“Your wish is my command,” Elizabeth whispered.

And before Dorothy knew it, she was inside the mirror with her friends, and far off in the distance, she could see a once again, young Elizabeth.
###

Dec. 1 Practice

2005-12-02T07:04:00.000-08:00

Who am I?

I laugh. I cry.
I have brown hair. I have gray hair.
I’m at peace. I’m worried.
I am dressed in sweats. I am dressed in high heels and a long black gown.
I’m happy. I’m sad.
I am a Mother. I am a child of God. I’m a wife.
I’m a daughter, sister, friend, colleague and more.
Who am I?
I am only myself.

I am strong. I am weak.
I am smooth faced. I am wrinkled.
I am a hard worker. I am lazy.
I’m nice. I’m not who I want to be.
I’m simple. I’m complex.
I am wonderful. I am terrible.
I’m nothing. I am everything.
I am only myself.

I am who I am and no more.
Who do you want me to be?

Daily Writing-Nov. 30

2005-12-01T09:31:00.000-08:00

Dear Lord,

I know you want me to grow.
I stumble and cry.

I know you want me to be a better person.
I stumble and cry.

I know you want me to do your will.
I stumble and cry.

I know you want me to be happy.
I stumble and cry.

I know you want me to help others.
I stumble and cry.

I know you want me to love others.
I stumble and cry.

I know you want me to be good.
I stumble and cry.

Help me Lord as I stumble and cry.
I am afraid.
I am weak.
I am trying.
I love you.
In Jesus Name I pray,
-Amen

Daily Writing for Weds, Nov 30

2005-12-01T09:19:00.000-08:00

The Box-Written by Lisa Braendle

I glance out the window in my living room and see really big snowflakes coming down from the sky. It makes me want to make a fat snowman. My hands and chin are propped on the windowsill waiting for Christmas to begin.

I look at the clock and the hand isn’t moving at all. I know it’s not because I’ve been staring at it, and if that hand is moving, it isn’t moving fast enough. I felt like this on my last birthday when I turned six years old. Daddy says I’m a big girl now.

My eyes dart back and forth to the street in front of my house. Where are they? This isn’t good. Not good at all. Suddenly, I see something coming down the road. This must be the one. No, no, no! Not the neighbor’s big old truck. I think it’s ugly, especially now.

My face is pressed up against the cold window as I try to look down the road further when finally, I see glaring lights approaching through the falling snow. Please, please, please…let it be the right one this time. Yea, they’re here, I say to myself as I jump up and down. “They’re here,” I yell now so the whole world can hear me. Well, okay, so my family will hear me anyway. My heart is thumping so fast, I think it's coming out.

I race to the big front door as fast as my little legs can carry me and run right into my brothers who have heard the commotion, and we tumble on each other like that game called Dominose or something like that. I glare at my two younger brothers and push my way past them to get to the door. My tummy starts to rumble and tumble, like I’m getting ready to get in front of the class at school.

I fling open the door just in time to see the box. It’s only the biggest box you’ve ever seen. It must be 200 feet tall. It looks just like last year and the year before that. No, wait…it might just be bigger than that! I don’t think my Grandpa can carry it, but he does. He must be really strong. He drops the biggest box ever at my feet with a grin on his face. My face lights up like the thousands of lights on our Christmas tree. I know what’s in that box. Can you guess what’s in there? Extra water fills my mouth as I think about it.

Okay, I’ll tell ya. Millions and millions of goodies. Gooey cookies like chocolate chip, oatmeal and raisin, peanut butter and smooth chocolate-nut fudge and every kind of sweet you can think of. Peanut brittle? Yup, it’s in there. My brothers and I scoot down in front of the box after it has been placed on a nearby chair. We also see presents wrapped in reds, greens, and gold colors-bright and glittery with big, bright bows on top being brought in.

My mouth hits the floor, and I quickly close it because spit starts to fall out from smelling Grandma’s cookies. I just want one. I yank on my Mom’s apron and beg. She says no. Man, I just gotta have one. Each little goodie has its on little box, whether it’s a shoebox or a Tupperware container. I lift one of the lids as I look over my shoulder for my Mommy or Daddy, but no one is watching. Daddy and Grandpa are still bringing presents in from Grandpa’s truck, and Mommy sighs. My brothers are putting the presents under the tree. They hold and shake presents as they laugh and try to guess what the presents are.

Smiling, I open the lid and inside are the bestest looking cookies in the whole, wide world. I grab one of the chocolate-chip cookies and take a big bite and crumbs fall to the floor.

Oh sorry, do you want one?

The end
Freestyle writing 101 at home! ;) Fiction based on happy Christmas memories.

Challenge for Myself!

2005-12-01T06:17:00.000-08:00

My goal is to post something daily! This will encourage me to keep writing on a daily basis! If you stop by and there isn't something new, you make sure to let me know ;)

Keep checking for new material and let me know what you think!!

DECEMBER GIVEAWAY!

2005-12-01T06:07:00.000-08:00

Okay, I went through my library and here is the list that the winner of the December Giveaway can choose ONE (1) from:

A Cup of Comfort-filled with anecdotes and short stories. Good to read over a good cup of joe or a hot cup of tea.
OR...
Lists to Live By-"Not just about things to do; they're about how to be." Description from cover.
(Misc lists to live by.)
OR...
Night Tales By Nora Roberts

How to win?
First Newbie to my blog who comments on my posts and links to my blog will get his or her choice of one (1) of the above. Or, if a newbie doesn't comment during the month, the first blogger who comments and has linked to my site in the past will win.

The contest officially starts Dec. 1st at 9AM EST...I keep my word, just ask Dave or Dana!!

Happy Posting And Happy Holidays!

DECEMBER CONTEST-STARTS DEC 1!!!

2005-11-30T06:31:00.000-08:00

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR THE LATEST GIVEAWAY TOMORROW. I'LL BE POSTING THE BOOK/ITEM THAT I'M GIVING AWAY FOR THE DECEMBER CONTEST. FIRST NEWBIE (STARTING DEC 1) TO COMMENT ON A POST AND LINKS TO MY SITE, WINS!

IF A NEWBIE DOESN'T POST (BOO HOO), THEN THE FIRST PERSON WHO COMMENTS HERE AND LINKS TO MY SITE GETS THE BOOK! SIMPLE!

DON'T FORGET!!

ENJOY THE JOURNEY!!

Peace-Short Short by Lisa Braendle

2005-11-29T19:44:00.000-08:00

Tall, wet grasses brush against my old cotton sweats as I run, slipping and sliding on the slippery trail. Branches from large old trees bend and twist as I make my way alongside the stream, which is partially frozen with water still flowing.

The scene of the stream, the glistening trees and squirrels scattering as I press forward should comfort me. I yearn for comfort. I race to find it. But, peace does not come to me. Instead, I picture strands of cobwebs filling a deep empty abyss that should be a normal functioning brain. My eyelids feel as if lead weights have been attached. I stop running and wipe beads of sweat off of my forehead. I close my eyes and take a deep breath filling my sore lungs with sweet, fresh air, exhaling to the point of a sigh.

Why can’t I escape my body and rise high above the trees to the heavens and leave this pain behind? I wonder. And, I want to continue my run. I want to scream-the kind of scream that hurts your throat and takes your breath away. Instead, with heavy tight shoulders, I fall to the hard, icy ground. I sit in a pile of coldness and look at the whiteness and wonder how it can appear so bright when all I really see is a blackness that won’t go away.

An imaginary mass of misery and darkness swirls above, through me and finally rests on my shoulders. I can’t touch it, but sense its long, sharp teeth ready to devour me like the big bad wolf in an old nursery rhyme, which actually reminds me of another time and place-my youth and happiness, now a thing of the past. The powerful pull of restlessness takes over. A single tear falls down my face. No more will follow. Tears won’t take it away. I know.

This thing of unrest and heaviness consumes my thoughts. I want to grab and shake this endless stream of emptiness and loneliness. I want to place this crazy ball of destruction into a sling, fling it over my head and watch it sail.

I stand and spin round and round, hold my head and yell, “Move on! You can’t have me. I have so much to do.”

Only silence follows. This is all too familiar.

Little gray and white sparrows flutter in the trees and bushes next to me and somehow, I know the cloud of gloom will not pass until it has dumped its ugly contents on me. I shudder and feel goose bumps rise and scatter across my skin.

I sigh and remember I’ve run into the forest near my home and know much time has past as I see the moonlight peaking through the snowy twigs. I notice puffs of my breath steaming the air around me.

A light crunching sound nearby behind me causes my whole body to stiffen. I hold my place, too afraid to move. And, suddenly I see them. A wide-eyed doe and her fawn nearby standing motionless and staring at me. And for just an instant, the burden once weighing on my shoulders has been lifted. Once again, I remember what peace feels like, if only for a brief moment in time.

The end

One of those weeks!

2005-11-19T13:08:00.000-08:00

Boy Oh Boy, when it rains, it pours...all when my hubbie is on the road making feel just a little bit vulnerable. I can't even tell you the day it all started, (possibly Tues), but the week started to go downhill quick. And, I don't just mean the number of days left in the week.

I grumbled to myself as I looked at the clock and it read, 7:00am. Oh no, I thought, as I strained to hear any signs of noise in the house. My son was not up yet, which meant he would mostl likely be late. I probably didn't wake up as normal because we had 50-60 mph winds the night before, which made the bushes scratch the window on the outside of my bedroom window that kept me awake.

I rushed to his room, rustled him up, and he rushed to the bus stop. I hopped into the shower thinking all is fine since my fourteen-year-old doesn't come back so I thought he made it to the bus stop on time. But evidently he thought he had missed the bus and came back home the same time as my twenty-year-old daughter was leaving for a college class so she took him to school. He realized there was no school because of a power outage. A good Mom would have checked the TV for any closings, right? To my defense, I don't ever remember this school system ever closing for a power outage. In any case, my daughter drove by school to get him as she realized the power was out also, and we saw each other just as we drove away. We stopped to talk with one another. She spouted off about our needing to check these things better, she now was late for class, and stated angrily that she had a test. I raced home to drop him off at home so I could get to work by 8:00 am. Yes, this is all happening before 8am.

I got to work at 8:10am, and I saw the Consumers Power trucks out and realized that my work building was too without power. Now at that point, I know I should have stayed in bed. I told my colleague that I was going home and since he was staying anyway, he could call me when the power came back on. So I went home and had a cup of tea and breakfast. No problem, the day went all right after that.

The next day, I awoke at my usual time and was actually on schedule until I looked outside and saw 7 inches of snow outside, which meant my car also had 7 inches on it. So I trudged along and tried to open my car door and realized quickly that the door was frozen shut due to the icy snow mix on the car. So...I tugged, I pulled. I cussed. I stomped. I pulled again. And, finally the door opened. Of course, I had parked close to the grass on the side as I pulled into the driveway the night before so I could maneuver the trash can up to the house, making the whole scraping of the car a wonderful experience as I stood in a big pile of the white stuff, which was obviously high enough to get into my shoes, soak my socks and drench my dress slacks. Again, all before 8 am. Well, okay, I thought...no biggie. The day goes without a major catastrophy, but as I go to leave, I noticed that once again my car was covered in an a icy-snow mix. I scrapped a little of my car, but it was really cold so I blasted defrost to help with the front windshield. Forgetting the ice had frozen the blades to the windshield, I turned on the wipers full blast and watched in somewhat of a daze as my wipers broke off at the end and flopped back and forth in what I thought to be a mocking motion, like ha ha.

There was more, but the icing on the cake from hell was waking up on Saturday morning and deciding to go to the store and library with the son. Upon starting the car, it only whined and would not start. So, I called my Dad to help. And he does what needs to be done to troubleshoot the problem, which I had surmissed was the battery, and thankfully that's all that is needed. (Thanks, Dad!) So, it is busy charging now, and I think, boy, do I need the same thing!

Today I've been thinking that instead of trying to battle everything on my own. I need to call on the Lord to rejuvinate my wearied soul. I can once again handle the stress of the day. Most times, I try to handle everything on my own. I think God might be reminding me that I can't do it all. And, I need to ask others for help! (My Mom tells me this, too :) (Thanks, Mom.)

So when you're having a day or week like mine, remember to ask for help when it's needed and most importantly, seek out the Lord for help and for strength!

Please feel free to share some of your own "fun" stories for the week!

Inner Child-Short Story-REVISED

2005-11-11T11:28:00.000-08:00

As I watch a television program with a cup of soup in hand, I suddenly hear the rustling of leaves outside my little house. I push myself up from the couch and stand slowly to check on the noise. There better not be any hoodlums out there. I hobble to my large kitchen window and peek out to the yard below.

I see tree branches stretching and swaying to the wind as if dancing for the moon. And, there is a dark-haired girl with a porcelain like face illuminated in the moonlight staring back at me. Even from a distance, I recognize something familiar about her.

As I look around the yard, I hope that I’m imagining things-not unusual a woman of my age. But as I turn back, I have the little one in my sight again. She looks as if she’s waiting for something or someone when suddenly she points in my direction and motions me with the wave of her hand as if to say, “come to me.”

I squint to see her wave more insistently and take a step out the side door. What am I doing? I think as I walk out onto my old wooden deck and swing open the squeaky door to steps leading me to her.

Breathing hard, I approach the little girl. My heart races like I’m seeing the birth of my first-born. Yet, I know this isn’t my child. As I stand only a few feet away, she sets her eyes upon me, and tears stream down her rosy cheeks.

Cool breezes blow through my thin, gray hair, and for some reason, I sense we are long lost friends who have been out of contact for a long time.

“What do you want little one? Are you lost? I ask as I push strands of hair out of my wrinkled face.

“It is you who is lost.”

“No, honey, I’m home. How did you get here?”

“You know.”

“I don’t know. Do you know where you live? Where do you belong?”

“You know,” the little girl replied.

I wrap my hands tight across my chest for warmth and to stop the goose bumps from spreading. She walks toward me-this little one who is only four or five years old. And she reaches for my hand with her tiny warm hand, soft like a baby’s bottom. And her young, smooth hand intertwines with mine, which is now old and hardened.

She and I walk across the yard and smirk at each other like we can read each other’s mind. We see the playground at the school about fifty yards away, and this little friend of mine leads me down the sidewalk to the swings there. In the still of the night and with leaves falling all around us, we each hop on a swing pumping our legs back and forth reaching higher and higher like we’re trying to reach the moon. While in mid air, we glance at each other and giggle. And as I smell the crisp smell of dried leaves, I figure it out.

She stops swinging for she knows that I know who she is. She jumps off the swing, runs and jumps on me, hugging me. And not one of those polite hugs you give your Aunt, but the kind that takes your breath away. And as I gaze into her little hazel eyes that are just like mine, I say,

“You are me, and I am you.”

“I am you,” the little one whispered.

“I needed to see you again, didn’t I? I had forgotten about your pureness and your free spirit. We parted ways many years ago.”

She takes my hand and leads me this time to the slide, and we climb up. She slides down first, and I go next feeling the wind rush over me as slide down. I smile. My heart leaps for joy as I plow into myself. We became one.

And as I skip little steps back up the hill to my house, I breathe in the cool damp air reminding me that fall is here. I walk through the dewy grasses of my yard, and remember everything about her. Suddenly, I am young at heart once again.
###
Flash fiction Written by Lisa Braendle

December Contest!

2005-11-11T07:07:00.000-08:00

My monthly contest will be up and running for the month of December starting on the 1st of Dec. so keep an eye out!

Here's a quick refresher how the contest works: First person to post a comment on my blog AND links to my blog in the month the contest is running will get a free book.

I will be posting the name of the book that I'm giving away shortly! Ask Dave and Dana-I keep my word!

And, if no "newbies" post & link, then I'll give the book away to the first "regular" who has linked to my site and has commented in December! I hope this makes sense. I have other posts on previous months if you have any questions. I need the snail mail address of the winner at the end of December!

Happy Holidays and God bless!