Tuesday, March 18, 2008


As Good Friday and Easter rapidly approaches, I find myself getting excited.

You see, I take time off from work and have a day just for me and my Lord on Good Friday, every year. I'm so looking forward to devotional and prayer time just with my Counselor and Mighty God, and then a little time for my writing, for much needed peace. I usually try to fast as well, and while I don't want to seem ready for a pat on the back, I just can't keep quiet about my enthusiasm for spending one-on-one time with my Savior.

I'm counting down the days and just wanted to share how enthusiastic I am about making time to concentrate on reading scripture and getting close with the Risen Lord and Savior! I can't wait...

And then in my bitty brain, I wonder why I need to wait until Friday?

The Thirteenth Tale By Diane Setterfield

It's funny, but for some reason, I just haven't read a really good book in months until, "The Thirteenth Tale," by Diane Setterfield. I know I'm really late in reading this book, out in 2006!

What an an awe inspiring novel, a wonderfully written tale. As the story progresses, it invokes so many emotions. I found myself relating to the wonderful main characters and others as the plot of the story unfolded. So many questions unanswered throughout and when all were answered at the end, it was total satisfaction. This novel includes a hint of ghosts, misplaced identities, lives revolved around books, books and more books. I felt if it was a match made in heaven; I was one with the story.

The MC, Margaret Lea works in her father's book store and is haunted by an event in her past. One night Margaret receives a letter to visit the home of a famous author, Vida Winter, in England, to record her autobiography. Vida Winter, the author, tells her story between battling a terminal illness, layering stories within stories piquing the curiousity of Margaret and readers.

It is a must read, but one warning. Please make sure you have time to read this because you won't be able to set down this powerfully rewarding piece of literature.


Hello fellow bloggers,

My last blog was about anxiety...yuck!

I am happy to say that I am on the road to recovery, and although I do have times of anxiousness (who doesn't?), I have not had any more panic attacks--Praise God!

I found on the Internet a website from an author who talked about the fact that we have control over panic attacks. Of course he has a book that I haven't ordered about ridding all anxiety. I'm not a big fan of easy answers. (I keep referring to the author as "he" and my apologies, but I don't recall his name) The one thing that he had mentioned on his site helped me. If anyone is interested, I'm sure I could find the web site...please email me. I have no idea if this guy knows his stuff or not, but some of what he mentions on his site helped me.

Control over panic attacks, no way I said to myself. Once your in one, it's uncontrollable, I say. But this author dared its readers to bring on a panic attack and said it wouldn't happen. What? Try to bring on an attack, are ya crazy? (maybe).

This is the thing. People who have panic attacks are VERY afraid of having another, and that (as I think I stated before) can create other panic attacks...now that is just ridiculous! But once the fear is taken out of the equation and that's exactly what happens when one tries to bring on his/her own panic attack, then according to the author, it won't happen. Without the fear, the attack doesn't occur. I'm thinking, yeah right. But I was desperate, so tried it when I was in an anxious state (not in an actual attack). I couldn't bring one on!

So how's it work if one has already started? I can still control it? Some seem to think so. Normally once I'm in a panic attack, I'm in it until it just goes away, or I've done something to help convince me that the fear is totally irrational (which is hard to do), but I've read where others believe that we can refuse to let our minds go through the constant loop of worry (the rapid heartbeat and the rest of the cycle that follows.)

I write this and still don't understand it, but I can tell you that after my worst attack, when I tried to make myself have another panic attack, I couldn't. When I started going through one a few days later, I refused to go down the road of worry/stress/panic, telling myself it wouldn't help to rehash this irrational fear. I'm done with it! If there is something constructive that I can accomplish, then do it; otherwise, let it go! I had to tell myself this off & on after I first noticed signs of an attack...clammy hands, rapid heatbeat, dizzy...

And to date, I haven't had another. This doesn't take away the root of my anxiety of course, and will it work for all of my panic attacks? I have no idea. I just know that this is one of the weirdest things that I've experienced in a long time.

God is good!